Blossoming
by secretreylo
Summary: After the death of his wife Annabelle, Ben is left to care for her illegitimate daughter Rey. Though indifferent to the child at first, things soon take a different turn as she grows older. WARNING for UNDERAGE Rey/Ben Solo
1. Chapter 1: Grave

**Author's Notes:** I'm not usually one for writing what I consider dark fics especially in terms of subject matter, but other fic authors who dared to venture into dark themes inspired me so here's my first reylo dark fic. It's dark in that the subject matter is dark. WARNING FOR UNDERAGE SEXUAL THEMES. Rey is 13 and Kylo is 33. You have been warned. I don't have to explain myself to you. Don't like, don't read.

* * *

The girl's hand was tiny against his, pale fingers grasping around his limp forefinger as he stood motionlessly before the freshly dug grave, watching as her mother's casket made its descent into the earth.

There were precious few people who attended the funeral. His wife was not someone very well liked, for the same reasons he did not shed a tear. The few who did were women who were just like her—spoiled, wild and wanton—and the few men, he was sure, were some of whom she had trysts with even as she had vowed to be faithful to him.

None of her relatives had attended. None of them, not even her parents, wanted to have anything to do with her. They had cut her off even before she married him.

He was young when he married her. Young and foolish. He had wanted to do right by her when she got pregnant, so at a tender age of twenty, he had sworn his life to her; lavished upon her an opulent lifestyle afforded by the fortune of his departed parents and the hard work of his own hands. But it seemed no matter how hard he tried to please her, nothing was ever enough; nothing except the company of her friends, and as he would soon find out, the company of other men.

He tore his eyes away from her casket and looked down at the three-year-old still clutching his finger. This girl, Rey, was not his; for that he was all too certain. She could be anyone's yet here she was, now under his care, this pale, sickly child that looked nothing like him but appeared every bit like her mother—from her brown hair, to her hazel eyes, to her pink lips.

Not for the first time, he wondered if she would follow down the same destructive path as the woman who bore her. He wondered if he should care whether or not she did. But as much as he resented her mother, he was duty bound to this child. Her mother had made sure of that.

Because despite her wild ways, despite the affairs, the scandals, the drugs, Annabelle did something right: she sacrificed her life to bring her daughter to the world.

He snatched his finger away from Rey's grasp and walked away before they had even finished lowering the casket, his thick, black coat billowing in the wind. He couldn't see her, but he could tell from the pitter patter of feet behind him that she was trying to catch up.

"Be..."

He walked on, past the few people in attendance and their murmurs, past the crypts, the tombstones and the crosses jutting out from the loam.

"Be..."

He paid no heed to the breathless calls of the child who was not his. He felt no contempt for her. He felt nothing for her.

"Ben..! W-Wait, please!"

Ben Solo clenched his fists and walked on.


	2. Chapter 2: Annabelle

**Author's Notes:** It's time to lay some ground work.

* * *

The soft cracking sounds from the fireplace reverberated throughout Ben's study, casting shadows over the books, folders and ornaments placed haphazardly throughout the room.

His study was his sanctum. Here, he could be lost in the oblivion of his thoughts. Here, with a glass of bourbon to accompany him, he spent most nights alone as he had been doing for the past ten years.

At thirty three, he was still young, but running a company he had not been prepared to run had taken its toll on him. His dark hair was long, his brown eyes shadowed from exhaustion and self-doubt. Every day was a monotonous flurry of tasks that seemed to have no end in sight—a far cry from his dreams of travel and exploration, of adventure and experiences.

Regret seeped in to drape him with its coldness once more. It had been his constant companion this past decade or more, and tonight would be no different. It was almost tradition that it whisper to him everything he could have had, had he not met Annabelle.

Annabelle. Even the thought of her name still caused him pain. She had been a woman of different shades—pure and innocent when they first met, but was much darker behind what she had allowed him to see. Until he was forced to see. Then, she was gray and feeble in that hospital bed, battling cancer until finally losing the fight after four agonizing years.

The diagnosis had come shortly after they married. Ben still remembered every detail of the white, lifeless walls of the clinic as the doctor explained their options. But Annabelle had flatly refused an abortion, and was willing to forego treatment if only to save the life of the child growing inside her.

Ben had admired her then, loved her even more, cared for her, catered to her every whim, lavished her with gifts and showered her with the best medical care money could afford. That was, until half way through her pregnancy, when he caught her in bed with not one, but with two men.

He had burst in then, murder in his eyes as the two men grabbed their clothes and made their hasty retreat. He would have been behind bars had Annabelle not stopped him from getting his gun.

Ben downed his bourbon, the tinkling of the ice in the glass ringing through his ears as he recalled how he had confronted his then pregnant wife and made her admit the truth—how she had had more affairs than she could count, and to Ben's shock, that he wasn't even the father of the child she was carrying. She had been pregnant before they even met.

Everything in him had screamed for retribution. But even in his rage, he knew he couldn't harm Annabelle. And so he had resorted to drowning his sorrows in work and liquor, still hoping that his wife—this beautiful, innocent-looking bride whom he had foolishly fallen for—would stop her indiscretions and return to his arms. For her, he had been willing to forgive. For her he had been willing to start over, but as time went on and the affairs continued, he realized Annabelle had never really cared for anyone but herself.

And the baby? Part of him wanted to believe her, that she would rather not get chemotherapy to ensure the baby was alive and healthy. But another part of him pointed to Annabelle's vanity, on how mortified she would be to lose her hair, to let sickly pallor set upon her flawless skin. Her lovers would not want her then if that happened.

The baby, she had kept to shackle Ben to her.

Each day, that cynical part of him had grown louder and louder until all he felt for Annabelle was disdain. He had left her to her own devices, to the partying, the whoring, the drugs, no longer caring if she and her bastard child lived or died.

The birth itself had been a long and difficult one, and her infant daughter, Reynabelle…Rey for short, had to spend months in the hospital because of complications caused by the life Annabelle had led. It had been a difficult time for Ben financially, but there was one good thing that came out of the birth—a change in Annabelle's ways. Not because of her love for the infant, no, but because her health had begun to rapidly decline. In delaying treatment, she no longer responded to them, and in the end, died a sunken shell of the beauty she once was.

Perhaps to others, he may seem very cold in his musings of his deceased wife. But he could take solace in the fact that he had done right by her. Ben had done all he could to keep Annabelle and her daughter alive, even promising her that he will continue to care for the child.

And care for Rey he did. Even after paternity tests proved without a shadow of a doubt that he was not the father, he continued to care for the child. Too sickly to be in school, he had her homeschooled with the best tutors in the state. He provided for her daily needs—clothes, toys, one of the largest rooms in the mansion, servants at her beck and call, and most importantly, medical care from the best doctors available. She did not want for anything.

But that was the extent of the care he gave Rey.

Ben lifted his glass up to his face to better see how much bourbon he had left, swirling around the liquid within the glass, its color reminding him of Rey's hazel eyes—eyes so like that of her mother's. Through the years, his indifference towards the child had grown. He had not held her when she was born, nor had he held the child the years after that. The closest he had even touched her was during Annabelle's funeral exactly ten years ago, when he allowed the girl to hold his forefinger as they watched her mother being lowered into the earth. Other than that, he had kept his distance, only being in the same room with her for meals and for birthdays, as well as her sick days.

Ben sighed and closed his eyes, letting the cackle of burning firewood ring through his ears. Rey's sick days were frequent. So frequent in fact, that majority of his conversations with her were about her health. He always inquired after her health, for while he was indifferent towards the child, she was still his stepdaughter, and she didn't deserve to die of health complications brought upon by the life her wanton of a mother had led. Rey…she was an innocent. She didn't deserve to have a mother like Annabelle, and she certainly didn't deserve to have an apathetic man like him as her guardian. But he was all she had. Annabelle's relatives, not even her parents, had wanted anything to do with her or her child.

"Master Solo?"

Ben turned towards the direction of the voice and found his elderly butler, Threepio standing by the door.

"What is it?" he asked, unable to hide the scorn in his voice at having been interrupted from his musings.

"It's Mistress Reynabelle," the butler began. "I'm afraid she has fallen ill and won't be able to join you for dinner tonight."

"I see." Ben slowly rose from his armchair, holding on to the arm rests for a moment to steady himself. Perhaps he had drunk one too many glasses of bourbon, but he had to see the girl immediately in case she needed the doctors again. "I'll go to her."

"Very well, sir."

He watched the old butler leave, and then, without a second thought as to his appearance, slowly made his way out of his study.

It was time to step into the shoes of being a father.

It was time to act like he cared.


	3. Chapter 3: Touch

**Author's Notes:** I have warned you from the very first chapter that there will be underage sexual themes in this story and I will continue to delve into that dark side in the chapters to come. This is the beginning of things spiraling down. You have been thoroughly warned. Rey is 13 and Ben is 33. Don't like, don't read.

* * *

Late afternoons were her favourite time of the day—when the sun would slowly give way to night, bringing with it a myriad of colors throughout the sky before the first twinkles of starlight begin to dazzle through the heavens. One of the older servants, Maz Kanata, had told her sunrises were much prettier, but Rey was a late sleeper and could never catch the first light of day. She was not really in much condition to be a morning person, and even in her waking hours, she would remain fatigued, as if she hadn't slept at all.

Today, she once again missed the sunset. She was bedridden yet again, this time with a cold-induced fever. This wasn't anything new. She was born weak, and if the doctors were to be believed, she would remain so for the rest of her life.

While some in her situation would rue the illness that imprisoned her to her bedroom, she actually, in her heart of hearts, looked forward to the days when she fell sick. For it was the only time in all her years that Ben Solo, truly took notice of her.

She turned away from the window and moved her gaze towards the door expectantly. He wasn't her father. She had known that for years…and he had made sure to let her know and feel that. He was as distant as anyone could be, but she was grateful all the same for the life he had given her—an opulent, pampered and sheltered life she knew she didn't deserve especially with what her mother had done.

Rey clenched her tiny fists. She knew all about her mother...what little good there was, but mostly about the bad. Over the past thirteen years of her young life, she had heard her fair share of whispers about the mother she could barely remember—lurid things. Vile things. Things enough to give her shame to last a lifetime. Then of course, Maz had come clean to her with the truth, and it had caused her to withdraw into herself.

She had dreamed of a loving mother. One who would brush her hair at nights, sing lullabies to her and read her stories. Instead, all she had were memories of a woman in pain, pale and suffering on a hospital bed until she faded away into nothingness.

She remembered feeling nothing at the death of Annabelle. The woman had never taken care of her. Never had the chance too because of her illness. Maz was the one who mothered her; cared for her daily needs at the behest of her indifferent stepfather.

But today…today would be different, she thought. She was sick, and as with her usual sick days, Ben would come in to check on her. These were the moments when he seemed to care, and these were the moments she looked forward to.

Knocks reverberated from the door, and Rey felt a sudden rush.

He was here.

"Come in."

The door slowly opened as her stepfather let himself in. Normally he would be presentable. Normally he would be stiff and formal. But there was something different that night. His ebony waves were tousled, his brown eyes dark and blood shot, his pale cheeks flushed red, and his usually impeccable dress shirt was unbuttoned almost down to his navel, exposing skin Rey had never set her eyes on.

A lump grew inside her throat, and she had to swallow lest she couldn't breathe. Was she getting sicker? She certainly felt her cheeks grow warmer beyond what her fever wrought.

Tearing her eyes away from his chest, she moved her gaze to his face and found him staring back at her with the most peculiar expression. When he remained at the doorway, she said, "Ben? Are you alright?"

She watched him blink then shake his head. "Yeah, I just...for a moment there I thought you were Annabelle."

Rey bit her lower lip. Knowing what she knew about her departed mother, she wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. "Is that...bad?"

Ben's reply was not immediate. "You just...look a lot like her, that's all."

Rey nodded. She may not remember much about her mother, but she had seen her in photographs. And she would take what Ben said as a compliment. "Thank you."

A few quiet, if not awkward moments passed before Ben half walked, half staggered further into the room until he was standing right beside her. Rey's nose was stuffy at the moment, but she thought she could discern the faintest waft of liquor from his breath. "So...how are you feeling, Rey?"

"My nose is stuffy and my throat hurts a little." She tried to keep her eyes on his face, but there was something about Ben's pale chest gleaming in the dim lamplight that made her unable to look away. She had seen him drunk through the years, usually as she observed him through a crack in the door leading to his study, but she had never seen him this dishevelled in front of her. He was usually so impeccable despite the liquor.

"Hmm..." Ben pressed his lips together. "Anything else?"

"My skin feels hot but I feel cold," Rey answered. She knew to list down all her symptoms when Ben asked. He needed to know of course, so that he could pass it on to the doctors if necessary.

Then, much to Rey's surprise, Ben sat on her bed before reaching out to place the vast expanse of his palm over her forehead.

There it was again. The lump on her throat, and she had to swallow, albeit painfully. Ben had never been so close to her, had never even touched her save for that one fleeting memory she had as a child, holding on to his finger as men lowered her mother's coffin into a freshly dug grave. And even then he had quickly pulled away and turned from her, forcing her to run after him, desperate for that touch, that human connection. She could feel the pinpricks of tears at the corners of her eyes, and she almost cried when he pulled his hand away, only to literally lose her breath when he moved the back of his hand down to touch the side of her neck.

There was no lump in her throat this time. She couldn't even swallow. Couldn't even breathe as heat coursed through her body from where his hand touched her skin. Her toes curled and her fingers bunched up around the sheets as his hand lingered, sending signals she couldn't comprehend.

"You do feel warm," Ben murmured before finally taking his hand away, and Rey let out an audible gasp. "Rey? What's wrong?"

She blinked and stared up at Ben, still sitting on her bed. She became hyper aware of his warmth, the lingering sensation from where he had touched her neck, the feel of his hip against her leg. Suddenly, it seemed as though she could feel everything.

"Rey?"

"N-Nothing," Rey shook her head. "It's just...I feel...sensitive." Sensitive. Yes, that was the word she was looking for. Then, noticing another symptom, she added, "And my heart's beating so fast."

She didn't think Ben...cold, distant stepfather that he was...could surprise her more that night. But he did when he placed his hand on the flat of her chest and over her heart.

Her eyelids shut on their own accord, and breathing became more difficult as her heart hammered against her rib cage, drumming its beats rapidly against Ben's palm. Once again, heat radiated from where he touched, seeping through the cotton of her baby pink night gown and into her skin, her hands clenching, her toes curling. What exactly was this feeling? Was this part of the fever?

Slowly, she opened her eyes and found Ben staring not at her, but at his hand, as if mesmerized that it was there. She didn't think her heart could beat any faster, but it did, and Ben muttered, "You're right, your heart is beating fast."

She expected him to take his hand away then, but he didn't. If anything he seemed to want to keep it there, his brown, bloodshot eyes fixated on his fingers as he slowly moved his palm from the middle of her chest and more towards the side of it.

Then, he swept his thumb across her nipple.

The sound that escaped her lips was almost inhuman—a cross between a cry and an agonized moan, and yet she was not in pain. If anything she felt the opposite, the feeling raging through her veins and making her lightheaded.

Almost immediately, Ben lifted his hand away and shot up from the bed, backing away as if he had been burned. "Rey...I...I'm sorry..."

Sorry? Rey thought as she came down from her high and blinked at him. Sorry for what?

She opened her lips to ask, but Ben turned and fled before she could, and she was once again alone in her room, left to deal with the confusing feelings elicited from Ben's touch.


	4. Chapter 4: Restless

**Author's Notes:** I'll be cranking things up a notch, put a little more heat in so to speak. I warned you in previous chapters that there will be underage sexual themes. If you're still here, then you know what you're in for. Rey is 13, Ben is 33. Don't like, don't read.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Ben tossed and turned in bed, unable to find the comfort of sleep. Guilt had been plaguing him for days, ever since his last visit to Rey's room—the day, in his partially inebriated state, that he had lowered his guard and allowed himself to be close to her.

Far too close.

Turning to his side, he lifted his hand to his face and stared at it, watching it tremble as he flexed and clenched it. Why had he touched her like that? What the hell was going through his mind that he would actually do such a thing? And to a mere child? Granted, she was not his child, but still he would never...he wasn't a...

Growling, he turned and buried his screams into his pillow as his mind assaulted him with the memory of her hot, silken skin against his hand, the beating of her heart against his palm...

...the moan that had come out of her soft, pink lips.

He groaned and clawed at his pillow. The way Rey had moaned was burned into his memory, refusing to fade even as he desperately willed it to. She sounded uncannily like Annabelle when he used to touch her the same way. It was bad enough that Rey was already starting to look exactly like her mother before all the drugs, whoring and illness took a toll on her beauty. In other words, Rey was starting to look like the sweet, innocent 19-year-old he had fallen desperately in love with.

Except Rey wasn't Annabelle. And she certainly was years away from being nineteen, causing him to become more acutely aware of the crushing guilt in his chest.

After a while, Ben turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. Somewhere in the vast house, the grandfather clock rang its midnight toll, the sound seemingly louder to his ears, ringing with it the same questions he had been asking himself over and over in the previous days. Why _had_ he touched her like that? Was it because of the bourbon? His lack of intimacy perhaps? He hadn't been intimate with a woman in years. Could that be the answer then?

Or could it be that seeing Rey's resemblance to Annabelle had awakened something long dormant within him? A longing for what could have been? Could it be that he was still in love with Annabelle after all this time?

He shook his head. No. Annabelle had broken his heart—crushed it into a million pieces, buried it and spat on its grave. He had lost all love for her and he certainly did not love the bastard child she bore...right?

Frantic knocks echoed from his door, and he quickly got up from bed. _"Who could it be at this time of night?"_ he thought, as he put on his black silk robe and strode across the bedroom to open the door. It couldn't be Maz or Threepio. It was their day off and they wouldn't be back until morning. That could only mean...

Heart suddenly beating fast, Ben swung the door open to find Rey, standing in her ankle-length cotton night gown. She was trembling something awful, her face flushed, and her eyes glistening with tears.

"Ben..." she began weakly, "I...I'm very sick..."

"What?" All previous thoughts flying out the window, Ben raised his hand to touch her forehead and her neck, doing his best to ignore the way she groaned at his touch. The way his hand tingled at the feel of her skin. "You don't seem hot."

"No." Rey shook her head. "My fever broke last night. It's not that. It's...I'm bleeding."

"Bleeding?" Ben pulled his hand away and did a quick sweep of her with his eyes. "Bleeding where?"

"D-Down there..." Rey stammered, and pointed to a stain on the lower part of her nightgown which Ben hadn't even noticed and he felt his cheeks grow hot. He knew what was happening of course, but he didn't think _he_ would be the one to be there for her when it did. This was Maz's responsibility, not his, but Maz was not here and Rey was sobbing uncontrollably.

There would be no one to be here for her but him.

"You're not sick," he said not unkindly. "It's called a period. It happens to girls your age. It's normal."

Rey's sobs stilled, and she looked up at his great height with the most perplexed expression on her face. "A period? It's...normal?"

"Every young lady goes through it," Ben continued, then tilted his head and asked, "Didn't your tutors teach you about the reproductive system yet?"

Rey shook her head again. "What's that?"

Ben felt his heart seize. She sounded so innocent. _Looked_ so innocent. Like Annabelle had. Like Annabelle _pretended_ to be. Only Rey wasn't pretending. She was truly new to all this, and it dawned on him just how sheltered the girl was.

"I'll...have Maz tell you more once she gets back." Ben took a step forward before closing the door behind him. "In the meantime, let's get you changed into some fresh clothes. I think Maz left some sanitary pads in your medicine cabinet for just such an emergency."

"Sanitary pads?" Rey repeated, her voice laced with confusion.

Oh boy, Ben thought. It was bad enough the girl didn't know about menstrual cycles, but how would he even begin to explain this?

"I'll...have you read the instructions on it," Ben settled on that non-explanation, and led Rey back to her bedroom across the hall. Once inside, he checked the medicine cabinet in her bathroom, found what he was looking for and handed the pack of sanitary pads to Rey, who promptly read the instructions before heading inside the bathroom alone to change. By the time she got out, Ben had already changed the sheets, which he had noticed was also stained.

"You didn't have to do that," Rey said softly as he carried the soiled sheets to the laundry hamper. "I was planning to do it myself."

"You wanted my help, didn't you?" Ben fluffed up the pillows before pulling back the covers for Rey. She quietly climbed on to the bed and settled in before he carefully draped the covers over her, making sure to tuck her in nice and snug.

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For taking care of me," Rey said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I...just want you to know that I'm grateful. That even though I'm not your daughter...and especially after what Mother did to you, you still looked out for me as much as you could. I'm only sorry that I haven't thanked you enough."

Ben's lips tightened. Rey had never been so vocal about her gratitude before. Perhaps it was because he never really gave her a chance to thank him especially since he had kept her at arm's length up until recently. But the mention of Annabelle soured whatever welcome he may have felt for her gratefulness.

"I made a promise to your mother that I would take care of you to the best of my capacity. And I never go back on my word," he mustered trying to keep his voice casual. "Now go to sleep. You don't want to get sick again, do you?"

"I...I think I might still be."

"How so?"

"My heart. It's beating too fast."

Ben froze, and he was taken back to what had occurred a few nights ago. Wasn't this the same scenario which led him to touching her?

"I'm...not sure I understand." Ben didn't look at her as he said it. "Can you elaborate?"

"My heart's beating so fast that I can barely breathe," Rey answered. "It's been happening a lot lately especially when I think of you."

"When you...think of me?" Ben finally looked at her, saw the flush of color rising to her cheeks and he knew his were the same. A thought of what the girl may have felt or may be feeling nagged at him but he refused to entertain it.

He was ready to shut her down, to tell her it was nothing and that she should just ignore it when she pressed on. "This didn't happen before. But after you touched me, that's when it started happening."

Ben swallowed hard. He couldn't say anything else except to echo her. "After I...touched you?"

"Yes. Here, here and here." Rey pointed to her forehead, neck and chest respectively, though she put more emphasis on her chest. "Especially here. It made my heart beat fast and my body warm all over."

Ben was dumbfounded, the nagging thought coming back at full force. Could it be that Rey... _felt_ something for him?

He shook his head inwardly. No. It couldn't be. She was probably just confused. Her young body was confused, especially since she had never been touched like that before.

"It's...it's nothing, Rey." Ben had to sit down on the bed, lest his knees give away. Better to just dismiss it, he thought. Sweep it under the rug. Maybe then she will stop asking about it. "It happens to everyone. Don't mind it and it will go away."

"Does it happen to you too?"

Before Ben could reply, Rey sat up from bed and placed her small hand on his chest.

He couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't even breathe as her hand continued to press against the exposed skin of his chest, heat blooming from where she touched. Not since Annabelle's funeral had she willingly put her hand on him, and it made him feel hot and cold at the same time.

"Your heart's beating so fast," Rey observed in a whisper, then, to Ben's astonishment, took his large hand in hers and pressed it against her chest. "So is mine. Can you feel it?"

Ben swallowed thickly. "Yes."

"Does that mean you're sick too?"

He looked at her then, this innocent, naive, sickly little girl who seemed to think every new sensation was a symptom of an illness. Yes, he wanted to tell her. He _was_ sick. Sick for having his body respond to the touch of a thirteen-year-old whom he had helped raise all her life, and even sicker for not wanting the touch to end.

Slowly, his gaze lowered to where his hand lay on her chest. He was so close to her budding breast—so close, that one swipe of a finger and he would feel the pebble of her nipple again, which seemed to be glaring at him from underneath the cream satin of her nightgown. The desire to touch her was overwhelming, and he could only do so much to resist.

Seemingly on its own accord, his thumb moved to brush over her nipple.

Rey's reaction was instant. She shut her eyes tight and moaned just like she did before—a cacophony of whimpers and gasps but this time, Ben didn't pull away. He couldn't. Not when the sounds coming from Rey's lips entranced him so, and soon, his other hand rose to knead her other breast, eliciting more of the same reaction.

"How does it feel when I do this?" he whispered, almost afraid to break the spell as he circled his thumbs around her pert nipples. He knew the answer of course, but for some reason, he wanted to hear her say it. _Needed_ to hear her say it.

Rey's breathing was labored. "It feels...good. Warm. Tingly."

Good. Warm. Tingly. That was exactly what he was feeling at the moment, except tenfold as he continued to massage her breasts, his dark eyes boring into her glazed ones. With her face flushed and her expression a picture of ecstasy, Ben couldn't help but think of Annabelle once more. She had the exact same look on her face whenever they were intimate...

...and whenever she was intimate with other men.

Ben snatched his hands away and rose to his feet in an instant.

"Ben?"

"I...I'm sorry," Ben mumbled, taking several steps back. "This was a mistake."

"A mistake?" Rey's brows furrowed, confusion, disappointment and panic clear in her hazel eyes. "Ben...I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Ben shook his head vehemently. "Just...just forget I was ever here. Forget everything that happened. I'm sorry."

He was quick to turn around and run for the door. Rey called out his name, but he could barely hear her through the din in his mind. And even after he had shut the door behind him, the screaming in his head would not abate.

He stared at his offending hands, the sensation from touching Rey's breasts still lingering. What the hell was he doing? She was a child! He had no business fondling her like that. She was his ward. His stepdaughter. The girl he had sworn to care for and protect...and yet he had taken advantage of her. Preyed on her innocence, her lack of knowledge when it came to boundaries, all to satisfy a carnal desire within him.

Desire...

Ben's eyes widened at the realization. He desired her. Heaven help him, he desired that child. But why? He had never, in his entire existence, shown a preference for the younger. Why was Rey any different?

Oh, but Rey _was_ different. She wasn't just any child. She was the child of one Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke. The woman who had beguiled and broken him. Rey was the spitting image of her mother, and yet, she was everything her mother wasn't—kind, innocent and pure.

But now...now he had sullied her.

Mind still reeling, Ben slowly made his way to his study, where he would drown his thoughts with bourbon until he mercifully passed out on his desk.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I hope I surprised you guys with the reveal that Annabelle is essentially Snoke in this story. At first, I didn't intend her to be Snoke or related to him, but it just made so much sense. She's the villain, the looming specter from beyond the grave that continues to influence Ben Solo; Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke was the one who took advantage of Ben, manipulated him and broke him. So yes, pretty much Rey has a bit of dark side in her too ;) Thanks again for reading.


	5. Chapter 5: Exploration

**Author's Notes:** You've come this far. You have been warned. There will be underage sexual themes in this story. I don't have to warn you again.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Rey spent the entire week reading up on the human reproductive system. Her tutors had started teaching her about the subject, and she suspected Ben had something to do with it in light of the confusion it had caused her when her period started. She had told Maz about how Ben helped her through the ordeal.

She did not reveal what else had happened between her and Ben that night. Whatever it was, he seemed greatly ashamed of it, to the point of actively trying to avoid her, even not having meals with her anymore, leaving her to dine all alone in the mansion's dining room.

Rey sighed, put the anatomy book down and stared out the window of her bedroom. Why was Ben so ashamed? It had felt good to be touched like that, to have an inexplicable kind of electricity course through her body from his ministrations. Something so good can't be bad, right? So why did he say it was a mistake? Why did he run from her?

 _"_ _Maybe I'm the one who did something wrong,"_ Rey thought bitterly, but she couldn't figure out what she could have possibly done to make him flee. Had she been too forward when she initiated the touch? Putting her hand on his chest like that and putting his hand on hers? Was he really that put off by touching her? If that was the case, why didn't he pull away immediately? She was so confused...

With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to her reading material. She understood more about periods now, how it was related to human reproduction, and more recently, she learned where babies came from.

She felt a blush bloom in her cheeks. Her first exposure to the word 'sex' had been from the whispers of servants about her late mother. How Annabelle would have sex with different men besides her husband. Rey didn't understand what the servants meant back then; she only surmised that sex—whatever it was—must be bad and that it's something you were only supposed to do with your husband. It wasn't until she began her lessons on human reproduction that she understood the true purpose of sex.

"Was that why Mother had sex so much?" Rey had asked a very uncomfortable Maz the day before. "Because she wanted many babies?"

"I don't think so, dear," Maz had said, and by her pauses, it was clear she was choosing her words carefully. "Sex...feels good, you see. But you're only supposed to do it with someone you really love."

"Then why did Mother have sex with so many different men?" Rey had pursued. "Did she love all of them?"

"No, dear," Maz had said with a shake of her head. "I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but Annabelle...she always wanted to feel good. That's why she had so many men. Not because she loved them. And forgive me for saying this, but I hope you don't grow up to be like her."

"I won't," Rey had replied solemnly, almost as a promise. She didn't want to have sex anyway. The way it was described in her anatomy book made it sound gross and tedious. But at the same time, she couldn't shake what Maz had said about the matter.

 _"_ _Sex...feels good, you see."_

 _It feels...good. Warm. Tingly._

Setting her book aside, Rey slid off her arm chair and hurried to her dresser mirror. She was feeling well for once, and had on a white, button-down blouse, a red, pleated skirt that almost reached her knees, white, knee-high socks and a pair of black Mary Jane's—usual clothing she wore to her tutoring sessions. She looked young for her age. Then again, she didn't know what other kids her age dressed like, being homeschooled and all, and not for the first time, she wondered what it would be like to go to an actual school. Would she fit in? Would she be able to catch up on the lessons? Would she be able to make friends? The only circle of friends she had growing up were Maz and her dolls, and even she had to admit she had outgrown the friendship she had with her toys.

Once again, it hit her how alone she was. She was the only child in this big Victorian manor. Ben had stopped allowing the servants to bring their children over a long time ago, after Rey caught the flu from one of them.

Ben...he always did have her best interests at heart, even though he kept his distance.

But he had been awfully close to her several days ago...

Rey closed her eyes and as with the last few days, remembered the way he had touched her. Remembered his large palms on the flat of her chest, massaging and strumming her tiny nipples. It had felt so good to be touched like that, and she wondered if sex was supposed to feel the same way. The anatomy book certainly didn't mention anything about breast massage. All it concentrated on was penetration of the penis to the vagina, which was certainly _not_ what Rey wanted to do. So maybe what Ben did had nothing to do with sex.

So why was he so ashamed of what he did? She still couldn't understand why something that made her feel so good was so wrong. Why had he stopped?

She had no answers. All she knew was that she craved that touch now. After years of distancing himself from her, he had finally given her something she hadn't realized was missing in her life—the warmth of an intimate human touch, and she was starved for it.

Slowly, she reached up to undo her blouse, her fingers moving from button to button until she was half-naked in front of the mirror.

Rey let her blouse fall to the floor. She wasn't wearing a bra. Her breasts were still too little for that, but she could see that her nipples were taut, and they felt as tingly as the time Ben had brushed his fingers across them.

Moving her hands to her chest and cupping her diminutive mounds, she did her best to mimic what Ben had done, squeezing and kneading at the small swell of flesh and circling her nipples with her thumbs. It felt good, but not as good as Ben had done. His hands were much larger. Covered much more of her breasts, and he was certainly much more adept with his fingers.

Still, Rey couldn't stop, and soon, she was breathing heavily, an electric feeling coursing through her veins with every squeeze of a palm, every flick of a finger. There was something about watching herself in the mirror...watching herself do this, watching her little breasts shape and reshape in her hands that made it feel oh so good.

She wondered what it would be like if Ben was the one touching her instead, and she felt a rush of feeling between her legs at the thought.

She stopped massaging her breasts and looked down. According to the book, the thing between her legs was called a vagina, and that was where the penis would go in during sex. What she found strange was that her vagina was feeling warm and tingly...and a bit...wet? Slimy? Was her period back? But the book said it only happened once a month, and hers had ended a few days ago.

She lifted her skirt to check, and through the mirror, she saw what looked like a wet patch on her white cotton panties. It didn't look like she was bleeding. She was about to slip off her underwear to check when the door suddenly opened.

Rey jumped, nearly stumbling backwards when Ben burst into her room without knocking. She was so surprised, she didn't even think to cover herself. "B-Ben! You...you scared me!"

Ben didn't say anything. Not at first. He was breathing hard, as though he had run a long way, and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. His face was flushed, and though his suit was immaculate, Rey saw that his collar was open and his tie was loose.

But it was his eyes that caught her attention. They were darker than usual, and she could almost feel the heat of his gaze on her. It was only when she saw his eyes flit towards her breasts that she thought to cover herself with her arms.

"You're late for class," Ben said in a stern tone that made her look up fearfully at him. He had never used that tone of voice on her before, and it froze her to her spot, even as he took several steps forward until he was looming over her, eyes boring into hers. "What were _you_ doing in here?"

"I...I...was just..." Rey struggled for words, feeling as though she had just been caught doing something she shouldn't have. But was she? Was it wrong to touch herself and make herself feel good especially since she always seemed to feel physically ill? But then again, Ben looked so mad... "I was just getting ready."

It was an obvious lie. She had never lied before, but she was too scared to tell the truth. As quickly as she could, she bent over to pick up her blouse from the floor and put it on, but she was shaking so much, she kept fumbling with the buttons.

Then, much to her shock, Ben knelt down and began helping her button up, taking his time with each button, and she had to stifle a gasp when his knuckles brushed against her still sensitive nipples.

By the time he was finished, Ben's face had softened, and the heat of his stare had fizzled into warmth. "Go. Your tutor is waiting in the library."

Rey nodded and hurried past him, her heart still pounding and her skin still warm from his heated gaze.

Ben stared after the girl as she ran past him and out the door, leaving him to stand alone in the middle of her vast room, with nothing but her dead-eyed teddy bears and expressionless dolls for company. It was a room fit for a little girl, filled with toys, pastel hues, laces and frills...only, Rey wasn't so little anymore. She was growing up. Far faster than he had anticipated. And _he_ was the cause.

 _He had sullied her._

Ben walked the few steps to her armchair and sat on it, feeling the girl's warmth which still lingered on the seat.

He had seen _everything_. Had been watching through the crack of her door the whole time. He had gone to her room to personally fetch her for her class, finally mustering the courage to face her after what had transpired between them, only to find himself unable to move at the sight of her, sitting by her window, a large book on her dainty little lap, the morning sunlight hitting her in all the right angles as to make her skin glow and her long, chestnut hair shine like a halo around her head. She'd looked so beautiful then...like Annabelle had once been when he first laid eyes on her. And in that moment, it _was_ like the first time he had seen Rey, and he felt his heart pound in a way it hadn't in years.

And then...she had done something that left him slack-jawed and weak-kneed. She had gone to her mirror, stripped off her blouse and touched herself, and he had to open his collar and loosen his tie, lest he couldn't breathe.

Ben buried his face in his hands, shutting his eyes tight but the image of little Rey massaging her tiny breasts had seared itself into his mind. And why wouldn't it? He hadn't stopped watching her at all, and at one point, even unconsciously reached down to rub himself through his pants. It was only when Rey started to take off her underwear that he had burst in to stop her.

Why he had stopped her, he wasn't certain. Perhaps it was because he probably wouldn't have been able to control himself anymore if he had watched her continue. Even after he had entered the room, he had been left speechless at the sight of her, half-naked and trembling before him, and it had taken all he had not to succumb to his baser instincts in much the same way he had with Annabelle.

Rey was the mirror image of her mother. And he now realized that Rey was starting to manifest the same power over him as Annabelle had.

No, he thought with a shake of the head. That wasn't going to happen. He wasn't going to be caught in the same spell again. Not if he can help it.

He would make a few calls, he thought, as he rose to his feet and strode out of the room, hurrying towards his study. He was going to put some distance between him and Rey.

He had to, before he did something he might regret.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Oh no, what does Ben have in mind? You'll have to stay tuned to find out. And if it's not already apparent in the tags, VC Andrews has had an influence in the story so there will be elements of gothic literature and settings. In particular, the novel My Sweet Audrina as well as the Casteel series has had an influence on me. I've since stopped reading VC Andrews but I can't deny how it was part of my teenage years.


	6. Chapter 6: Distance

**Author's Notes:** A bit more plot development for you guys this time around. This was supposed to be a longer chapter, but it got so long that I had to cut it at a point. The rest will be in chapter 7, which will be hella long so stay tuned for that.

Things will mellow down a bit from here on out. Hope you'll stay tuned for more because I got a lot of plans mapped out for this sordid tale.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

"A boarding school?" Rey asked in surprise as she stood before Ben's mahogany desk. It had been days since they last saw each other, much less spoken to one another, and so she was surprised when he called her to his study, even more so when he stated his proposition. "You want me to go to an actual school?"

"Yes," Ben stated flatly, peering at her from behind the newspaper he was reading. She could barely see his face, so she had no way of reading his expression. But something told her he wasn't entirely happy about it. Or maybe it was just something she would like to believe. "You're old enough to be on your own for a little while. And it would do you good to be around children your age."

Rey felt her fingers bunch up involuntarily around the skirt of her pale blue dress. "What if I get sick from being exposed to other people?"

"Your doctors have given you the all clear," Ben replied and flipped to the next page. He seemed disinterested, or trying to be, Rey wasn't sure. "You'll also get a room all to yourself to minimize your exposure. I'll be getting you a phone so you can call or text me. And if you're worried that you wouldn't be able to catch up to the lessons, don't be. The school year is just starting and your tutors actually teach in that school so you're up to speed with your classes and then some."

Rey bit her lip. She had always wanted to be normal and go to school like other kids. But now that she was actually going, she wasn't so sure. But if Ben thought she was ready, then maybe she must be. "When do I start?"

Ben moved to another page and straightened the newspaper so as to cover his entire face. "You start Monday."

"Monday?" Rey repeated, unable to keep her voice down from shock. "But that's in two days! I haven't even prepared my things—"

"I had Maz ready your clothes and school supplies early this morning. Your luggage should be ready before you leave for your dormitory. I've done all the necessary paperwork so there's no need to worry about that. All that's missing is your uniform, which is still at the tailor's but you should be getting that in a week." Ben sounded so mechanical when he spoke. He had never been the warmest person towards her, but he sounded so much colder and more distant now than he had ever been.

When Rey didn't speak, Ben folded his newspaper to look at her, and it unnerved her how hollow his eyes looked. "I thought you wanted this, Rey. I seem to recall you asking to go to school before."

"I do want this," Rey affirmed, but she couldn't keep the uncertainty from her voice. "It's just that...it's all so sudden. I thought you wanted me homeschooled for life. What changed?"

Ben didn't answer immediately. "I just think it would be best for you to see a bit more of the world. Interact with people other than me and the servants. It could help improve your social skills."

Rey frowned. "What's wrong with my social skills?"

"Nothing. But you can certainly use more experience," Ben added, then leaned forward, hands clasped on the table. "Believe me, Rey. It would do you good. I led a sheltered life once too. I didn't learn to be independent until after my parents died when I was in my early twenties. That's why Annabelle..."

Rey was quick to notice the way Ben trailed off. He had never opened up about his early days before, and it was the first time she ever heard about him being sheltered. But it was what he said in the end that got her attention. "That's why my mother...what?"

"Let's just say she took advantage of my naivety," Ben said, not without a hint of bitterness. "I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I want you to grow up to be better than me. Make better decisions and not have people take advantage of you."

Rey could only nod. She was sheltered, true, but she knew enough that there were people like her mother in the world, and it did little to instill confidence in her. Still, she put on a brave front. She would have to grow up and experience more of the world some time and perhaps the sooner the better.

"Now, for some ground rules." Ben stood up, walked around his desk and began slowly circling Rey. "This is a co-ed school, so you'll have boys and girls for classmates. Under no circumstance is a boy allowed in your room. You are to text or call me in case of emergencies and I expect you to be home every weekend."

Rey perked up. "So I still get to go home on weekends?"

"Yes. I'll have the chauffeur pick you up every Friday afternoon. And one more thing." Ben stopped in front of her and sat at the edge of his desk, arms folded across his chest. Rey thought the buttons of his white shirt might burst open. It didn't occur to her until then how massive his chest was, even though she had already seen it. "I will be imposing a strict seven o' clock curfew. After your classes, you are to head straight to your dorm room. I have arranged it so that you will have dinner brought up to your room every night. I don't want you to go out late with friends. Understand?"

 _Friends,_ Rey thought. She would have actual friends!

Ben raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you smiling about?"

"Huh?" Rey stared up at him and blinked. She didn't realize she was smiling. "It's nothing. I'm just...looking forward to having friends."

Ben grew quiet, seeming to contemplate for a moment before sighing heavily. He then returned behind his desk, opened the drawer and produced a small, white rectangular box, which he handed over to Rey. "This is your phone. I know it's your first time to own one. You have a couple of days to learn how to use it. Just read the manual. You are also to keep this on your person at all times. That way, I can reach you any time if needed."

Rey took the box in her hands and opened it, staring at the shiny block of electronics with equal parts curiosity and oddness. Ben was right, she had never owned her own phone before; certainly not because they couldn't afford it, but because with her just being in the manor all the time, there hadn't been a need to. And Maz had raised her not to rely on technology very much, which led to her preference for books instead of computers. To own a piece of modern technology was strange for Rey, and like the computer in Ben's study or the large flat screen TV in their living room, it seemed out of place in their old Victorian home. But she would certainly need it now that she was going away to school.

"Thank you," she mumbled and closed the box's lid. "I'll keep it with me always."

"Good," Ben said, then sat on his chair again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I still have some work to do. Kindly tell Threepio to bring me up dinner later. I'll be dining here in my study."

That gave Rey a pause. "You mean...you won't be having dinner with me again?"

The disappointment must have been clear in her voice, because there was a pained expression on Ben's face when she said it but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "No, I won't," was all he said, before turning his attention to his computer screen.

Rey's fingers curled around the box. It was a dismissal. And it hurt far more than she thought it would.

With a quiet 'goodbye', Rey turned and exited Ben's study, ignoring the pinpricks of tears at the corners of her eyes.

* * *

Ben stopped typing as soon as the door closed, then leaned back on his leather office chair and ran a hand across his scalp. He had been preparing himself for this day when he would inform Rey of his decision to send her away, and things had gone relatively well so to speak. She had taken everything in a stride...until that was, when she had asked him about having dinner with her.

The disappointment in her voice when he denied her had lanced through his heart. Over the years, he had had relatively few chances to make her sad, mostly because he had stayed away. He didn't realize how much it would hurt to see pain in those hazel eyes of hers...eyes so like her mother's. But Annabelle, her eyes had never shown pain except when she had become bedridden, and by then he had become indifferent, if not disdainful of her. Rey's eyes on the other hand had only lit up with joy when he was around. To see her so sad like that was like taking a knife to the chest.

He shook his head. He would have to get used to it, he thought, especially since he had every intention of distancing himself from her. Things would go back to the way they were, when he was nothing but her apathetic benefactor.

And that was the way it should be.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Surprised by the sudden inclusion of modern technology? I am too! I actually didn't intend to have modern tech added to this fic because I wanted it to be timeless but after writing the outline for the later chapters, I realized I NEED technology and NEED to set it in the modern world. So we got cellphones.

I know this isn't exactly as steamy as previous chapters, but I'm building up to something that I hope will surprise, intrigue and delight you guys. Please do read and review. Reviews give me life and is fuel for the writer's soul. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7: School

**Author's Notes:** There's more story development in this chapter as well, and like the previous chapter, this was supposed to be longer but I had to cut it off again because it was too long.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters

* * *

Two days passed and before Rey realized it, she was in the family Mercedes Benz, driving away from the three-story Victorian mansion she had lived in all her life. It was rare for her to be out of the house—Alderaan Manor as it was called—and she did her best to commit the structure to memory—from its bay windows jutting out from patterned brick walls, the tilted slate roofs, the overall asymmetrical but aesthetically pleasing design, and the well-maintained shrubs of colorful flowers that hugged its base. It looked like one of her dollhouses, but prettier.

It would be the last time she would see the house, at least until Friday, when she would be home again. That seemed like such a long time from now...

"Rey? Are you listening?"

"Huh?" Rey turned to her side and found Ben, looking at her questioningly. "Uhm, yes. Sorry. What were you saying?"

Ben sighed. "I was asking if you remembered what I told you before? About the ground rules?"

"Oh. Yes." Rey's eyes shot up, as if reading from invisible lines over her head. "No boys in my room, text or call you for emergencies, seven o' clock curfew, don't stay out late."

Ben nodded approvingly. "And don't forget that Artoo will be picking you up on Fridays. He will arrive at five o' clock sharp so don't be late."

Artoo was their chauffeur. He was a man of few words, mostly spoke in monosyllables but he had been with the family for about as long as their butler, Threepio, so they understood his quirks.

Rey looked out the car window once more. While she was still a bit wary about going to school, she also couldn't help but feel a little bit excited. She was eager to know what her school was like, although she knew she wouldn't have to wait for long, as it was only about a forty five minute drive away from Alderaan Manor.

Throughout the drive, Rey would alternate from watching the passing scenery and glancing at Ben, who was busy typing away at his laptop. She knew he still had work this morning, but he had to meet with the headmistress for some last minute arrangements, and perhaps to make sure she was all settled in. She certainly didn't mind his company, even if he was just silent beside her. It was better than being alone, and on her first day of school no less.

Rey smoothed out her skirt. She had on a pale pink, long-sleeved dress with a high collar, patterned with tiny red flowers and flourished with white lace trimmings. It was one of her favorite dresses, and one she had prepared just for this occasion. In place of knee-high socks, she wore white stockings and a pair of red flats on her dainty feet. Her long, chestnut hair, she simply let down, though she did have a white headband on.

"When do you think the tailor would be done with my uniform?" she asked Ben. "Are the other kids wearing uniforms already?"

"Not that I'm aware," Ben answered absently, eyes still trained on his laptop screen. "From what I recall, they usually don't wear uniforms until a week after school starts, which should be around the time we get your uniform from the tailor's."

"Did you go to this school, Ben?" Rey continued. If she could find ways to continue to converse with him, she would. It had already been thirty minutes or so since their drive started and she knew they were getting close.

"No, I didn't." Ben tapped and scrolled through his computer, still not facing her. "But my parents were benefactors, so I decided to continue being one. Also, my mother was close to the headmistress so I think you will find this school very accommodating."

Rey nodded, her worries diminishing a little. "So where did you go to school?"

"I was homeschooled, like you were, but I did eventually go to an all-boys school when I was your age."

"Really?" Rey tried to keep the excitement from her voice. This was only the second time Ben spoke about his younger days. She tried to imagine him at thirteen, and she recalled the oil painting which adorned their living room wall, right over the fireplace. It was that of a young Ben Solo with his parents Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo. Other than that, she hadn't seen him in old photographs. In fact, she hadn't seen _any_ photographs in the house at all, except for the few she had of her mother, which she kept in a small keepsake chest. "Which school was it?"

It took a while for Ben to answer. "The Jedi Academy. Well, one of the campuses at least. An all-boys one. They have an all-girls one too, as well as a co-ed."

Rey's eyes widened. She may not know much about schools, but she did learn through history lessons that The Jedi Academy was where many great leaders graduated from. "Isn't that like...a really prestigious school?"

"It was, before my uncle suddenly up and left. He was the School President. Now, that school's gone to sh...to the dogs."

"What was it like there?"

Ben finally stopped tapping away and turned to her, and she was more than relieved to find no trace of annoyance in his face. "Why the sudden curiosity?"

"I don't know." Rey shrugged. "I guess it's because you never really talk about your childhood. And I like hearing you talk."

Ben grew quiet, and for a moment, Rey thought he wouldn't say anything more, but he surprised her. "There's nothing much to say. I was a typical high school student. I got good grades but I also got into a lot of fist fights."

Rey blinked up at him. "Did you win?"

It was Ben's turn to shrug. "Some. It didn't really help that my uncle was the School President. If anything, that made some of my classmates jealous. Oh, there's your school now."

Rey turned to where Ben was pointing, and saw the black iron gates with an arch way that said 'The Raddus Hall'. Beyond the gates and nestled between pine trees was a large three-story red brick complex with white windows and dark grey slanted roofs that almost reminded Rey of Alderaan Manor.

After checking with security, Artoo drove the Benz into school grounds, stopping at the entrance of The Raddus Hall. The chauffeur then opened the door for both passengers, and Rey stepped out of the vehicle to further admire the school building while Ben and Artoo took out her luggage from the trunk.

Then, she froze. There were other kids milling about, some her age, others older, and just like what Ben had said, they weren't wearing uniforms yet. In fact, they wore nothing like what she wore—no dresses with frills and laces, or skirts with petticoats. Almost everyone wore t-shirts and jeans, and she suddenly felt so out of place.

"Rey? What's wrong?"

She looked up at Ben, who stood beside her with a quizzical look on his face, luggage in each hand.

"I...I feel overdressed." She gestured to all of her, growing more conscious with each passing moment. She could feel eyes on her. "I didn't bring anything else besides dresses. Is it too late to go buy more...appropriate clothes?"

"There's nothing inappropriate about what you're wearing," Ben remarked. "Besides, in a week's time everyone will be wearing the same thing. Now, come. Let's head to your room first."

Rey followed Ben and Artoo through the hallways and towards the dormitories. Her room was at the second floor, and offered a great view of the school grounds. But what struck Rey the most was the fact that her room felt like home—big fluffy pillows on silk spreads, a desk by the window from which she could study, a dresser with a mirror at one side of the room, and on the other, shelves with porcelain dolls, teddy bears and books. But what excited her most was a dollhouse at the corner.

She ran towards it, unable to help but squeal with delight. It wasn't just any dollhouse, but an exact replica of Alderaan Manor, and she eagerly checked out its contents, overjoyed to find not just detailed miniatures of furniture, but also dolls that resembled the occupants of the house.

"I thought you might miss home, so I decided to have this made for you." Ben said from beside her, and she turned to him, surprised to find him kneeling beside her. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" she declared, unable to curb her enthusiasm as she took two dolls to show him. "This is you and me right?"

Ben nodded, and Rey thought she could detect just the faintest of smiles on his full lips.

She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. She wondered even more where that thought came from.

As if he read something in her eyes, Ben stood up abruptly. "Well...you'll have to unpack later after class. Put your books, notebooks and pens in a bag and we'll head off to meet the headmistress."

Rey put the dolls back and hurried to do as she was told, filling her light brown satchel with school supplies before heading out the door with Ben and Artoo. Down the hall, they parted ways with the chauffeur as he headed back to the car and they walked the flight of stairs which led to the headmistress's office.

They approached the door leading to the office. Ben raised his hand to knock when a tall, elderly gentleman wearing a fedora and a trench coat stepped out of the double doors.

"Oh, excuse me, sir." Ben stepped out of the way, as did Rey, but the gentleman remained unmoving.

Frowning, Rey looked up to see what the holdup was about when she saw the old man staring back at her with the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen. But more conspicuous was the grotesque scar that traversed the side of his wrinkled and pockmarked face, and Rey had to avert her eyes. She had been taught it was impolite to stare.

"Sir, may we pass please?" Ben said gently, and it was only then that the old man seemed to gather his bearings and step away from the door.

Ben entered first, and Rey hurried after him, a shiver running down her spine when she realized the scarred old man was still staring after them, particularly at her, and so it was a relief when the door finally closed behind her.

"Benjamin! How wonderful it is to see you."

Rey turned away from the door to look towards the voice, and found a slim older lady standing up from behind a large desk at the end of the office. She was quick to cross the room, and while Ben held his hand out for a shake, the lady ignored it and instead, threw her arms around him.

"Nice to see you too, Miss Holdo," Ben said stiffly.

"Oh, none of that formality, please, Benjamin," the lady chided with a smile before letting him go, her blue eyes twinkling. "You know you can always call me Auntie Amilyn."

Ben nodded. Rey had never seen him so flustered before. "Miss Hol...I mean Auntie Amilyn, this is Reynabelle. I've told you about her on the phone. Rey, this is Amilyn Holdo, Raddus Hall's Headmistress and a close friend of my mother's."

"Ah yes." Amilyn bent down to Rey's eye level and held out her hand. "How do you do, young lady?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," Rey replied and shook Amilyn's hand. The woman wasn't what Rey pictured in her mind for a 'headmistress'. For one thing, Amilyn's head of chin-length wavy hair was purple, though it did have streaks of gray in it. She also wore a mauve pants suit that actually complimented her hair color quite a bit.

"Very polite." Amilyn beamed and let go of Rey's hand. "Come, have a seat, and let's discuss a few things before you go to your classroom."

For the next ten minutes, Rey listened as Amilyn went through the general background and history of the school as well as a brief list of school rules and regulations before handing Rey a copy of the school handbook. After some small talk with Ben and some more grown up talk about arrangements and expenses, Amilyn rose to her feet. "Now that that's over with, shall we now go to your classroom?"

Rey nodded, and together with Ben, followed the headmistress through the school's many halls. Rey hoped she wouldn't get lost in here, and made a note to explore the school once she got the chance.

"Ah, here we are." Amilyn gestured for Rey to enter through an open door. She could hear the chattering of students inside, and she took a few tentative steps towards the doorway before looking back at Ben, suddenly a little panicked. It didn't hit her until then how final the moment was; that she would be facing this new world all alone. Ben would be leaving for work and she wouldn't see him again until the week was over.

On impulse, she turned and flung herself to Ben, wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing her cheek against his abdomen in what was the first hug she had ever given him her entire life.

He didn't move, nor speak, and neither did she. Instead, she just tightened her hold on him and hoped against hope that he understood what she was trying to say without words.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he gently pushed her away.

"Go," he said, his voice and face soft. "You'll do fine. Remember that I'm just a call or text away."

"Okay," Rey nodded, and found herself smiling a little as she turned towards the doorway again. With a deep breath, she held herself high and stepped in to the classroom.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Rey's about to enter into a new world now. Will she fit in? Stay tuned to find out! If you can, please leave a review. That way I'll know if there are any readers out there


	8. Chapter 8: Friends

**Author's Notes:** Oh, and let's pretend I know anything about Forbes Magazine. This is an alternate universe reality after all.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters

* * *

Rey entered the classroom with dread, and for good reason. Because the moment she stepped inside, the chatter died down and all eyes turned towards her.

She froze. Just like the students she had seen outside, everyone in the class wore shirts and jeans. She was the only one wearing a dress, and she felt her cheeks grow hot when the silence turned into whispers.

 _"_ _What in the world is she wearing?"_

 _"_ _What is she, like, eight or something?"_

 _"_ _Looks like someone didn't get the memo."_

 _"_ _Is that a petticoat? Who even wears that anymore?"_

Rey looked back at the doorway, hoping to see Ben there but found the hallway empty. Ben and Amilyn had already gone, and she was left all alone to face this.

Taking a deep breath, Rey squared her shoulders and made her way to the back of the class, where she spotted an empty desk at the corner. She could still feel eyes on her as she walked towards it, and it was only after she had taken her seat that the other students began chatting among themselves again.

Relieved to have the attention away from herself, Rey put her satchel bag on the floor beside her and began to wait patiently for the teacher to come in.

"Hey," a voice called from beside her, and Rey turned to see an Asian girl with straight, jet-black hair held up in a ponytail grinning at her. "I like your dress. It has a Lolita vibe to it."

"Lolita?" Rey repeated. The name sounded familiar.

"You know. Lolita fashion," the girl reiterated gesturing at Rey. "Girly dresses that make you look like a doll?" When Rey still looked at her quizzically, she prodded, "It's a term from a book by Nabokov?"

Rey's eyes widened as a memory assailed her. She had been twelve then, and looking for a book to read in the manor's library when she came across Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. She remembered because Ben had been at the library at the time too, and he had snatched the book from her hands and looked at her with equal parts alarm and horror.

Rey decided to answer with a half truth. "Sorry, I'm not familiar."

"Really? It's a pretty infamous book," the girl declared. "Why? Don't like to read?"

"I actually love to read." Rey beamed, happy to settle on the subject of a hobby. "I read a lot of Jane Austen."

"Oh, I love Jane Austen too! Pride and Prejudice is the best." The girl smiled back and held out her hand. Rey took it with a firm shake. "I'm Rose by the way. Rose Tico. And this here's my boyfriend, Finn Wolff."

Rey tilted her head a bit so she could look at the dark-skinned boy with an infectious smile sitting beside Rose. He waved at Rey, and she waved back before turning to Rose. "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah. We only recently got together." Rose giggled, then stopped. She must've quickly caught on to the look of bewilderment in Rey's face. "Wait. Don't tell me you don't know what a boyfriend is?"

Rey considered fibbing, but decided to come clean with a shake of her head. "I've been homeschooled all my life," she explained, and Rose's jaw dropped. "This is the first time I've ever been to an actual school."

"Get out," Rose whispered.

Rey instantly grew flustered. "I...I'm sorry. You...want me to get out?"

"No, silly! It's just an expression." Rose laughed but quickly caught herself when Rey lowered her head. "Sorry, I'm not laughing _at_ you. It's just...you're such a breath of fresh air. I like that."

"Thank you," was all Rey could say, not quite sure whether that was a compliment or not. But Rose seemed friendly enough, so she decided to introduce herself. "I'm Reynabelle, by the way. You can call me Rey."

"Nice to meet you, Rey." Rose continued to smile. She couldn't seem to stop doing so, but Rey thought it suited her cheery disposition. "Rey...what? What's your last name?"

Rey hesitated. She had only known one surname her entire life, but she had never had to introduce herself with it, and she certainly didn't like to. But the truth of the matter was Ben had never officially adopted her. And why would he? She was born from a loose, unfaithful woman and a faceless father. She could be anyone's...

"Snoke," she finally said in a small voice. "My last name is Snoke."

"Snoke?" This time, it was Finn who spoke up, leaning forward on his desk so he could look at Rey. "Are you related to Abraham Snoke? One of Raddus Hall's benefactors?"

"Uhm I don't know," Rey said unsurely. "My mother was estranged from her family, even back when she was still alive so I really don't know of any relatives from her side."

"Hold on." Rose held up a hand. "I'm confused. You're saying your mother's the Snoke? You took your mother's last name?"

Rey nodded.

"What about your father?" Finn questioned.

"I...don't have one," Rey admitted, and when she saw the way Rose and Finn looked at each other, she quickly added, "I do have a stepfather though. His name is Benjamin Solo."

"Benjamin Solo?" Rose's eyes widened. " _The_ Benjamin Solo? CEO of Solo Shipping Enterprises?"

"Yes, that's him." Rey sat up straight, a soft smile on her lips. "You've heard of him?"

Rose looked at her incredulously. "Oh, I don't know. He was only on the cover of _Forbes freakin' magazine_ as one of their 30 Under 30 CEOs a few years back."

Yes, Rey remembered that photo shoot for that cover. She had only been nine or ten years old then, and had watched from a corner of the study as a professional photographer took photo after photo. Ben hadn't been too happy to do it, but it was for the good of the company's image, and he had managed to channel his contempt for the shoot into an intensity that captured Rey's attention. It had been the first time she realized that Ben, in spite of his large ears which he kept hidden under his long, dark waves, the somewhat asymmetrical features of his face and the moles that dotted his pale skin, was actually a rather attractive man.

"How do you know this stuff about Benjamin Solo, Rose?" Finn asked.

"My parents actually work for him," Rose stated proudly, piquing Rey's interest. "They've been with the company since back when it was still run by his parents. Of course, Benjamin Solo had to take over after his parents died in that car accident. I think he was barely twenty then."

Rey nodded. That much, she knew, and it was also not long after the accident when Ben met Annabelle. He had met her during a very vulnerable time in his life...

"Heads up, the teacher's here." Finn whispered, cutting off Rey's train of thought.

"We'll talk more after class, Rey." Rose straightened in her seat, dropping her voice just as the teacher entered the room. "Want to have lunch with us later?"

Rey didn't have to think twice.

"I'd like that," she said with a smile. "I'd like that very much."

* * *

Rose and Finn talked a streak to Rey, and by the time lunch period came, she already knew more about the two of them. Rose shared her same love for books, especially the classics. She and her older sister Paige were second generation immigrants from Vietnam, and their parents had worked their way up the corporate ladder of Solo Shipping Enterprises. Rose even mentioned how she and her sister had been to the offices of the company, which made Rey a little envious. She had never been there, much less to Ben's office.

Finn on the other hand was an only child, and used to go to the First Order Academy before he transferred to The Raddus Hall after his parents had to relocate for a better job offer. He and Rose met when his family moved in to Rose's neighborhood and they had been inseparable ever since. Finn planned to join the school paper first chance he got, having a knack for writing and journalism. He had also been a writer for the school paper back in his First Order Academy days.

"That's why I'm familiar with obscure information like school benefactors. Have to do your research if you're to write accurate articles after all," Finn explained during lunch, speaking between bites of his sandwich. "How about you, Rey? Maybe you'd like to join the school paper too? Or any of the school clubs?"

"I don't really write," Rey admitted, taking a small bite of her own sandwich. "Besides, I have a curfew. I don't have time for other things besides school."

"That sucks," Rose commented. "I was going to have you join the school book club. You would like it."

"Yes, but my stepfather is pretty firm about me being in my room by seven in the evening."

"Seven? Damn, that's too early," Rose whined, twirling her plate of spaghetti with a fork. Then, she perked up. "I know, maybe Finn and I can go to your room. That way, you won't have to be out after seven."

"Sorry," Rey said sheepishly, darting her eyes to Finn. "I'm not allowed boys in my room either. Rose can come though."

"Eh," Finn said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Understandable. There are school rules against boys and girls being in the same dorm room after all."

"But why though?" Rey asked. She hadn't been able to ask Ben why boys weren't allowed in her room. Now would be her first chance at an explanation. "It's not like they're going to do anything in the rooms besides study and sleep, right?"

She watched as Finn and Rose stared at her as if she had grown a second head, before they turned to share a look. "What?"

Rose cleared her throat. "Rey…I know you're new to all this, so I'm going to keep it plain and simple. The school doesn't want boys and girls to be in the same room because they might…engage in sexual activities."

"Sexual activities?" Rey repeated with a hard swallow, her mind barreling back to the book she had read. "You mean…the school's afraid that the students might have sex?"

"That, among other things. Even kissing isn't allowed on school grounds." Rose pursed her lips, then continued eating her spaghetti. "Of course, the administration can't control what happens outside of the school."

Rey looked from Rose to Finn, then back to Rose again, lifting a finger to point between the two. "Have you two ever…had sex?"

"Okay, this is getting awkward," Finn said, raising his hands. Then, he turned and waved at someone. "Oh, look Rose. It's your sister and her friends. Hey, guys!"

Rey turned to the direction where Finn was waving and found three older students making their way towards them. One of them, Rey assumed, was Rose's sister. The other girl was blonde with her hair up in a bun. Then there was the only boy in the group, a tanned, dark-haired young man with twinkling eyes and an arresting smile that made Rey squirm in her seat.

"Hey, Finn." Rose's sister reached over to bump fists with Finn. "You taking care of my little sister right?"

Finn puffed up his chest. "Yes, ma'am."

"You better. Or else I'll break both your legs," Rose's sister chuckled, then turned towards Rey. "I see you guys made a new friend."

"Yes." Rose leaned over excitedly. "Rey, this is my sister, Paige Tico. Paige, this is Reynabelle Snoke. Rey for short. She's the stepdaughter of Benjamin Solo."

"Mom and Dad's boss? Sweet," Paige declared, beaming at Rey. Rey smiled back and held out her hand, which seemed to surprise Paige but she took it anyway. She then gestured at her blonde friend. "This is Kaydel Ko Connix."

"Hi," Kaydel said in disinterested tone. Rey tried holding out her hand to her, but the girl wouldn't take it, prompting Rey to withdraw her hand self-consciously.

"And this is Poe Dameron." Paige pointed to the boy in the group. "The three of us are juniors here."

"Hello, Rey." Poe stepped forward, and much to Rey's surprise, took her hand and kissed her knuckle. "It's an absolute pleasure to meet you."

"Oh, stop it, Poe." Kaydel rolled her eyes. "She's just a kid."

"Yeah? So are we. We're not eighteen yet," Poe protested, though by his wide smile, Rey surmised that he was just humoring Kaydel.

"You'd fuck anything that moves," Kaydel grumbled and looked away with a pout. Rey almost gasped when she heard the curse word. She'd only ever heard it spoken one time by their chef, when he cut himself cooking. Ben had given her a stern talking after she repeated it in front of him.

"Oh, Kaydel. I'm hurt." Poe dramatically put a hand over his chest. "Come on. It's all in the past. It's a fresh new year. Why not let bygones be bygones?"

"Don't mind them," Rose whispered to Rey. "They used to be boyfriend and girlfriend."

Rey nodded, understanding and yet at the same time not. She realized then that she still had a lot to learn especially in traversing the complexities of relationships.

"Anyway," Poe turned back to Rey when Kaydel refused to speak to him, "Reynabelle Snoke, huh? Any chance you're related to Annabelle Snoke?"

Rey's eyes widened. She had never had a relative stranger mention Annabelle before. "Yes. She was my mother. How did you know?"

"Ha! I knew it." Poe practically pumped his fist in the air. "She was a good friend of my parents before they divorced and she continued to be friends with my dad after that."

"Really?" Rey raised her eyebrows. After all the whispers she had heard about Annabelle, she couldn't imagine her being a good friend to anyone.

Poe nodded, and there was something unreadable in his eyes when he stared at Rey. "My dad and I were even at her funeral. I was seven at the time. I think I remember you. You were holding on to your father's hand and he left you before the burial was finished." He paused for a moment, before adding gently, "I remember because I couldn't get the image of you chasing after him out of my head."

Rey felt a blush rise up her cheeks at the way Poe looked and spoke to her. There was something soft about it, but dangerous at the same time. She couldn't understand the way he was making her feel at the moment. Or perhaps she was just feeling this way because he had brought back one of her earliest childhood memories—the first of many instances wherein Ben pushed her away, and she suddenly felt a bout of sadness wash over her.

"A shared history. Great," Kaydel groaned from beside him.

"Don't be jealous, Kaydel," Poe chided with a laugh. "We have shared history too. Besides, how often do I meet someone from my past? I call that Fate."

"I call it coincidence," Kaydel retorted, then threw her hands in the air. "Enough of this. Let's just go."

"Alright." Paige turned towards the younger students with a smile. "We'll see you guys around."

"Sure. Bye!" Rose and Finn waved as the older students moved towards the cafeteria's exit. Rey raised a hand in a wave as well, her face flushing when she saw Poe turn to give her one last wink before disappearing at the doorway.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** So Rey makes friends after all. There are still good people in the world (^_^) We also now of course, include some new cast of characters in the mix. Let's see how they interact in future installments.

Also, if you're too shy to put in reviews, feel free to shoot me a private message and I will keep our conversation in confidence. I just like to know if I'm writing for an audience. Thank you as well for the first review this fic ever had. You know who you are ;)

This fic is also available in AO3 if you're more comfortable there. Just search for the user secretreylo and you should be able to find me there

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters


	9. Chapter 9: Messages

**Author's Notes:** Keeping it short and sweet this time.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters

* * *

He was in the dining room. After what felt like weeks of having to dine in his study in order to stay away from Rey, Ben was finally eating in the dining room, the sounds of utensils against the plate seeming to echo throughout its walls.

Classical music wafted as it always did from an old gramophone they had at the corner of the room. He found it enjoyable to dine with soft music playing, and Rey did too, even though she never said as much whenever they ate together. But he could just tell by the way she swayed her head to the tune, sometimes humming along with it, that she shared his same taste for finer music.

Only, Rey wasn't here. The chair beside him was empty, the room devoid of any presence except his own and the occasional comings and goings of Threepio as he served the different courses.

One more glance at the empty chair, and Ben puts his knife and fork down before wiping his lips with a napkin. He was suddenly no longer hungry.

Leaving his plate half full, Ben stood up from the long table and wandered aimlessly throughout the manor—through the hallways and the foyer, his eyes on the crystal chandelier above as he made his way up the great stairs, only tearing his gaze away from the sparkling crystals when he arrived at the hall which led to the rooms.

He told himself that he was going to his room; maybe do some light reading while having a nightcap before heading to bed. But his feet led him elsewhere—to the room across his, and as if it had a mind of its own, his hand reached for the knob to open the door.

The creaking sounds of the opening door reverberated through the hall as he swung it open. He switched on the lights, revealing the pastel-hued room filled with laces, frills and silk, with teddy bears, dolls and dollhouses.

His mind wandered back to what had happened earlier—how happy Rey had been with the new dollhouse he gave her. How she had looked at him with such adoration, and when he saw the way her eyes darted to his lips, he'd had the inexplicable urge to kiss her.

He shook his head off the memory, only to be assailed by the next one—the warmth of her cheek against his stomach, the tightness of her embrace as she gave him the first hug he'd ever received from her; and if it hadn't been for the presence of Amilyn Holdo, he might have pulled Rey into his arms and returned the embrace tenfold.

He groaned and dragged a palm across his face. He'd sent her away to curb his want of her; but instead he was longing for her—longing for her company, the sound of her voice, the sight of her smiling face. It was like he was having withdrawals and Rey was the drug.

Whatever happened to the time when he saw her as nothing but a shackle—a promise made to a dying woman? A reminder of his shattered heart? Since when did Rey become more than just his ward?

An alert noise interrupted his musings. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he felt his heart leap to his throat when he saw the message notification.

 **Rey**  
 _Ben?_

His mind instantly running emergency scenarios in his head, he quickly texted back.

 **Ben** _  
Yes, Rey? Is something wrong?_

 **Rey**  
 _Can I text you even if it's not an emergency?_

Ben's shoulders relaxed, and he walked further inside the room to sit on the edge of the pink bed.

 **Ben** _  
Yes, of course. What is it?_

Rey's replies were slow, and Ben imagined she was still struggling with texting. But he was patient.

 **Rey**  
 _I made some friends today._

That was a relief.

 **Ben** _  
I knew you would. What are their names?_

The next reply was a selfie of Rey with her two new friends, and Ben had to smile despite himself. She was learning her way through her phone.

 **Rey**  
 _This is Rose Tico and Finn Wolff. They introduced me to others too. Juniors. Paige Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix and Poe Dameron._

 **Ben** _  
Tico. Sounds familiar._

Dameron sounded familiar too, but he couldn't put his finger on why.

 **Rey** _  
Rose said her parents work for the company._

 **Ben** _  
Yes, now I remember. The Ticos are hardworking people. You would do well to be friends with her._

 **Rey** _  
Also Poe says Mother was friends with his dad. They were even at her funeral. Do you know the Damerons?_

Dameron. Dameron. Why was the name so familiar? Annabelle had so many so-called 'friends' that it was hard to keep up.

He decided to answer truthfully.

 **Ben** _  
I don't recall._

Then, he hesitated for a moment before firing his next message.

 **Ben** _  
How are you Rey?_

 **Rey** _  
I'm doing fine. I still feel I was overdressed. People looked at me funny and they were whispering about me._

That made Ben chew on his lower lip.

 **Ben** _  
Don't worry. You'll get your uniform next week._

 **Rey** _  
I know. At least Rose likes my dress. She thinks it makes me look like a Lolita._

Ben swallowed. Over the years, Rey had fallen in love with Victorian porcelain dolls and loved dressing up like them. He hadn't protested to it, and even encouraged it to the point of having dresses custom made for her and her room furnished like a dollhouse. It made her look pure and innocent—like a delicate flower yet to be in full bloom; like an angel without wings; everything her mother wasn't. But now that she was being described as Lolita, he felt as if his vision of her innocence was being tarnished.

Despite his distance, he had done everything he could to keep her in a child-like state, but he knew the rose bud was slowly blossoming, and he feared it. Feared the power its beauty might hold on him. He had already fallen under that spell once...

Shaking away from his thoughts, Ben crafted a reply.

 **Ben** _  
That's not a very nice term._ _Lolita is a highly inappropriate book._

 **Rey** _  
Why do you have it in the library then?_

That gave Ben a pause. He had to give the girl credit for being sharp.

 **Ben** _  
It's a classic. I like to collect classics. Besides, that book isn't suitable for children._

 **Rey** _  
When do I get to read it?_

 **Ben** _  
When you're older._

 **Rey** _  
I am a day older today than I was yesterday :)_

Ben blinked. Did Rey's just make her first attempt at a joke with him?

 **Ben** _  
Very funny, Rey. But no._

He stopped for a moment, then quickly fired another text message before she could reply.

 **Ben** _  
How are your classes?_

The next minute had Rey updating Ben on her classes, how it wasn't so hard and how her teachers were very accommodating. Ben, in turn, told her about his workload, all the reports he had to do and the meetings he went through and it was only after he had sent the message that he started to worry.

 **Ben**  
 _Sorry. I'm probably boring you with work talk._

 **Rey** _  
No, not at all. You never tell me these things when we're together. It's nice to hear you talk about work. Or at least read about it through text._

Ben didn't know how to respond to that. It was true. He never talked to her about work. Their conversations had mostly been about her health and studies, at least up until recently, when things started to change for them…

Another message notification chimed in.

 **Rey** _  
I miss home._

Ben sighed.

 **Ben** _  
I know you do. That's why I got you that dollhouse, remember?_

 **Rey** _  
I wish I could shrink myself so I can fit in the dollhouse._

 **Ben** _  
You don't have to. In a few days, you'll be back home._

 **Rey** _  
Will you be home when I get there?_

Ben's fingers hovered over the screen, the replies in his head ranging from 'yes', to 'no' to 'maybe'. But one option won out, and he texted:

 **Ben** _  
Does it matter?_

He hit send, and instantly regretted it. He felt disgusted with himself. He sounded petulant, almost like a needy child wanting validation. He was about to try and steer to another subject when Rey replied.

 **Rey** _  
Yes, it does, Ben. It always has._

He stared at the message for what seemed like a full minute, and he felt the twinge in his heart bloom to a pleasant ache that warmed him all over.

It mattered, she said. It always had.

 **Ben** _  
I'll be here when you get home._

 **Rey** _  
I'm glad :) I'll see you on Friday_

 **Ben** _  
See you then._

* * *

Rey smiled from ear to ear as she lay on her bed, scrolling through the first text exchange she had ever had with Ben. It was probably one of the longest conversations they had ever had too, and it felt as if Ben was an entirely different person over the phone that she had to wonder if it was really him at the other end.

Or did she dare hope that he had somehow changed? That he had finally warmed up and opened up to her? It was probably foolish to hope especially after his years of being distant towards her, but it was a hope she was starting to hold on to, and she couldn't see herself letting go.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Told you it was short and sweet ;)

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters


	10. Chapter 10: Miscommunication

**Author's Notes:** It's a long-ish update, almost 3000 words and I hope you enjoy reading this chapter just as I enjoyed writing it :)

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters

* * *

A few days passed by without much fanfare. Rey had taken to having lunch with Rose and Finn every day, liking them more and more as she got to know them. Poe would join them at times, though his attention would mostly be on Rey, talking to her as if Rose and Finn didn't exist. Sometimes, Rey would notice Kaydel in the background, glaring daggers her way but Poe had since told her not to mind, and Rey tried not to, albeit with some difficulty.

That day, Poe once again joined them for lunch but Rey's concentration was on her phone as she scrolled up to read the previous messages she had exchanged with Ben that morning. They had been swapping more text messages as of late, mostly exchanging pleasantries and asking after each other, though Rey did send the occasional selfie (Rose had taught her that word). In fact, just this morning, she had sent Ben a photo of her outfit for the day—a white, high-collared long-sleeved blouse underneath a blue sundress with pink vintage flower patterns. A pink ribbon wound its way around her slim waist, and on her feet she wore knee high socks and black Mary Jane's.

 **Ben** _  
Why don't you wear a pink ribbon in your hair?_

 **Rey** _  
I don't know. Don't you think that would be a little much?_

 **Ben** _  
I think it will look better on you._

And that was all it took for Rey to add the pink ribbon, a delicate bow resting atop her head. She had quickly taken another selfie and sent it over.

 **Rey** _  
There. Happy?_

 **Ben** _  
:)_

 **Rey** _  
Why don't you send me what you're wearing?_

It had taken a while for Ben to reply, and when he did, it was a snapshot of himself in his usual suit and tie. He had several of course in various shades, though Rey noticed he had a preference for blacks and dark greys.

 **Ben** _  
I wear practically the same thing to work every day. I don't know why you would want to see it._

 **Rey** _  
It's only fair. I show you mine, you show me yours._

Ben hadn't replied after that, which Rey found strange because he usually replied immediately, and she wondered if she had texted something wrong. Perhaps he was just busy with work, she had reasoned, but that didn't stop her from pouring over her messages, trying to discern if she had indeed texted the wrong thing.

A sigh rang from beside her, and she looked up from her phone to see Poe with an exasperated look on his face. "I wish I were a smart phone. Maybe then _somebody_ will notice me."

"What?" Rey's brows furrowed, and when she saw Rose and Finn stare at her with the same look of exasperation, she said, "What's wrong?"

"Rey, you've been looking at your phone since lunch started," Finn pointed out. "You barely even touched your food."

"Oh, sorry." Rey reluctantly put her phone on the table. "It's my stepfather. He usually texts back immediately. He hasn't since this morning. I'm worried I might have texted something wrong."

"Let me see." Rose grabbed her phone before she could protest. One look at the screen, and the girl's eyes widened in shock. After a moment, Rose quietly said, "Rey...you do know what your last message to him meant, right?"

"You mean 'I show you mine, you show me yours'?" Rey said, and instantly, Poe spit out his drink while Finn choked on his hamburger. "What? What did I say?"

"Seriously?" Poe sputtered, then looked at Rey in disbelief. "You don't know what it means? What kind of rock were you living under?"

"Oh, give her a break, Poe," Rose protested and handed Rey back her phone. "You already know she was homeschooled all her life. She's new to all this."

"Okay, sorry." Poe held up his hands as if it would keep Rose's anger at bay. "You want me to explain to her?"

"No, I'll do it." Rose straightened herself in her seat. "Rey... 'I show you mine, you show me yours' is a game kids play when they...show each other their private parts."

"You basically asked your stepfather to show you his penis," Poe chimed in, earning a screech from Rose.

"Poe!"

"What? I'm just saying."

Rose and Poe began to argue, but Rey could barely hear them. She was too mortified to concentrate on anything other than the fact that she may have just asked Ben for a photo of his...his...

"Oh my God," she finally cried out while frantically checking the settings of her phone. "I...I didn't mean to! I just wanted us to swap photos of what we're wearing. Is there a way to unsend a message?"

"Not unless you have a certain app, and even then you usually only have a limited time to unsend." Finn shook his head. "Sorry, Rey."

"What do I do?" Rey was growing more frantic. Oh, what would Ben think of her? "Do I apologize, or..."

"Sweetie, calm down." Rose put a gentle hand on hers. "These things happen. Why don't you take a deep breath?" Rey did as she was told. "That's it. Now, just relax and pretend you never texted him that."

"How can I pretend when it's right there?" Rey showed her phone, the offending message still glaring from the screen.

"If you pretend it didn't happen, maybe he will too," Rose explained, her brows rising in such a way that told Rey the girl had an idea. "I know. Why don't you send him a photo of what you're eating? Just to be casual about things? Don't mention your previous text. And say something cute."

"O-okay." Rey nodded and did as Rose had suggested, taking a photo of her salad and sending it to Ben with the message, ' _eating grass like a cow'_. She showed the message to Rose, who nodded in approval.

Rey almost dropped her phone when the message notification dinged. She immediately checked the text.

"Is it your stepfather?" Rose asked eagerly, leaning forward to try and see. "What did he say?"

Rey's shoulders relaxed. "He just sent me a photo of his steak. He says _'eating cow like a human being'_." She laughed then, part from relief, part from genuinely finding the text funny. She didn't realize Ben had such a sense of humor.

She looked at the picture again and paused. It was shot in such a way that told Rey that Ben was trying to be discreet. He didn't hover the phone over his food to take the picture, but it was taken at an angle, showing everything in the background including the person dining with Ben—a rather attractive woman with platinum blonde hair and wearing the reddest lipstick Rey had ever seen.

She felt her teeth clench together, and she fired back a message.

 **Rey** _  
Who's that with you?_

 **Ben** _  
Denise Phasma, a good friend._

"Rey? What's wrong this time?" Finn looked at her quizzically. "Why are you pouting like that?"

"Hmm?" Rey looked up at Finn for a moment before staring at her phone again. "It's nothing. My stepfather's having lunch with Denise Phasma."

"Denise Phasma?!" Rose squealed and grabbed Rey's phone again, her jaw dropping when she saw the picture. "Oh my God, it _is_ her!"

"Who is she?" Rey tried to keep her voice casual.

"She's the COO of Hux & Son Technologies," Rose informed, excitement clear in her voice. "She was in Forbes once too."

"Didn't she used to be a model?" Poe recalled.

Rose nodded. "She was in Vogue, yes. She's so beautiful! Hey, Rey, do you think your stepfather's dating her?"

"I...don't know..." Rey swallowed as she took the phone from Rose and stared at the photo again. It looked like they were in some fancy restaurant, and Phasma was certainly dressed to kill in a glittering silver dress.

Then, an idea wormed its way into her head. Something told her it was a bad idea, but it had latched on to her and wouldn't let go.

Turning to Poe, she said, "Hey, Poe. How about taking a selfie with me?"

"Huh? Really?" Poe's tanned cheeks colored, a smile quickly forming on his lips. "Uh, sure, Rey."

Rey turned so she was shoulder to shoulder with Poe, her head close to his cheek. She held out her phone to prepare for the photo, smiling as she did when Poe suddenly put his arm around her just as she snapped a shot. Awkwardly, she extricated herself from him, gave him a small 'thanks' before sending the photo to Ben.

 **Rey** _  
Having lunch with Poe Dameron._

With a self-satisfied smile on her face, Rey put her phone down and began digging in to her salad in earnest.

It wasn't long before she received a reply.

 **Ben** _  
Rey, I thought we agreed no boys._

Rey stopped eating and composed her response.

 **Rey** _  
You said no boys in my room. We're not in my room. We're in the cafeteria._

 **Ben** _  
It doesn't matter. I don't want you dating at your age._

 **Rey** _  
Poe and I are not dating._

 **Ben** _  
Then why did you let him put his arm around you? That's not how proper little girls are supposed to behave._

Something seemed to snap inside Rey, and she began typing furiously on her phone.

 **Rey** _  
I'm not a little girl anymore, Ben. I'm almost fourteen._

Ben's reply was swift.

 **Ben** _  
Are you talking back to me, young lady?_

He was angry. She could tell. But so was she, and it overrode any semblance of reason she still had.

 **Rey** _  
Stop calling me that. I'm not a child._

 **Ben** _  
Then stop acting like one._

It was a curt reply, and Rey found herself shaking with a sudden bout of rage.

 **Rey** _  
You want me to stop acting like a child? Fine, I will._

 **Ben** _  
Fine._

Rey practically slammed her phone down the table. She was angry—a feeling so foreign to her, she wasn't sure what to do with herself.

"You okay, Rey?" Finn asked. He looked more than a little troubled. "You seem really pissed."

Rey didn't answer. She couldn't. Not when she was still seething. She had never been angry with Ben before, and for some reason, she grew even more furious when she remembered his photo with Denise Phasma.

"You look cute when you're angry," Poe remarked, and Rey turned to glare at him. It only made his smile widen even more.

"I'm not cute," she said with a growl.

"No, you're not," Poe agreed, then rested his jaw on his palm and added, "Cute isn't enough to describe you. You're gorgeous, Rey."

That gave Rey a pause. Poe didn't sound like he was mocking her. In fact, he sounded serious. Almost dreamy even, and she felt her fiery anger dissipate into a shy warmth as she looked away.

"Eww," Finn stated.

"Barf," Rose followed before turning to Rey again. "So, what was that all about?"

Rey sighed deeply. She wasn't sure how to explain the text exchange she had with Ben, so she decided to put it simply. "My stepfather treats me like a child and I...I want to show him I'm not."

"You can start by doing a wardrobe makeover," Poe suggested, and everyone in the table including Rey turned towards him. "It's a start isn't it?"

"I actually think that's a good idea." Rose nodded in agreement, then put her finger and her thumb against her chin as she eyed Rey's clothes. "You dress your age and maybe he will look at you differently."

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" Rey asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Nothing. If you live in like 1910," Rose said, not unkindly. "Rey, you know I love your wardrobe. I even want them for myself, but you really should wear more age-appropriate clothes."

"I know." Rey let out a deep breath. "I told Ben that, but he said it won't matter anyway since we'll be wearing uniforms soon."

"You're still going home on weekends, right?" Rose's eyes were sparkling mischievously. "Wouldn't it be great if you came home wearing new clothes? I bet it'll shock him into finally seeing you as a young adult."

Rey thought about it for a moment. She was liking the idea more and more, but there was a problem. "How do I get new clothes? I mean, Ben gave me a credit card to use on extra school expenses, but the school isn't selling casual clothes as far as I'm aware."

"We could go to the mall," Finn suggested. "Our classes end at 3:30. The mall is less than 15 minutes away. We could go there and have you back in your dorm room before your curfew."

"Yes, but we're not allowed off school grounds on weekdays," Rose reminded him. "And we need to get Rey those new clothes before Friday."

"I can get you off school grounds."

Once again, everyone turned to Poe, who had a sly look on his face. "I've done it before. Other students do it all the time. You guys in?

Rey exchanged glances with Rose and Finn. This could be dangerous, she thought. They could get in trouble. But as she thought back to Ben's text messages, only two words came to mind.

"We're in."

* * *

"Benjamin?"

"Hmm?" Ben looked up from his phone, half-surprised to find Denise Phasma sitting across from him. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had almost forgotten she was there. "I'm sorry. You were saying?"

Phasma's red lips tightened a little but she appeared too poised to show annoyance. "I was just telling you about the time Hux's cat bit my leg. It's a funny story, actually. There I was, going in to report, when suddenly, this ball of orange fur came running towards me and..."

Phasma's words went in one ear and out the other. Ben just kept nodding even though his mind was elsewhere, in particular to that one image attachment in his message inbox.

Rey, smiling, as Poe Dameron put his arm around her.

He felt his teeth clench again in much the same way it did when he first saw the image, his thoughts so focused on it that he actually forgot Rey's earlier embarrassing misstep of a text message.

He should have known this, should have anticipated that boys would take notice of her, but he didn't expect it to happen this soon.

Most of all, he didn't anticipate how he himself would react—the darkening of his vision, the curling of his fingers into fists, the gnashing of his teeth.

Phasma continued to talk, and he continued his pretense of listening.

Dameron. That name had nagged at him ever since Rey mentioned it but now he wouldn't be able to forget it. How close were they? Had she already allowed him to kiss her? Touch her the way he had all those many nights ago?

His face instantly reddened at the memories he thought he had long since buried. Events that had directly led to his sending Rey to a boarding school, and now to her being with that boy. It had all been _his_ fault. _He_ had touched her. Led her to explore herself. Sent her away. And most foolish of all, he had opened a line of communication between them and allowed her into his life despite all his plans to stay far away.

In the end, he couldn't stay away...

"Benjamin, did you hear me?" Phasma's voice finally broke through the haze of his thoughts.

"Oh, forgive me, Denise, I..." he tried to think back to the conversation at hand and managed to glean a few details. "...yes, Hux's cat. Did you manage to get your shots?"

Phasma only stared at him, and it took a few beats before she spoke again. "Benjamin...you really haven't listened to a word I said."

"I'm sorry," Ben apologized again, eyeing his phone, almost willing it to chime but it didn't. "It's just my stepdaughter. She's acting out. What was it you were saying again?"

Phasma's lips tightened into a fine line. "I said, this isn't working out, you and I."

Ben leaned back in his seat, staring as Phasma began to gather her purse. "But...but why? I thought we've been having a wonderful time together."

"The past few days have been wonderful," Phasma affirmed before adding, "Unless of course you count the times when you brood and talk about your stepdaughter and her boarding school shenanigans, which is like all the time." Then, her hard features slowly softened. "Look. I appreciate your efforts in trying to rekindle our romance, but a lot has changed in five years. _You_ have changed. You have a lot more responsibilities now and I'm looking for someone more carefree."

Slowly and gracefully, Phasma stood up from her chair. "I wish you all the best, Benjamin. And I do hope that you're able to sort things out with your stepdaughter. Farewell."

And with that, Phasma left the restaurant, finally leaving Ben alone with his ever darkening thoughts.

If Ben felt anything about her departure, it was a strange mixture of both regret and relief. Phasma was a good woman. They had parted amicably five years ago, and he thought that maybe, just maybe he could start anew with her, just as Rey seemed to be starting fresh with her own life.

And yet...

Grabbing his phone again, he scrolled up the messages and enlarged Rey and Poe's picture, feeling as if a knife was twisting at his heart. It was not unlike what he had felt when he witnessed Annabelle's betrayal...only, he had no right to feel betrayed.

No right at all...

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** So, we've got a little friction between Ben and Rey now. Will they be able to resolve it? We're going to have to wait to find out. Please do read and review, or if you're too shy, send me a private message. This fic is also available in AO3 if you're more comfortable with that platform.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of it characters


	11. Chapter 11: Encounter

**Author's Notes: L** et's pretend I know anything about boarding schools LOL but in this universe, the rules are different. I actually had to look up Quora to see how students usually get in and out of the school campus and I settled on one answer. You'll see what I mean when you read it. Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Rey had imagined their flight from school to be this adventurous caper, a grand escape like in some of the books she had read. Instead, it had involved simply signing in and out of a logbook and notifying their respective homeroom teachers about their plans to go out of campus and setting a 7pm curfew.

It was anticlimactic, really.

"The way you were bragging made it seem like it was Mission Impossible," Rose spoke up from the backseat of Poe's car, where she was squeezed in between Rey and Finn. "I thought it was going to be an adventure going out."

"I wasn't bragging," Poe said from behind the wheel of his Mustang, looking through the rear view mirror so he could see his younger passengers. "And quit complaining. I got you guys out, didn't I? You should count yourself lucky I have a car too."

"Thanks, Poe," Rey said, and she saw him flash a winning smile through the rear view mirror.

"Well, at least Rey appreciates me."

Rey smiled back before peering out the window, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. It hadn't taken them long to get downtown, and she found herself ogling at the tall skyscrapers, the lines of shops, and the bustling streets. She had never been to the city before, and it was a lot to take in.

"See that building over there?" Rose pointed to a particularly tall building with blue-tinted windows. "That's where the offices of Solo Shipping Enterprises are. My parents are there now. Your stepfather probably is, too."

Rey could only nod. She really didn't want to think about Ben right now especially in light of their recent text exchange. He hadn't texted back, and neither had she. It wasn't that she was still angry. In fact, she had actually calmed down, but she could still feel the sting from their argument. She wondered how in the world they were going to mend it. Should she make the first move? After all, she did send that selfie with Poe which started it all.

"We're here," Finn announced as the car made a turn. Rey stared out to see a four story rectangular building, its large windows plastered with shop signs, some with neon lights.

Poe parked the car in the mall parking lot and quickly stepped out of the vehicle to open the door for his passengers, but it was only to Rey that he offered his hand in assistance. Rey took it as she disembarked, and she thought she could feel Poe tremble a little.

"Okay." Poe let go of her hand. "Now that we're here, where do we start?"

"We'll just go to the boutiques." Rose reached out for Rey's hand and threaded it in the crook of her arm. "You guys can go play videogames or something. We'll text you when we're done."

"Aw, but I wanna see Rey model some new clothes," Poe whined.

"No way." Rose shook her head vehemently. "This is a girls' thing. Come on, Rey!"

Rey allowed Rose to drag her towards the mall, up the steps and into the entrance. And what she saw inside left her breathless: shops upon shops selling various items, from clothes to toys, jewelry to food, shoes to sports equipment. Everything was so colorful and bright as to attract attention, and Rose had to pull her further inside lest she just spend the entire trip gawking at her surroundings.

They started with shoes first, with Rey changing from her Mary Jane's to fit into a pair of sneakers and sandals. Rose also had her try on a pair of high-heeled shoes just for fun, though the fun lasted about as long as it took for Rey to maintain her balance, which wasn't very long.

Rey ended up buying two pairs of sneakers and sandals before they headed to the boutiques to try on blouses and skirts. These were more in line with her tastes, although Rose had a tendency to bring her some rather short skirts.

"You're sure this is okay?" Rey asked, emerging from the dressing room and turning around for Rose. She had on a long-sleeved baby pink cashmere sweater and a red pleated tartan skirt that was about two inches above her knees. "I feel a bit underdressed. The skirt's too short."

"Better than being overdressed," Rose reminded, tugging the hem of the skirt down a little. "Besides, it's not that short. You have nice long legs, so you gotta flaunt it!"

Rey stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't vain by any stretch of the imagination, but even she had to admit that Rose was right.

After ringing in purchases for blouses, sweaters and different skirts of varying lengths, Rose then dragged Rey to the department store and into the section selling jeans, shorts and t-shirts.

"I don't think so," Rey said while Rose rummaged through a rack of pants. "Jeans aren't...me."

"We're trying to bring out a whole new you, remember?" Rose took out a couple of jeans and a few shorts before moving to another rack to pick out some t-shirts. Rey followed behind, shopping bags in tow. "Besides, these will go well with your sneakers. Here." Rose piled the clothes in Rey's arms and took the shopping bags from her. "Let's head to the dressing room."

The department store dressing room had a total of six stalls, three on either side of the room, with a curtain covering the entrance of each stall. It didn't appear as if anyone else was in the room as of the moment, and Rey quickly entered the closest stall on the right.

As with earlier, she had some difficulty getting out of her dress, but as soon as she did, she was able to try on one article of clothing after the other, mixing and matching until she found a few combinations to her liking, though she knew she would have to ask Rose if what she chose was fashionable.

She was about to step out of the stall when she heard whispers from outside.

"Finn! What are you doing here?"

"Shhh! I got away from Poe. No one's in here, right?"

"Rey's in there and..."

The whispers died down, and what came next were peculiar sounds. Sounds Rey had never heard before. Curious, she took a peek from behind the curtain and nearly gasped when she saw Rose and Finn locked in a passionate embrace, their lips melding into one another as Finn's hand slowly slid down from Rose's cheek and down to cup her relatively ample breast through her shirt.

Rey's cheeks reddened, and she was suddenly taken back to the time when she herself had been touched that way. She hadn't thought about that night in so long, but the feeling was certainly coming back now, making her heart race the way it did when Ben had engulfed her small breasts with his large hands, kneading gently while brushing his fingertips against her nipples.

She continued to watch. She really should turn away but she found herself fascinated. There was something gentle about their movements, but frantic too, as if they couldn't get enough of each other. And when she saw Rose slip her tongue between Finn's parted lips, it was all she could do to muffle a squeak.

She tore her eyes from the scene and stepped away from the curtain so fast that she almost lost her balance. On instinct, she grabbed hold of one of the jeans she had hung on the hook to steady herself, causing a racket in the process.

The peculiar sounds, which Rey now realized were the sounds of kissing and muffled moaning stopped, and Rose called to her from outside. "R-Rey! Are you alright in there?"

"I...I'm fine," Rey called back and straightened herself. "I'm coming out!"

Rey waited a moment, hoping to give Rose and Finn some time to compose themselves before she opened the curtain and stepped out, only to find Rose alone. And if it wasn't for the fact that Rose's face was flushed, she would've thought nothing had happened at all.

In the end, Rey decided she was going to pretend she didn't see anything. "How do I look?"

"G-Great!" Rose stammered, eyeing her up and down, before frowning. "Uh, Rey, where's your bra?"

"I don't have one," Rey said, which made Rose's eyes grow wide. "I don't need them yet. My breasts are still too small."

"What do you mean you don't need them?" Rose asked incredulously and gestured at her chest. "I can see your nipples through that shirt. You can poke an eye out with those things. Now come on. It's lingerie next."

Rey picked out a few of the clothes she liked and had Rose approve them before she went to the cashier. After getting her purchases, she followed Rose to an escalator, though she needed a bit of help getting on and not just because she was carrying a lot of shopping bags.

"I can't believe you don't even have a training bra," Rose muttered as they went from one rack of bras to the next before Rose picked out a few smaller bras and held it up against Rey's chest. "Here. I think these should fit you. Why don't you try them on in the dressing room?"

Rey took the bras but hesitated as she thought back to what had happened earlier. "And where will you be while I'm in there?"

"I'll just be outside with the bags." Rose grabbed the bags from Rey and pointed to the nearby dressing room with her head. "Go."

Rey looked at Rose suspiciously, but the girl only smiled. Letting out a breath, Rey entered one of the stalls and once more began the process of stripping, this time to the waist. She was about to take one of the bras when she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

Her eyes moved down to the mounds on her chest. Was it her, or had her breasts actually grown bigger? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was still relatively flat compared to Rose, but there's an undeniable shape to her breasts now...

An image of Ben's hand cupping her breast flashed before her eyes and she shook her head vigorously. Why was she thinking of these things? It must be because of what she had witnessed earlier between Rose and Finn. Brought back memories and feelings she thought she had forgotten.

Blushing furiously, she began fitting one bra after the next, struggling with clasps and straps until she finally narrowed the selection down to some choice items. She quickly dressed up again and stepped out of the stall, but Rose was nowhere to be found.

"Rose?" Rey craned her neck to see through the racks and the heads of other customers but her height left a lot to be desired, and Rose wasn't a tall girl herself. "Rose, where are you?"

Rey returned some of the bras to their respective racks and hung her choices over her arm as she walked through the department store calling for her friend. She grew a little incensed that Rose may have run off somewhere with Finn again, and she began calling louder for the girl. "Rose, where are—"

She bumped into someone hard, the bras she was carrying falling to the floor. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I—"

She froze. The person—the tall, old man she had bumped into was staring at her. But it wasn't that which caused her to become still as a statue. It was the fact that she recognized those eyes—those striking blue eyes that seemed to bore into her soul, and that misshapen, jagged scar that cut through his face.

Rey couldn't look away this time; could barely even breathe as the man knelt down, took the bras that she had dropped on the floor by their hangers and handed the items back to her.

She gingerly took back the bras, held them to her chest and muttered 'thanks'. She was about to turn away when the man said, "I remember you. You're from Raddus Hall, aren't you?"

The old man's voice was gruff, but Rey sensed he was trying to be gentle, and so she relaxed. Aside from the frightening scar, he didn't look like he was a murderer or anything. In fact, he was smartly dressed in a business suit underneath a trench coat, a fedora on his bald head.

"Yes, I'm from Raddus Hall," Rey admitted. "And I think I saw you there. From the headmistress's office."

"Yes, I had business with Amilyn Holdo." The old man's smile was crooked, if not a little menacing, though it relieved Rey to learn they had a common acquaintance. "And what is your name, young lady?"

"Reynabelle," Rey answered, and the man's eyes seemed to twinkle.

"Beautiful name. How did you come by it?"

"I was named after my mother. Her name was Annabelle."

This time, a shadow clouded over the man's eyes, even as his smile grew wider. He reached out his gloved hand to shake. "Hello, Reynabelle. My name is—"

"Get away from her, you creep!"

Startled, Rey turned to the direction of the voice and saw Poe Dameron taking long strides towards them before moving in front of Rey to shield her from the man, who had stood up to his great height. "Just who do you think you are, mister? I should call security on you!"

"Poe..." Rey tugged at the sleeve of Poe's jacket but he wouldn't look at her.

"I'm sorry," the old man stated, his voice flat. "There seems to be a misunderstanding—"

"You can understand the end of my fists if you don't leave now," Poe growled. Rey looked around and saw that they were attracting the attention of other customers. The old man must have seen it too, because he simply turned around and left, but not before tipping his hat to Rey.

It wasn't until the old man disappeared through an exit that Poe turned around to face her. "What the hell where you thinking, Rey? You don't go around talking to strangers like that!"

"B-But...he knows the headmistress," Rey protested shakily, scared by Poe's outburst. "And I've seen him before in school and—"

"It doesn't matter," Poe said with a shake of the head. "There are a lot of creeps in this city. You ought to be more careful. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't showed up." Poe grew quiet for a moment before adding softly, "I don't think I would be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

Rey looked up in surprise at Poe's warm brown eyes. There it was again. His sincerity with words, and she could feel the blood pounding in her ears. "Poe, I..."

"There you are!" Rose called, and Rey turned to see her running towards them with the shopping bags, Finn following close behind. "I went back to the dressing room and you weren't there. Oh, hi Poe."

"Where were you two?" Poe's voice was stern, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Rose and Finn. "Rey almost got taken by an old creep. Were you two too busy sucking face somewhere to notice your friend being approached by some weirdo?"

Rey saw Rose and Finn's faces turn bright red. "Rose and I were just—"

Poe held up a hand. "You know what? I don't even want to know. Now come on. We got to head back or else we'll miss the curfew."

Rey nodded, and after paying for her last purchase, silently followed her friends back to Poe's car.

She didn't know it, but somewhere nearby was the same old man from earlier, watching her closely from behind the tinted windows of a black Porsche.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Added just a little spice and a little reminder for you guys that something did happen between Ben and Rey that will reshape their relationship forever. And the things Rey witnessed in this chapter would definitely have an effect on her psyche.

Three guesses who the creepy old man is :)

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters


	12. Chapter 12: Bases

**Author's Notes:** This is a direct continuation of what happened in the previous chapter. Not much going on here except Rey does learn a few more things. Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Rey, Rose, Finn and Poe made their way to the dormitories, each carrying a shopping bag or two. There was very little chatter between them, as Poe still seemed more than a little annoyed. In fact, the drive back to Raddus Hall had been quite subdued, and Rey was eager to get back to her room, if only to break the awkward atmosphere surrounding them.

"This is my room," Rey declared when they reached her door and began taking the shopping bags off the boys' hands. "I'm not allowed boys in my room so I'm afraid this is goodbye for now. Thank you Finn. And thank you, Poe, for the ride...and for earlier."

Poe winked at her, and she felt a pleasant shiver roll down her spine. "Anytime, Rey."

"I'll stay with Rey for a little while," Rose volunteered, her arms full of shopping bags. "Got to help her sort these. Go ahead, Finn. I'll catch up with you in the cafeteria."

After one last goodbye, the boys headed back down the halls, leaving Rey and Rose alone with the purchases. Rey unlocked the door and headed directly for the bed, where she gently placed the shopping bags on the mattress and Rose followed suit, but not before vocally admiring Rey's room.

"You're so lucky to have your own room, Rey." Rose moved around the room in circles. "And with your own bathroom too. I share my room with another freshman girl and we only use the communal showers. I would've liked to room with Paige, but we're not allowed to share a room with older students even if we're related."

"My stepfather wants to minimize my exposure to other people," Rey explained as she began sorting out her new clothes. "I'm quite sickly, you see. That's why I was homeschooled up until recently."

"Really? I didn't know that." Rose was quiet for a moment. "Maybe getting you outside wasn't such a good idea then."

"No, it's fine. My doctors have given me the all clear to go to school." Rey gave Rose a reassuring smile. "A little trip to the city shouldn't be a bother."

"You tell me though if you feel off, okay?" Rose said, folding the new clothes alongside Rey. "We can get you to the clinic to have you checked."

"I'm fine, Rose I…" Rey paused and held up an article of clothing she didn't remember picking out. "What's this?"

Rose's smile was positively devious. "You like it? It's called a chemise. It's an adult sleepwear. And don't worry, it's on me. I purchased it before I went looking for you."

"Isn't it a bit too…" Rey struggled to find the word as she held the red silk garment against her body, "...scandalous?"

"Rey, if I wanted to get you something scandalous, I would have gotten you a negligee," Rose chuckled. "Besides, it's just for when you sleep. Not like anyone's going to see you in it."

"My stepfather might," Rey said, and when she saw Rose's eyes widen, she added, "He comes in to check up on me whenever I'm sick."

"Then don't wear it when you're sick," Rose advised, folding the last of the clothes and putting them in Rey's dresser. "Wear it for when you want to feel sexy. When you want to feel more adult."

Rey still wasn't so sure about the chemise, but she was going to have to trust Rose on this. The girl knew more than she did after all. "Okay, Rose. Thank you."

"No problem." Rose stepped away from the dresser, put her fists on her hips and looked around the room once more. "You're room is really something, Rey. It almost feels like I stepped inside a dollhouse."

That perked Rey up. "Speaking of which, I want to show you something." She led Rose to a corner of the room where her dollhouse was and knelt down to open it. "This is a replica of Alderaan Manor. It's the house where I grew up in."

"A house with a name? Sweet!" Rose exclaimed, kneeling down beside Rey.

"My stepfather had this made for me so I wouldn't miss home so much. And look." Rey took two dolls from the house and held them up to Rose. "The dolls even resemble everyone in the house."

"Is that supposed to be you?" Rose pointed at one of the dolls in Rey's hands. "Looks just like you. And I'm assuming that other doll is your stepfather?"

"Yes."

"It's a good likeness. Good looking too, just like him."

"He...he is." Rey stared at the Ben doll in her hands, realizing just how eerily similar it was to how he looked in real life, even down to the little moles on his face. Shaking away thoughts of Ben, she looked up at Rose once more and offered, "Would you like to play?"

"Why not?" Rose smiled and took the Maz Kanata doll from the kitchen. "I haven't played with one of these in ages."

Rey and Rose spent the next half hour playing with the dollhouse, drumming up amusing scenarios between characters and rearranging furniture, all the while talking about almost anything, though Rose did most of the talking. Rey didn't mind. She liked listening to other people talk. It made her feel less alone.

Then Rose began talking about Finn in earnest, how she had a crush on him ever since his family moved next door, so when he asked her out, she had immediately said yes.

"We've only been dating a couple of months. And no, we haven't had sex yet," Rose said as a reminder to one of the questions Rey had put forth when they first had lunch together. "We're still too young to go all the way, but we've gone through first and second base."

Rey didn't know what Rose meant at all, but she didn't want to appear stupid either. "You mean...you played baseball right?"

"Baseball?!" Rose declared before laughing herself almost to tears. "Oh man, you are so innocent."

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm so innocent," Rey huffed.

"I'm sorry Rey, I really didn't mean to laugh at you." Rose wiped a tear away before getting a hold of herself. "First base means kissing. Second base means copping a feel here." She pointed at her breast.

"You mean like in the dressing room?" Rey blurted out, and watched as Rose fell into stunned silence. She hadn't meant to say that aloud, but since she already did, she might as well admit to what she saw, she thought. "I...saw you and Finn in the dressing room."

"Please don't tell my sister," Rose begged. "She'll tell my parents and they would have my skin. And then I won't get to see Finn again."

Rey stared at Rose's pleading eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I won't. I promise I won't."

"Oh, thank you, Rey. Thank you."

Rey smiled. She had every intention of dropping the subject but her curiosity nagged at her. "So...does it feel good when Finn touches your breasts?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah, it does. But that's about how far I would go for now. And who calls them breasts nowadays? They're called boobs." She contemplated for a bit, then said, "Let me guess. You've never even had your first kiss, huh?"

"No," Rey admitted. "I want my first kiss to be at my wedding. Like the princesses in fairy tales"

Rose smiled but didn't laugh this time. "That's nice, Rey. But you know, life isn't a fairy tale. You gotta have a bit more experience under your belt if you're going to survive out here."

Rey felt herself grow a little defensive. "I have experience. I've had my brea...er...boobs touched before."

"Yeah?" Rose was obviously incredulous. "By whom?"

"My s...boyfriend."

Rose raised an eyebrow and Rey did her best to keep her face impassive. She wasn't sure why she lied. All she knew was that she suddenly felt the need to protect Ben. He had been so ashamed of touching her to the point of practically begging her to forget about it. But she couldn't. Not when there were so many reminders of that night, even though they had never discussed what had happened between them.

"Your boyfriend?" Rose repeated, crossing her arms over her chest. "I thought you didn't have one."

"Yes, I do," Rey insisted. "We...went to second base. It felt good."

"But you never kissed?"

"No."

Rose let out a breath. "Rey, you're supposed to kiss first before you get to second base. If he doesn't kiss you, I suggest you just dump his ass. All he probably wants from you is to get in your pants."

"Get in my...pants?" Rey echoed, not sure she understood.

"You know." Rose gestured with her hands. When Rey still didn't understand, she said, "Sex. He wants sex."

Rey stilled. Everything she had known about sex up until then, from the book she had read, to what she had been told and what she had heard all came to a clash. So touching like that led to sex? Did that mean that...Ben...wanted to...

Rey cleared her throat and tried to phrase her question as carefully as she could without revealing her innermost thoughts. "You're saying...Finn...also wants sex with you?"

"Of course he does," Rose said as if it were the surest thing in the world. "He's a boy. All boys want to have sex. But us girls, we hold the power. We can say yes, but we can always say no. Then again some boys won't take no for an answer, at which point you can kick him between his legs. Pow, right in the balls!"

Rose had said this with such enthusiasm, even punching the air with a fist but Rey didn't respond. She was suddenly more confused than ever, and if Rose hadn't continued to prod her with a question, she probably would've continued to stare at the Ben and Rey dolls still in her trembling hands.

"So what's he like? This boyfriend of yours?"

"Boyfriend?" Rey faltered for a moment. "Oh…he's…tall."

"Uh-huh," Rose nodded, eyes fixed on Rey's face. "What else?"

Rey continued to describe her fictional boyfriend: long dark hair...intense brown eyes...full lips...well-built physique...

Rose's gaze flickered to the dolls in Rey's hands before remarking, "Sounds to me like you're describing your stepfather."

"I...I am?" Rey was startled. She had not really thought things through when she started describing.

"Rey, be honest with me." Rose put a gentle hand on hers, and Rey felt a sense of dread. "There really isn't any boyfriend and there was no second base was there?"

She blinked at Rose.

"Rey, it's okay," Rose continued when Rey didn't speak. "It's okay not to have experience and not to know these things. I'm sorry for laughing earlier. I'm not going to do that again."

Rey pressed her lips together. It was in that moment that she decided to continue with a lie. It was far less complicated than the truth. "You're right. I've never had a boyfriend. And I've never been kissed or touched."

"And there's nothing wrong with that." Rose's smile turned into a smirk. "I'm sure Poe wouldn't mind."

Rey tilted her head. "Poe?"

"Isn't it obvious? Poe is in to you, Rey." Rose rolled her eyes. "He likes you. Like, really likes you."

"Is that a good thing?" Rey asked unsurely.

"Are you kidding? Poe's one of the most popular guys in school," Rose exclaimed. "You snag him for a boyfriend and you're set for life. Although, according to Paige, he's pretty infamous for a string of broken hearts, including Kaydel's. She can get very jealous. I'd still be careful, but he seems to genuinely care about you."

Rey grew quiet once more. It was already confusing to be confronted with the fact that Ben could possibly...want her that way, but now to include Poe liking her? It was all too much information for her to process all at once.

Knocks reverberated from the door, and Rey breathed out a sigh of relief. The interruption couldn't have come at a better time.

"That would be my dinner." Rey rose to her feet, as did Rose. "You've been great company, Rose, but I think Finn's already waited long enough for you."

"Okay." Rose leaned over to give Rey a tight hug, which she returned. "I'll see myself out. Thanks for having me!"

And with that, Rose exited the room, leaving Rey to ponder on everything the girl had said.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** To those already expecting to see Ben's reaction to Rey's clothes, sorry to disappoint you, but I promise that that's coming. I'm still outlining that chapter though so it may take a while before I post it. It used to be that I'm two or three chapters ahead but so many things have happened in my personal life that I haven't had time to sit down and write ahead of time, so as mentioned, the next update might take a while. But I still hope you guys will continue to be along with me for the ride.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters


	13. Chapter 13: Release

**Author's Notes:** Please be reminded of the nature of this fic (extreme underage). If you're uncomfortable, skip this fic altogether. There's underage sexual stuff in this chapter. You have been warned

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Time passed by seemingly in the blink of an eye, and now, it was Thursday night—the night before she was to return to Alderaan Manor, and Rey couldn't be more excited. Her new clothes were packed and ready, and she had certainly made a splash with her friends earlier when she debuted her new t-shirt and jeans. Poe seemed particularly pleased with the results, praising how she looked to the point of making her feel embarrassed. The only person who hadn't seemed pleased was Kaydel, who continued to brood in the sidelines while Poe and the others showered Rey with compliments.

The clock ticked past the hour of nine, but Rey was yet to feel sleepy. So excited was she to go home that she spent most of her after dinner hours kneeling before her dollhouse and playing with its inhabitants. She thought of how much she missed home, even how much she missed Ben. He hadn't texted her since their spat yesterday, and she didn't know how to make amends even if she wanted to. Oh, she'd tried to compose a text message or two, but nothing felt right and so she had ended up deleting the messages before she could send them.

Rey sighed and took the Ben and Rey dolls from their respective rooms, staring at them in wonderment. The artisan who made the dollhouse as well as the dolls themselves must've been very skilled to bring out such likeness and articulation in the dolls, she thought. They were so lifelike to the point of being eerie, but she grew to appreciate the effort Ben took just to ensure she didn't feel too homesick.

Ben...he always did look out for her in his own way...

Lost in her memories, Rey quietly positioned the dolls in such a way that the Ben doll was sitting on Rey doll's bed, Ben doll's hands touching Rey doll's chest.

Rey bit her lip, her heart pounding as she watched the doll scene before her; only, it wasn't just any scene. It had actually happened—an event she now realized had altered her in ways she was yet to comprehend. She and Ben had never talked about it. If Ben were to have his say, he would rather forget about it. But she couldn't. Not when there were too many reminders of what had happened that night.

Breathing heavily, she rose from the floor and hurried to lock the door before moving towards her dresser mirror. She was still in one of her long cotton nightgowns—the kind Rose called 'granny nightgowns'—because she was yet to muster the courage to wear the chemise. But it didn't matter because soon, she was discarding the nightgown and letting it fall to the floor, leaving her naked in front of the mirror save for a pair of flower-patterned panties.

Once again, she remembered the way Ben had touched her that night. They were at odds now, but for some reason, she couldn't stop reliving how she had felt when he brought his palms to her breasts, how good it had felt to have his fingertips caress her nipples, and soon she was doing the same, touching herself in much the same way she had in front of her mirror at home before Ben had unexpectedly barged in.

Only this time, there would be no one to barge in. She was perfectly alone in her dormitory room. She was free to do whatever she wanted.

Rey moaned as particularly delicious feelings rolled down her spine and down to her center, making her squeeze her thighs together. She could feel heat and wetness pool between her legs, and not for the first time, she wondered what it could be. She hadn't had the chance to check back when it had first happened. She would now.

Removing a hand from her breast, she dipped her fingers into her underwear, gathered some of the wetness before lifting her hand in front of her face, only to find her digits coated in something clear and slimy. It didn't appear as though she had peed herself. It certainly smelled different—heady, a bit musky.

A tiny bit of panic sank in through the haze of her pleasure. Was this a precursor to a period? Was she sick? Or was this something else entirely?

Her phone rang before she could think further, and she quickly wiped her wet hand with her discarded nightgown before hurrying to the bed where her phone was.

She felt her heart lurch to her throat when she saw who was calling.

Ben.

She lay down on the bed, and after the third ring, answered the call. "Hello, Ben?"

"Rey..." came Ben's baritone, a little unsteady, a little unsure. "You haven't texted me since yesterday. Are you still mad at me?"

"I...no," Rey answered truthfully, and in that moment, decided to make the first move towards making amends. "I'm sorry Ben. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It was very disrespectful. I hope you'll forgive me."

"No, I'm sorry," Ben insisted, his voice slurring to the point that Rey took notice. "You're right. You're not a little girl anymore and I shouldn't be treating you like you are. I just...hic...don't want you to grow up too fast."

"Ben...have you been drinking?" Rey ventured.

"Just a bit."

Ah, Rey thought. That explained why he had gained the courage to call, and it disappointed her somewhat that he couldn't speak to her sober. "It sounds like you drank more than just a bit. You shouldn't drink too much Ben. It's bad for you."

"Well, look at you, looking out for your old man now," Ben chuckled. Rey could hear the tinkling of ice against glass and the loud gulping down of liquid from the other end of the line. "Seems you've really grown up."

"You're not that old," Rey said gently.

"Compared to you, I am." Ben took another loud gulp and followed it with a belch. "How are you doing, Rey? Any...hic...health issues I should know about?"

Rey chewed on her lower lip as her eyes darted towards her panties. She could still feel it there, the slippery wetness, and she wasn't sure what compelled her to come clean, but she did. "There is something. There's...some sort of slimy and clear fluid coming out of my...from between my legs. Am I sick or is this part of my period?"

"Wait. You're saying you're wet?"

"Yes. Yes, I am wet."

Ben was quiet for a long moment before he groaned.

"Ben?" Rey asked worriedly.

"Be honest with me Rey." There was something in Ben's tone of voice; no longer slurred, but almost commanding that made the hair on Rey's arm stand on end. "Have you been touching yourself?"

She didn't answer. Not immediately, before she finally admitted, "Yes."

"Where?" Ben pursued, his baritone seeming to grow deeper still.

"My...my breasts," Rey stammered, her voice tiny, cowering almost from the power in Ben's voice.

"Uh-huh," Ben mumbled, and she could almost see him nod. "And did you touch yourself down there?"

"I did but only to check why I was so wet."

There was silence before Ben gulped, seemingly from another glass of liquor. "Does it tingle down there?"

"Yes."

Another moment of silence. Another loud gulp before Ben spoke again. "I'm going to help you through this Rey, and you're going to do exactly as I say. Put me on speaker."

It wasn't a request. It was an order, and one Rey instinctively followed. Once on speaker, she put her phone beside her on the pillow. She could hear Ben groaning and grunting, as though he was doing something that took effort.

"Ben?"

"Are you lying down in bed?"

"Yes."

"What are you wearing?"

"Just my panties."

Another groan from Ben. "Take them off."

"I'm sorry?" Rey wasn't sure she heard him right.

"I said, take your panties off," Ben repeated, more firmly this time. "You want me to help you don't you?"

"Y-Yes, Ben," Rey stammered, though she still wasn't sure what he was trying to help her with. But for some reason, all this made her tingle and squirm even more. "I took them off. Now what?"

"Spread your legs."

Another command. With a moment's hesitation, Rey spread her legs, the cool air hitting the warmth of her center, and she was unable to stop a moan from escaping her lips.

"That's it." Ben seemed to have grown breathless, little gasps echoing from the speaker of the phone. "Now put a finger down there between the slit and see if you can find a fleshy nub."

Rey did as she was told, sliding a hand down her body and to the apex of her thighs, searching for whatever it was that Ben wanted her to find. "I'm not sure I can find...oh. Oh!"

"Found it huh?" Ben cooed from the phone. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Y-Yes. Yes it does," Rey stuttered, her eyes widening with amazement at the feeling elicited from touching the bead of flesh hidden between her slippery folds. She had never known such a thing existed; that such pleasure could be felt, and it sent her body keening for more.

"That's your clit. It's supposed to feel good when you touch it," Ben explained breathily. "Try rolling your finger around it and find a spot that feels best."

Rey obeyed, and quickly found a spot that sent even more electrifying signals throughout her body. "Oh. Oh!"

"Yes, that's it, baby girl," Ben encouraged, still breathless, still grunting with effort. "Rub yourself for me."

She should be mad at him for calling her baby girl. But she wasn't. If anything, it heightened whatever it was she was feeling, even more so when she heard him moan along with her through the speakers. She couldn't imagine what he was doing, but at the same time she was too lost in her own pleasure to care.

"Ben...I'm getting...wetter..."

"That's normal, baby girl. Your body's just releasing pleasure juices because you feel so good."

Pleasure? Was this wetness from feeling all these overwhelmingly pleasurable sensations throughout her body? She didn't have the time or even the mental fortitude to ponder on it. She was soaring to heights she had never been to as she continued to rub her clit with abandon, seeking something, needing something.

And then it dawned on her. Ben. She needed Ben. Needed his strong arms around her, needed the warmth of his flesh against her own, needed him to fill the emptiness she didn't know she had.

"Ben...oh, Ben..."

"Yes, baby girl, yes, fuck yes, you're doing awesome sweetheart."

The endearments, the cursing, the praise, the grunting...it was all going to her head, making her lightheaded. She was close. Close to something she couldn't describe, and she began moaning louder as she rubbed her clit in earnest.

"Oh God, Rey, you sound fucking amazing," Ben spoke in between breaths and gasps. "Don't stop, baby girl, don't ever stop."

She didn't. She couldn't even if she wanted to. She was no longer in control of her own body, the desire overwhelming her senses that all she could do was seek out that something...that thing that would bring this all to an end, and all of a sudden, she could feel tremors start to run through her.

"Something..." she breathed out, barely able to form the words, "...something's happening..."

"Just let it happen," Ben crooned, and in a deep, raspy voice, said, "Cum, baby girl. Cum for me. Cum for Daddy."

She didn't understand what he meant by cum, but the urgency in his voice, the moans of pleasure coming from his end, and the fact that he had called himself 'Daddy' all led to an avalanche of feeling that engulfed her entire form, sending electricity running up and down her spine until it all exploded within her, sending her screaming into the night, back arching, toes curling, the fingers of her free hand curling around the sheets.

It took a moment for her to come down from her high, and when the last waves of euphoria ebbed away, Rey fell back on her pillows, chest heaving with heavy breaths, sweat beading on her forehead as she stared at the ceiling, unable to comprehend what had just happened. It was exhilarating. It was exciting. It was...out of this world.

"Wow..." she breathed. "That was...amazing, Ben."

She waited for a response, a reply, anything, but got nothing. She turned to look at her phone and found that the call had already ended.

Quickly, she grabbed the phone and dialed Ben's number.

The call went straight to voicemail.


	14. Chapter 14: Aftermath

**Author's** **Notes:** Warning for underage sexual content

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

"Something's...different about you today."

Rey looked at Rose in surprise as they walked towards the parking lot with their luggage. School was already out for the week and it was time to go home for the weekend.

"I don't know what you mean," Rey said, a little too quickly.

Rose eyed her suspiciously. "For one thing, you seem a lot happier today. For another, you've been texting a lot. Does that mean you patched things up with your stepfather?"

Rey shrugged and smiled. "You can say that."

"So what happened?" Rose pressed on, poking Rey's arm. "Come on, give me the details!"

Rey thought about it. She had been contemplating on asking Rose, but she couldn't figure out how to without revealing too much. Whatever happened between her and Ben over the phone last night...that seemed far too intimate to share with anyone, even with Rose. "There's really nothing to tell. He called last night to apologize. That's it."

"Well that's good, I guess." Rose nodded, then looked at her from head to toe. "You dressed up for your stepfather, huh? He's going to have a heart attack when he sees you in that little skirt. For that matter, so would Poe if he saw you."

Rey only smiled. Poe was so far from her thoughts that she barely even noticed that he wasn't with them for lunch. Her thoughts were filled only with Ben, and his deep voice as he told her how to touch herself, encouraged and guided her into the most wonderful feeling she had ever known.

She squeezed her thighs together. She was getting wet just thinking about it...just thinking about the possibilities especially now that she was going home to him.

"Girls!"

"Speak of the devil," Rose muttered as she and Rey turned to the direction of the voice and found Poe running towards them. "Poe. Where have you been all day?"

"Kaydel and Paige were sulking because I don't spend as much time with them anymore," Poe explained haltingly as he tried to catch his breath. He then turned to Rey, eyed her up and down and whistled. "Wow, Rey...you look stunning."

"Thanks," Rey said shyly. Her friends had been peppering her with compliments ever since she changed her wardrobe and she still wasn't sure how to accept them especially from Poe.

"What are you doing here, Poe?" Rose asked. "I would've thought you'd gone home by now."

"I just needed to talk to Rey for a moment," Poe said, and turned to Rey again, flashing her a winning smile. "So Rey...I was wondering if you were free this weekend? I know you haven't gone out much, and I'd love to take you around some of my favorite spots. It'll be fun!"

"I...uhm..." Rey's eyes darted behind Poe, where she could see Rose nodding vigorously. "I...sorry, Poe. But I'd like to spend time with my stepfather. I haven't seen him all week. Maybe next time."

Poe seemed flabbergasted, as though he had never experienced being turned down before, but in the end he took it rather well, Rey thought. "Oh, okay. You have my number. Text me when you're available, alright?"

"Sure," Rey promised, and with that, Poe said his goodbye to the girls, gave one last wink to Rey before scampering away and disappearing back into school grounds.

Once he was gone, Rose jabbed Rey in the arm. "I can't believe you turned down a date with Poe freaking Dameron!"

"A date?" Rey blinked. "I thought it was just an invitation to drive somewhere?"

"Rey, he was asking you out." Rose was practically pulling hair off her head. "You wasted a golden opportunity! Is spending time with your stepfather really that important when you have Poe Dameron asking you for a weekend date?"

Rey thought about it for a moment, or rather pretended to think about it. The answer was clear to her in a way that it would never be to Rose.

"Yes," she said with a smile while discreetly squeezing her thighs together again, "My stepfather's more important than Poe Dameron."

* * *

Ben looked out of the large window of his study, his eyes trained on the wrought iron gates of Alderaan Manor, waiting for the Mercedes Benz to come through. It was Friday afternoon—a day he had been anticipating all week but now dreaded because of what occurred not even 24 hours ago.

His phone vibrated, and he took it out of his pocket to stare at the next message that had just come in. He had set his calls to go straight to voicemail, calling back and responding only to the important ones.

He did not answer any of the calls or texts from Rey. She had sent him a total of three voicemails and a few text messages, which included:

 **Rey**  
 _Last night was great :) Call me._

 **Rey**  
 _Can't stop thinking about you. Call me :)_

 **Rey**  
 _Rose said I'm pretty happy today. I didn't tell her, but I have every reason to be. Call me :)_

 **Rey**  
 _I'm guessing you're busy at work. I'll just see you when I get home. Can't wait!_

 **Rey**  
 _Artoo's here. I'm coming home :)_

 **Rey**  
 _We're close. Can't wait to see you!_

That last message was sent not even a minute ago. Ben put his phone back in his pocket, turned away from the window and sat heavily on his office chair, side eying the half empty decanter of bourbon still on his desk.

He lowered his head and buried his face in his palms. He had made a mistake. A huge one. He had only drunk in order to muster the courage to call and apologize, to smooth things out between him and Rey. But what had happened was something else entirely.

He shut his eyes tight. The details were still hazy to him, obscured by the fog of his then inebriated brain, but he'd sobered up almost immediately after he had his release. He'd shut off his phone then, praying that it had all been a dream but the evidence was all there—his nakedness as he lay on his bed, the flaccid cock in his hand, the cum splattered across his stomach.

There was no denying it. He'd come on to Rey. Come on to her hard the moment she admitted to being wet—to being aroused; to touching herself. He'd become delirious with lust then; so blinded by his apparent desire for her that he had ordered her to strip and taught her how to please herself. And she had liked it. Oh God, she had liked it. Even with the haze of the bourbon and the now dulling headache it had caused, he could still remember her moans—her little erotic mewls, her breathless whispers and gasps as he stroked his cock to climax, all the while trying to imagine what her cute little pussy would look and feel like riding up and down his length, coating it with her juices.

He cursed. He was getting hard just thinking about it, and he quickly tried to steer his thoughts away but it was no use. Her screams when she had orgasmed was permanently etched in his brain, echoing throughout his entire being. He had half a mind to just hide away in his study or lock himself up in his room, but he couldn't. He had promised her he would be waiting for her when she got home, and he was a man of his word. He had even rushed home from work to make sure he was there before she was. To hide now would be cowardice, just as him ending the call after they had both reached climax was cowardice. He had to face the consequences of his actions and he had to face them head on.

He heard rather than saw the Benz coming in through the gates. He stood up from his chair, combed back his long black hair with his fingers, straightened his gray shirt and walked out of the study in long strides, reaching the front door just as the car pulled up in front of the house.

He clasped his hands in front of him, hoping his erection from his earlier thoughts wasn't too obvious from his trousers. In silence, he watched as Artoo exited the car and opened the passenger side door, fully expecting Rey to disembark, in all the laces and frills of whatever dress she decided to wear for the day.

Instead, what emerged from the car was a girl in a white cashmere sweater with a cowl neckline, a red pleated tartan skirt that showed far too much skin, shin-length white socks and red sneakers, her chestnut hair combed to one side and falling over her shoulder. It wasn't until she looked up that Ben recognized her.

Rey.

His hands unconsciously unclasped and hung on his sides as he gaped at the girl, who no longer appeared to be the same little girl in a doll dress he had dropped off at Raddus Hall only days before. This girl...this girl was more woman than girl, though not quite an adult yet. There was still a semblance of youth to her, though something told Ben that more things had changed for her beyond her appearance.

He wasn't sure what to make of the transformation. It was so sudden, so drastic as to render him speechless. He didn't even notice Artoo passing by and entering the house, luggage in tow.

Rey stared back at him for a long moment before the widest of smiles radiated from her lips, and she suddenly ran towards him and jumped into his arms, her skinny legs locked around his waist, and he'd had to quickly hold her to keep her from falling.

"I've missed you, Ben," she whispered into his neck, and he felt a pleasant tingle roll down his spine.

It felt good.

No, it felt _too_ good.

It felt too good to have her warm breath against his skin; felt too good to have her weight in his arms. Every part of him was screaming of the danger of being this close to her, but there was something so powerful there, so potent that he couldn't bring himself to let go. Like drug to an addict, he couldn't let go.

He closed his eyes and took in the scent of her, his lips brushing against the side of her neck. Rey started breathing heavily and clawing at his hair, seeming to press the exposed skin of her neck to his lips.

All rational thought lost, Ben parted his lips and planted a kiss on Rey's throat, darting his tongue out to have his first taste of her skin. She tasted of salt and sweat. Sweetness and desire. And when she let out a muffled, breathy moan into his ear, it was all he could do to keep himself from tearing her clothes off and having his way with her on that porch.

"Reynabelle!"

Ben quickly set Rey down, practically dropping her back on the porch before he turned to face Maz Kanata, who was walking briskly towards them from the foyer. He clasped his hands in front of him once more, trying to hide the tent in his pants as a feeling of dread washed over him. Did Maz see him...nuzzling against Rey?

"Maz!" Rey ran towards the old servant and gave her a big hug, and by the way Maz smiled, it seemed she hadn't seen anything after all.

Relief made Ben's shoulders sag, and he watched as Rey talked to Maz, giggling as she told the old woman about her days in school. She was acting so cheerful, that for a second, Ben wondered if they had actually just shared an intimate moment by the front door. But when he saw the way Rey constantly darted her eyes towards him and smiled, he just knew it was real. It had happened.

He'd lost control again. He always seemed to lately whenever he was around her, but this time it was different. They'd crossed a line the night before and there seemed to be no way of going back.

But he had to. He had to go back to the way things were. For both their sakes. The question was, how?

He coughed to gain the attention of the ladies in the foyer. "Maz, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to have a word with Rey. In private."

"Yes, sir," Maz seemed a little disappointed at the interruption, but Rey was just the opposite. She was positively brimming with excitement as she hurried back to Ben's side and threaded her arm through his, rubbing her cheek against his sleeve like a kitten. Ben stiffened. She was being too obvious, and Maz was only too quick to point it out. "My, my, look at you two. Why, I'd never imagine I'd see you two so close."

"A lot can happen in a week," Rey explained, still smiling.

The dread from earlier returned full force. Fearing Rey might inadvertently reveal something, Ben decided to change the subject. "You look...different, Rey. What happened to your dresses?"

"They're in the laundry bag. This is what I wear now." Rey gestured to her clothes with one hand, the other still threaded through Ben's arm. "Dresses are for little girls. I'm not a little girl anymore, am I, Ben?"

Ben stared back at her. He wasn't sure whether she was challenging him or asking him for validation. Either way, he knew the answer to both. And he had no one to blame except himself.

"No, Rey," he said, almost in a pained tone. "You're not a little girl anymore."

If Rey noticed the hurt in his voice, she didn't let on. If anything, she just took what he said at face value and was all the more happy for it.

"Come," she said, tugging at Ben's arm. "Let's go to my room. We can talk there."

Ben allowed himself to be dragged upstairs and to the hallways leading to the bedrooms, his mind in complete turmoil. His sensible side was saying this would be the perfect time for him to talk to Rey in private, to apologize for his behavior the previous night and to make things right between them. The other side of him thought of this as an opportunity to be alone with her. Period. No disturbances. No interruptions. Just the two of them free to indulge themselves.

And one side was winning.

Rey pulled Ben into her room and closed the door. He heard her lock it, and it hit him right there and then how much privacy they had.

They could do whatever they wanted.

He turned to face Rey, only to find her bounding towards him and jumping into his arms again, giggling when he almost lost his balance. Holding her tight, he backed up until the back of his leg hit the side of the bed, and he sat down on the mattress, bringing Rey down with him, her legs still wrapped around his waist, her short skirt hiking up her hips.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Ben," Rey said in a breathless whisper, her arms around his neck, her eyes practically sparkling. "Last night was just...amazing."

"Rey...about last night..." The words died in Ben's throat when Rey began planting open-mouthed kisses to his neck, mimicking what he had done to her earlier at the front door. He could feel her tongue against his skin, and he felt himself grow raging hard.

Whatever rational thought he had left flew out the window. On impulse, he dragged down her neckline to expose her shoulder to him, peppering it with kisses and licks, all the while wrapping his arms around her, holding her tiny body against his massive one. And when he felt her grind against his erection, he swore he saw stars.

"Ben...oh, Ben..."

"Rey..."

Ben put both hands on Rey's ass and pulled her hard against the bulge in his crotch, thrusting upwards to garner some friction. Rey stopped kissing his neck and threw her head back to moan, and he moved his lips from her shoulder to her throat, all the while rocking against her.

God, this felt far better than he could ever imagine. He hadn't been this intimate with anyone in years. Even his recent rendezvous with Phasma had only resulted in three dates before things could progress. But this? What he was doing with Rey? It was progressing at break neck speed, like fire doused with gasoline, and he was powerless to stop it.

He pulled back and watched Rey grind herself on his lap, watched as her mouth hung open with her moans, watched as her hazel eyes bore into his, glazed and a little unfocused. He was getting dizzy with want, and soon, he moved his hand from her ass to slip inside her cashmere sweater, his face contorting a little with irritation when he realized she was wearing a training bra. He slipped his hand beneath the bra's band and palmed her bare breast, a little surprised to find that she had grown a little since he touched her last.

That seemed like such a long time ago...

Three knocks reverberated from the door, and Ben froze as did Rey.

"Reynabelle, dinner's ready!" Maz called from outside the room.

"I'll be there in a minute," Rey called back, still not getting off of Ben. "I'm...I'm just unpacking."

"Alright."

Ben strained to hear as Maz's footsteps echoed down the hallway before finally fading away down the hall. Certain that she was gone, he let out a sigh of relief, the cloud from their unbridled passion at last giving way to a clearer head.

That was when he became fully aware of his surroundings—the fluffy bed they were sitting on with the frills and pink sheets, the dolls and stuff toys on the shelves staring at him as if in accusation...this was not the room of a woman grown, but that of a child. Rey was still a child, and yet he had thrust her further into a world she was far too young to understand.

"Ben?" He felt her small hands frame his face, making him tear his eyes away from the room to look at her; Rey, with her now tousled hair, flushed face and dishevelled clothes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he said calmly, even as his mind was in the midst of a storm. Slowly, he extricated himself from her until they were sitting side by side on the bed. "You go to the dining room now. I'll...I'll follow later."

"Okay..." Rey said, uncertainty clear in her voice. Still, she slid off the bed, straightened herself and planted a kiss on Ben's cheek before walking out the door, leaving him to mull over everything that had transpired between them, his fingers touching the spot where Rey's kiss still lingered.

* * *

 **Author's** **Notes:** If you want to read the more updated version, check out my AO3. Just search for my username secretreylo. Also follow me on tumblr at secretreylo

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters


	15. Chapter 15: Restrained

**Author's Notes:** Warning for underage sexual themes

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Ben didn't show up for dinner. Rey had waited and waited until her soup got cold before Threepio came in with the news that Ben was to eat in his study because of work.

Disappointed, she ate alone and without much enthusiasm, not even bothering with dessert, which was usually her favorite part of the meal. She barely finished her dinner when she decided to leave for the study, hoping to at least be around Ben while he worked. Surely, in light of what they had shared earlier, he wouldn't mind her company, she thought.

She walked up the great steps of the manor and headed straight for his study, knocking twice before announcing herself. "Ben, it's me. Can I come in?"

No response. She tried to open the door and was surprised to find it locked. She had never known Ben to lock the study before.

" _Perhaps he's in his room,"_ Rey thought, and walked towards the hallway leading to their bedrooms. Once again, she knocked and announced herself, jiggling the door knob but she received no response. His bedroom door was locked too.

Miffed and more than a bit concerned, she headed for her bedroom and texted him, waiting for his reply while she put on the red chemise Rose had gotten her. Now was a good time as any to wear it. Perhaps she'll have a chance to show it to Ben, she thought with a blush.

She lay on her bed and waited for a reply. When five minutes passed resulting in nothing, she decided to call, only to have it lead straight to voicemail.

Rey put her phone on the nightstand, now more than a little frustrated. It was a feeling not unlike the times when Ben had avoided her, though why he would do so now after they had shared so much was beyond her.

Her phone's message notification dinged, and she immediately grabbed her phone, only to have her hopes dashed. It was only Poe, sending a selfie of himself eating some Cheetos.

She scrolled up to Poe's previous text messages. He had only recently begun texting her, though his messages mostly contained either selfies or cat memes.

Having nothing else better to do, she decided to fire back a message.

 _ **Rey**_ _  
Not in the mood for Cheetos tonight._

Poe was quick to reply.

 _ **Poe Dameron  
**_ _Oh? What are you in the mood for?_

 _ **Rey**_ _  
In the mood for company. My stepfather seems to have disappeared on me._

 _ **Poe Dameron  
**_ _Does that mean you'll take me up on my offer to drive you someplace? :)_

Rey chewed on her lip for a bit before sending a response.

 _ **Rey**_ _  
Maybe._

 _ **Poe Dameron  
**_ _Great! Text me your address and I'll be there ASAP_

 _ **Rey**_ _  
I didn't mean now. I'm already in my nightgown._

 _ **Poe Dameron  
**_ _Oooh sexy ;)_

Rey rolled her eyes and put her phone on the nightstand again. She wasn't going to bother replying to that. What was it with boys and what girls were wearing anyway?

With a sigh, Rey turned to her side and stared at nothing in particular, her mind wandering to everything that had happened earlier that day. She remembered being so excited at seeing Alderaan Manor again, especially when she saw Ben standing at the porch, waiting for her just as he had said he would. She had barely hesitated before jumping into his arms, and it had felt good to be held by him. Felt good to have his lips on her skin, even better to have him run his tongue against her neck. It had felt so good that when they had finally gotten a chance to be alone, she had jumped into his arms again, hoping to repeat the experience and ended up getting so much more.

She moaned when she recalled the way he had kissed her shoulder, how fiercely he had held her in his arms, and most of all, how hard he had felt rubbing against her panties. She knew what it was. From her anatomy book, it was called an erection. She knew its purpose, and it had scared her for a split second before the thrill of it overwhelmed her, and she even recalled ruing the fact that they were separated from each other by their clothes.

Rey's breathing became uneven as she slowly lowered her hand between her legs, slipping it inside her cotton panties until she found the fleshy nub of her clit. Sex. She had wanted to have sex for the first time that day, when Ben rocked himself against her. Had wanted it so badly, that if Maz hadn't interrupted them, she felt sure she would have surrendered herself to Ben.

She rolled her finger around her clit, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be full of his penis. Would it hurt? Would it feel good? It had to feel good, right? Sex felt good according to Maz, which was why her mother had lots of it...

Rey shook her head of thoughts of Annabelle, but it had gained a foothold and now she couldn't rid herself of the image of her mother and Ben doing it. How could she even compete with someone as experienced as her? She'd never be able to satisfy Ben. Not with what pitifully little she knew.

Groaning in annoyance, Rey took her hand out of her panties and turned to stare at the ceiling. She was never going to reach that peak feeling of euphoria again. Not without Ben's help. And he was nowhere to be found, which added further to her frustration. Where in the world was he? Was he hiding from her again? If so, why?

Huffing, she reached over for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it off. If she couldn't find release for her frustrations, she might as well sleep it off.

Sleep would be a hard-won prize that night, and it took another hour more for her eyes to start drooping.

Then, she heard knocking on her door.

"Rey? Can I come in?"

It was Ben. She was about to stand when she remembered how he'd left her to dine alone and had her searching the house for him. Well, two can play that game, she thought, as she lay on her side with her back towards the door, the covers held up to her chin. She wasn't going to bother standing up to open the door for him. Not after what he had her go through.

Then, she heard him open the door and she cursed herself inwardly. She should have locked it, she thought, as she watched him cast a shadow on her wall, the shadow disappearing when he closed the door.

The room was dark once more, illuminated only by the full moonlight streaming in from the window. She heard Ben shuffle more than walk towards her bed, and she closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.

The shuffling noises stopped, and she just knew he was standing on the side of her bed. For the longest time, all he seemed to do was stand there, until she felt the bed shift with his weight.

"Rey..." She felt his presence loom over from behind her, and she could smell the bourbon in his breath. "Rey, are you asleep?"

She didn't answer. Didn't move. Didn't even flinch. Even if she wasn't mad at him, she would still have continued to pretend to be asleep, if only to avoid talking to him while he was drunk.

Then, she felt him tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and she had to summon everything she had not to shiver.

"I'm sorry for staying away, baby girl," he cooed in her ear. She felt the bed move again, felt his full weight beside her and she imagined he was lying down next to her. "I just couldn't be around you anymore. I lose control when I'm around you and I'm afraid I might do something I'll regret if I didn't stay away."

Regret? Rey thought. What was there to regret? They were two people starved for affection. Wasn't it only natural that they gravitated towards each other?

"But I'm a weak man, Rey," Ben continued, his voice steady though a little slurred as he ran his knuckles gently across Rey's cheek. "I can't stay away. I don't want to. I want you too much to stay away."

He wants her, Rey thought as her heart began to pound pleasantly in her chest. Still, she continued her pretense of sleeping, hoping he would say more.

Then, she heard a strange noise; as though Ben were choking back a sob, his palm moving from her neck to her shoulder, taking the edge of her blanket with it.

"I wish you were older," he said brokenly. "Maybe then I don't have to torture myself like this."

She felt him slide the blanket further down her body before finally pulling the covers away. He might have finally seen what she was wearing, because he paused for a moment before his tone of voice changed from broken to amused.

"Baby girl, did you wear this for me?" he chuckled. "That's awfully sweet of you. You look wonderful." She felt him lean over and plant kisses on the side of her neck. "Taste wonderful too..."

Rey remained still as Ben dropped bourbon-laced kisses from her neck to her shoulders, all the while running a hand up and down her leg, hiking up her nightgown with it. She wasn't sure how long she could keep up her charade of sleeping when he was sending electrical pulses throughout her body.

The bed shifted again as Ben moved, and now she felt his knees straddling her hips as he gently maneuvered her so now she was lying on her back, the straps of her red chemise coming down to her shoulders. He leaned over then, putting half his weight on her and began trailing wet kisses down the side of her neck, to her collarbone, to her throat.

"Baby girl...so smooth...so soft..."

She wondered why he wouldn't just kiss her on the lips, and she had to bite back a moan when she felt his teeth scrape her skin. It hurt, but it was the kind of hurt she found irresistibly delicious, making heat pool in the middle of her legs.

Her phone's message notification suddenly dinged. She continued to shut her eyes, hoping Ben wouldn't bother with it but he stopped his ministrations, and she heard him grab the offending device. She took a peek and saw the light of the phone shining on his flushed face as he stared at the screen.

"Poe Dameron, huh?"

Oh no.

Immediately, Rey opened her eyes and made a grab for her phone. "Give that back!"

Ben only laughed and held the phone away, grabbing both Rey's wrists with his free hand and pinning them above her head. "I knew you were awake, baby girl. You really should set a passcode for your phone, or other people might get access to your messages."

Rey started kicking and squirming, but it was no use. Ben had her pinned down between his legs and his grip on her hands was strong.

"He sent you a selfie of him lying down shirtless in bed." Ben showed her the message, and sure enough, Poe had taken a rather intimate snapshot of himself. "Is this the kind of boy you're going for, Rey?"

"I'm not going for him," Rey denied. "I swear, I'm not. He's just a friend."

"Just a friend, huh?" Ben mimicked, then began pressing keys on the phone.

Rey started struggling in vain again. "What are you doing?"

"Calling him." Ben smirked, much to Rey's horror, and put the phone beside her on the bed. She could hear loud ringing coming from the phone. "I set it on speaker. Now, talk to him."

Gone was the broken man from earlier, replaced now with a man seemingly possessed. His voice sounded so much like the time he had practically commanded her to touch herself, and it both scared and thrilled her at the same time.

Then, Poe answered the call. "Well, fancy this. Miss Reynabelle Snoke finally calling me."

"Uhm, hi, Poe." Rey tried not to hiss when Ben bit down on her neck and began palming her breast. "H-How are you doing?"

"Doing great now that you've called," Poe replied. Rey could sense he was smiling, but she could barely concentrate on the call. Not when Ben was tugging at her erect nipple with his fingers. "Why did you call anyway?"

"I just...called to say that, uhm..." Rey bit her lip as if it could help her hold back a moan. Ben had just pulled down her chemise, exposing her breast to the cool night air, and she could feel the warmth of his breath over it. Was he going to...

Rey was barely able to muffle the sounds coming out of her when Ben started sucking on her nipple, toying with it with his lips, moistening it with his tongue.

"Rey? Are you alright?" Poe asked, genuinely concerned. "You sound like you're choking or something."

"I'm...a bit sick." Rey made a show of coughing in between moans as Ben took her breast in his mouth, sucking it hard before letting it go with a pop. He did the same to her other breast, his free hand now travelling down towards her panties.

"Oh? Then maybe you should rest now."

"Maybe I should," Rey said almost in a growl, glaring at Ben who only smiled impishly. Then, he slipped his fingers inside her panties, Rey's glare disappearing as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Rey?"

"I'm...still here, Poe," she said through gritted teeth, trying her best to stifle her moans as Ben toyed with her clit. Oh God, it felt so much better than her own fingers. "P-Poe...I think we should...end the call now."

"Uhm...okay."

Silence. Rey pressed her lips together and shut her eyes, her back arching when Ben rubbed her clit in circles. Unable to hold back anymore, she moaned and gasped at the same time while his lips once again fell on her throat, nipping and sucking on skin.

"Rey? You alright?"

Poe. He was still on the phone!

"I told you to end the call," Rey said, more than a little panicked. She'd end the call herself if Ben still didn't keep her hands pinned above her head.

"Sorry. It's just that you sound like you're either in pain or feeling good. I couldn't tell." She heard Poe chuckle seductively. "What exactly are you doing, Rey?"

"N-nothing," Rey exclaimed, even as her face contorted in pleasure from Ben's intimate caresses. "End the call now, Poe. Please."

"Okay, Rey. See you on Monday. Good night."

"G-Good night."

Rey held her breath before finally letting it go when she heard the call end. She mustered a glare at Ben, who seemed amused by it all. "What were you thinking, Ben? We could have gotten caught!"

"That's part of the thrill, baby girl," he grinned before at last setting her hands free.

"I don't get what's so thrilling about it," Rey said with a pout, even as Ben's fingers elicited little mewls from her lips.

"Then, you've still got a lot to learn." He took his hand out of her panties, and Rey gaped in surprise as he licked every single one of his digits clean of her juices. "Mmmm. You taste divine."

He moved over her again, and she watched as he shimmied out of his pajama bottoms, revealing the sizeable tent in his boxers.

Rey's eyes widened, and in a panic, she grabbed hold of Ben's arms, which were propped up on either side of her head. "Ben...a-are you...going to have sex with me?"

"No, baby girl. We're just going to make each other feel good." Ben began rubbing his clothed length along the wet spot of her panties, and she felt her toes curl as an overwhelming sensation rushed up to her spine. "Why? Do you want to have sex with me?"

She didn't answer. Didn't want to answer. She was scared and excited all at the same time, and it was a feeling that rendered her speechless.

Ben didn't press further and just held her tight, thrusting and rubbing the erection in his boxers against her soaked panties while she buried her face on his shoulder, sharing in his moans and gasps, fingers clawing at his shoulders, legs locked around his waist.

She didn't know how long they lay there, rocking against each other. Time seemed irrelevant, and the only thing that mattered was this feeling that passed between them, soft and sweet yet powerful all the same. And soon, Ben's thrusting became more frantic, and Rey held fast as though afraid she might fall yet anticipating it all the same.

And fall she did. She arched her back and screamed as the same waves of euphoria crashed into her, and Ben held her to him, cursing while he jerked against her. She could feel something wet and warm against her crotch but she barely took notice. She was too enraptured by the heady feeling going up and down her body to notice anything else.

When the last of the spasms faded away, she let out a deep sigh. It was as though something heavy had been lifted off her shoulders, and she felt herself floating.

"Okay. Okay." Ben turned to his side and gathered Rey in his arms, and she snuggled beneath his chin, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. She planted a kiss there, and he in turn, planted a kiss on the top of her head. "My baby girl...my sweet angel..."

Rey smiled despite herself and settled into the safe haven of Ben Solo's arms, sleep swiftly coming to take her to dreams, which were filled with nothing but the nicest things.

She would wake up in the morning alone, the still warm space beside her the only indication that Ben had even been there.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I am seriously thinking of discontinuing uploading this fic in FFN due to the lack of interactions. This fic is almost finished in AO3 so if you want to read the rest, please head on over to /works/17521358/chapters/41277800. Currently the only reason I'm still bothering with FFN is because of 6 follows and some spikes in the readers stats but I don't know how long I can continue going through the tedious updating process of FFN without really knowing if this fic is reaching its audience or not so yeah. Call me resigned. I will still continue to update for now, but we'll see.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters


	16. Chapter 16: Plans

Ben sat on his dining room chair, popping an Advil and nursing a glass of water. He'd woken up with a major headache, no thanks to the amount of bourbon he had drunk the night before.

Before him was an uneaten breakfast for two consisting of bacon, eggs and French toast with a glass of orange juice. Rey hadn't emerged from her room yet since he left her side, and it was probably best that she didn't. He wasn't sure yet how to talk to her after what had happened.

Ben chugged down the water in a few gulps, quenching his parched throat. Of course he knew what had happened. There may be some hazy spots in his memory, but he knew what had occurred in that bedroom. He'd locked himself up in his study, hoping the bourbon would knock him out cold but instead it had made his body grow hot. It had made _him_ grow hot, and he had gone to Rey's room, his mind intent on apologizing, his body intent on something else.

As with before, his body had won out.

He put his head in his hands. When was this going to stop? When was _he_ going to stop? He seemed to be spiralling out of control around her, just like he had with Annabelle.

Annabelle...she had been his first. His first kiss. His first sexual experience. His first in countless of ways. He'd forgone so many things just to be with her all the time. Be _in_ her all the time. She had had him wrapped around her finger, left him begging and wanting for more until he was practically grovelling at her feet. Even after she had cheated on him, he had still held on to the hope that she would come back to him, and it had taken a long time for him to accept that she wouldn't.

And now, he was turning his obsessions on her daughter...

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and he looked up the doorway to see Rey, standing in a black silk robe, the red chemise peeking out from the opening, her chestnut hair mussed, her cheeks a healthy pink. She looked well-rested despite her disheveled appearance, and Ben found her achingly beautiful.

He gritted his teeth. He had to stop thinking these dangerous thoughts.

"Good morning, Ben," Rey smiled shyly as she walked towards her chair beside him. "I didn't expect to find you here."

She leaned over and much to Ben's surprise, brushed her soft lips on his cheek.

"Last night was wonderful," she whispered in his ear and squeezed his hand, pulling back just as Threepio came in, apparently hoping to clear the plates away. Seeing that the food was still uneaten, the old butler excused himself once more and disappeared in the doorway.

"Although..." Rey continued once Threepio was out of earshot, "I really didn't care much for when you suddenly called Poe and had me talk to him while you touched me. It may have been thrilling for you, but it wasn't for me. It was scary. We could have been caught."

Ben could barely remember that part. But there was something else that bothered him. With a low voice, he said, "Rey, try to keep your voice down when you talk about these things. And try not to be so affectionate around me when we're not in private. I don't want anyone, least of all the servants finding out about us."

"So, this is supposed to be our secret?" There was something in Rey's voice, an undeniable excitement at the prospect of having to conspire with him.

"Yes," Ben affirmed. "Our secret."

"Okay," Rey nodded, and said nothing more on the subject as she dug into her food. Instead, she filled Ben in on the friends she had made, how they had helped her get new clothes, her school, her classes, almost everything except talk about the private moments they had shared. Rey could talk a streak if she wanted to, but Ben didn't mind. With her talking and him listening while peppering in a few questions from time to time...it almost seemed like they had a normal stepfather-stepdaughter relationship.

Almost normal. There was the matter of Rey's foot brushing seductively against his leg.

He cleared his throat and pretended not to notice.

"So..." Rey said once she had finished the last of her toast, her toes running up and down the back of his leg, "How about you, Ben? How's work? Are you still seeing Denise Phasma?"

She tried to sound casual about it, but the implications were obvious to Ben. Why ask him that question unless she was, dare he say, a bit jealous? Had that been the reason she got back at him by sending him that selfie with Poe Dameron?

That had to be.

He felt his ego inflate at the thought that Rey could be jealous of any woman close to him, but he tried not to let it show. "I'm not seeing her anymore. It didn't work out."

"It didn't?" Rey failed again at hiding the eagerness in her voice. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be." Ben shrugged, knowing full well she wasn't sorry at all. "Sometimes things just don't work out between people."

"Why didn't it work out between you?" Rey pursued, and Ben pursed his lips before answering.

"We both wanted different things in life I suppose. She wanted someone carefree. I'm not."

"And...what do _you_ want, Ben?" she asked, and he stared back at her, at the hope that was in her eyes, and he suddenly remembered what he had said to her the night before.

 _"_ _...I want_ you _too much to stay away..."_

 _"_ _...I want_ you _..."_

Ben swallowed hard and averted eyes. "It doesn't matter what I want. What matters is that I take care of my responsibilities towards the company...my employees...the house...you..."

He'd meant to sound impassive, but he had added the last part gently. Almost tenderly, and he saw Rey's cheeks light up with a blush. "You don't have to stop having a life on account of me, Ben."

"I made a promise to your mother that I would take care of you," he reminded her, his voice growing stiff at the mention of Annabelle. "I intend to carry out that promise no matter what."

Rey was quiet for a moment, her foot having stopped caressing his leg. "Is the promise you made to Mother the only reason you take care of me?"

"I'm a man of my word, Rey," Ben said, not directly answering the question even though he knew the answer was no, it wasn't the only reason. But to directly answer would lead to dangerous territory—into deeper truths that he couldn't afford to entertain. He was already on mighty fine ice as it was, in grave danger of falling in...

Rey seemed disappointed with his reply, and it showed in the way she quietly pushed around the remnants of her breakfast with a fork.

Ben decided to move on to another topic. Remembering the date, he said, "Is there anything you want to do next Saturday? It's a special day, after all."

Rey frowned. "What's so special about next Saturday?"

"This coming Saturday will be 30th," he reminded, and when she still looked at him questioningly, he added, "It's your 14th birthday."

Rey blinked and straightened herself. "Oh."

Ben tilted his head at her, the corner of his lip lifting into a barely visible smirk. "Don't tell me you forgot?"

"I guess I did." Rey sat back in her chair, staring ahead as if in astonishment. "I mean...so many things have happened that I really didn't think about it. There's school...making new friends...us..."

That silenced Ben. She probably hadn't meant to, but she had emphasized 'us'. And it was true. So much had happened between them in the span of a week, with things escalating to what had occurred in her bedroom only the night before.

He staved off the memories, hoping Rey didn't notice how red his face had gotten. "Anyway, like I asked. Is there anything in particular you want to do for your birthday?"

"I don't know." Rey shrugged. "I suppose we could have the usual cake and ice cream at home, like we do almost every year."

"This year will be different," Ben said, putting his elbows on the table as he leaned over to Rey. "Why don't you invite your friends over? You could watch movies. Maybe swim in the pool."

Rey thought about it for the moment. "And where will you be?"

"I'll be in my study. I won't be in the way."

"But Ben...I want to celebrate with you," she protested. "I get to see my friends all the time. We could even have an early celebration at school. But you...I only get to see you on weekends."

Ben leaned back in his chair, deciding to say what needed to be said. "Rey...you need to spend more time with people your age. It's...it's healthier for you."

Rey crossed her arms across her breasts and pouted. "It's my birthday. I get to decide how I celebrate it. And I say you take me out somewhere. Maybe...to the fair." She perked up, seeming to like the idea more and more. "I've never been to the fair. I want to ride the Ferris Wheel, eat cotton candy, play darts and all that."

"You can do that with your friends."

"But I want to do it with you."

Ben was a little jarred by her choice of words and he had to fight off impure thoughts from his head.

"Ben, please." Rey put a hand on his, and he stared at where her thumb caressed his knuckle. "You know I never ask for much on my birthdays. I'm asking now. Take me to the fair. Please?"

She continued to run her thumb over his knuckle, and Ben looked up into her hazel eyes—pleading and hopeful at the same time.

His mind began screaming. He wasn't supposed to even think of doing this. He was supposed to stay away. Hadn't that been the plan? For his sake and especially Rey's? Them continuing to spend this much time together...it just wasn't healthy. And yet...

"Does it really mean that much to you?" he asked softly. "To spend your birthday with me?"

"It means everything, Ben," Rey answered just as softly, and that was all it took for his defenses to once again crumble.

"Okay, Rey. I'll take you to the fair."

"Yes!" Rey literally jumped off her chair to give him a tight hug. "Thank you, Ben. It'll be a date!"

A date, Ben thought, brushing off the alarm bells ringing in his head. It would just be one innocent date, a stepfather and his stepdaughter having fun at the fair.

There would be no harm in that. Right?


	17. Chapter 17: Halt

A few minutes until Sunday. Ben hadn't touched her all day, or come into her room. He had only said good night earlier before leaving her at her door, but Rey wasn't too disappointed. She was still too giddy with the fact that she got him to say 'yes' to taking her to the fair next weekend, and already, she couldn't wait. It was going to be the best birthday ever, she thought. She would wear something nice, maybe one of her dresses for once, the red one with the short, puffy sleeves and the sweetheart collar. He would be wearing something more casual, a not-so-formal button down shirt perhaps, and he would take her to ride the Ferris Wheel. Then they would share ice cream and corn dogs and whatever food there was at the fair. They would walk hand in hand, enjoying the sights and sounds, rides and attractions until their feet ache. And then, when they got home, maybe they could...

She giggled to herself as she rolled around her mattress until she was on her back and kicking her legs in the air. She had never been so happy, so excited for her birthday before. The previous ones she had, she had spent indoors but now that she was older and healthier, she could spend it outside. And best of all, she would spend it with Ben.

 _A date..._

Blushing furiously, she grabbed her pillow to bury her squeals of delight in its softness. She was so happy she could scream about it to the heavens.

It was just too bad they had to keep what they had between them a secret...

Finally catching her breath, Rey sat up from her bed and stared at her closed door, the hem of her pale blue nightgown riding up to her hips. She wondered if Ben was asleep. She could check, she thought. If he was awake, then maybe they could talk until she was sleepy. If he was asleep, then maybe...maybe it was time for some payback for when he entered her room the night before.

A devious smile lit her lips as she jumped off of bed and headed out of her room. Checking to make sure no one saw her, she padded across the hall and knocked on Ben's door.

* * *

He had done surprisingly well today. He had manage to curb his urges around Rey, had spent the entire day with her—breakfast, lunch, dinner, some quiet moments in the library and in the living room together—all without so much as touching her inappropriately. Rey had behaved herself as well, though she was by his side more than usual. Still, besides her convincing him to take her to the fair, the lack of significant happenings that day gave him hope that they could have a normal stepfather-stepdaughter relationship. Certainly, things had changed from before. He couldn't be as distant as he wanted to—not after all that had happened. And he found that he liked Rey's company. All these years of being essentially alone, it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone who listened. Someone who cared without pretense or an agenda.

It was nice to feel...wanted.

Ben shook his head and lay on his side. He was edging into dangerous thoughts again...

Three knocks echoed from his door, followed by a small voice he had become all too familiar with. "Ben? It's me."

Ben stood up from bed and hesitated as a myriad of scenarios ran through his head. Perhaps Rey just wanted to talk. Or maybe she wanted something more. What if she was actually sick again? And it was that last thought that finally pushed him to go to the door and open it for her.

"Rey," he breathed when he saw her, trying to ignore the way his body reacted to the sight of her in a pale blue sleeveless nightgown which barely covered her knees. "What are you doing here? It's late."

"I can't sleep," she said, though she didn't seem frustrated about it. In fact, she was grinning. "Can I come in?"

Ben felt two sides of him warring again, and he ended up standing in the doorway in silence, not really knowing what to do or what to say.

Rey shifted her weight from one foot to the other, clearly becoming uncomfortable with his silence. "Uhm...it's okay, if you don't want me to. I guess I just...wanted to see you again before I go to bed." She took a few steps backwards. "Good night, Ben. Sorry if I bothered you."

"Wait," he said just as she was about to turn. He didn't know why he had stopped her; only that he didn't like her leaving this way.

With a sigh, he stepped aside from the doorway and gestured for her to come in, and the smile that radiated from her lips could've melted him into a puddle.

She hurried inside, Ben looking at either side of the hallway to make sure no one had seen them before he closed the door. When he turned to her, he found that she had climbed up on to his bed and was jumping on the mattress, her hair flying over her shoulders.

"I've never been inside your room before," Rey said breathlessly. "It's really nice and spacious here. And your bed's so much quieter than mine. We could bounce around all day without anyone noticing."

Ben felt his cheeks grow hot. He wasn't sure if she understood the implications of what she had just said or if she was actually flirting with him.

"Rey, get down from there before you hurt yourself." Ben reached out for her arms, and she giggled, jumping away from him instead.

"Come on, Ben! Let's bounce!" she called, still jumping away and moving dangerously close to the edge of the bed. Quickly, he climbed on to the bed and grabbed her, falling back down and laying on the safety of the mattress with her.

He should be mad at her. He should be livid. But he wasn't. Rey was laughing, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard in his entire life. He had never heard her laugh before. Had never heard her so happy that soon, he found himself smiling into her shoulder as he held her from behind, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils.

With an overwhelming desire to look at her face, he moved so that he was propped up on his elbows above her, and he was rewarded with the brightest of smiles on her pink lips.

Rey's laughter faded but her smile didn't. No words passed between them as Ben tucked her hair behind her ear, and Rey in turn ran her fingers down the side of his face, their eyes locked on to each other. A gentle feeling passed between them—soft and warm. Ben could feel it in the way her heart fluttered against his chest, and he could feel his own heart beating in a way it hadn't before.

Rey moved her hand to his jaw line, and he turned his face so he could kiss her palm, gently running his lips through the small expanse of it, to her wrist, up her arm, to her shoulder and to her neck. Now lost in the feeling, he began nipping and sucking on her throat, eliciting little mewls from her lips as she arched her body against his, her hands flying to his hair and clawing at the dark strands.

Moving away from her throat and with his eyes closed in reverie, he moved up to kiss her jaw, her cheek, her forehead, her nose and...

He stopped just short of kissing her lips, his mouth hovering over hers, their noses touching. He opened his eyes to find Rey staring back at him with a look of utmost adoration, and it was in that moment that fear gripped his entire being.

He had felt it too.

"I...I can't do this..." he whispered, and lifted himself away to sit at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He felt the bed shift as Rey sat up as well and moved to sit beside him.

"Ben..." she put a hand on his shoulder, and he visibly flinched. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he said brokenly, as the reality of the situation, everything that had happened in the last few days crashed down on him like a tidal wave. Everything they had done...and especially everything he had felt and was still feeling...it was all so wrong. "Rey...we have to stop."

Rey stared at Ben. The silence between them seemed to stretch before she swallowed. "Why? Is it because we're stepfather and stepdaughter?" She lifted her hand away from his shoulder. "We're not blood related."

"It's more than that and you know it," Ben said and looked at her, though he avoided her eyes when he said, "Rey, I'm an adult and you...you're just a child."

"But I'm no longer a little girl," Rey objected. "You said so yourself."

"You're still only thirteen," Ben reminded her, and it was like something heavy lay on his chest as he said it.

"I'll be fourteen next week," Rey countered.

"That doesn't make much of a difference," he said, running a hand over his hair. "If anyone finds out about us, I could get into trouble."

" _If_ someone finds out," Rey punctuated. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Keeping it a secret doesn't make it right. In fact, it only makes it worse." Ben let out a breath. He was having difficulty breathing, the subject matter weighing so heavily on him. If he had a choice he wouldn't even have this conversation, but it was a conversation that needed to happen. "Rey, I'm sorry. For all the times I approached and touched you inappropriately. I should never have done that. You're not ready for this."

Rey winced. "Shouldn't I be the one to decide whether I'm ready or not?"

"Yes, but right now, you're still too young to make that decision." Ben shifted so that his body was angled towards hers. "Rey...let's start over. Go back to the way things were."

"I don't want to go back to the way things were before this," Rey protested hotly. "I don't want you keeping your distance from me again."

"I won't, but it'll be like nothing happened between us," Ben insisted, his calm demeanour seeming to irk Rey. "We could still spend time together, just not in that way. It's for your own good."

"If it's for my own good, why does it feel like a punishment?" Rey huffed.

"I'm not punishing you, Rey. I'm trying to protect you."

"From what?"

"From me." Ben made a show of striking his chest. It hurt, but he deserved so much more pain than that, he thought. "Rey, I'm not good for you. You need to be with someone your own age. Preferably when you're older and—"

"What if I want to be with you?" Rey interjected, and Ben fell into stunned silence.

It was a while before he was able to speak again. "You...you don't know what you want, Rey. You're just...confused. All this is new to you. Exciting even. It feels good. But just because it feels good doesn't mean it is good. Do you understand?"

"No, you're the one who doesn't understand," Rey countered, her voice trembling as she continued, "I want to be with you. Not just because you make me feel good, but you make me feel safe. You make me laugh. You make me feel wanted. Protected and cared for. You _are_ good for me, Ben. Why can't you see that?"

"Because I'm never good enough for anyone," Ben exclaimed as recollections of hurt, betrayal and rejection came forth. "I wasn't good enough for your mother. Or the women after her. Why should you be any different?"

"Because I'm not my mother. Or any of those other women," Rey said, and Ben could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I'm just a girl who wants to be with you."

"There. You said it yourself. You're just a girl." His fingers curled at the side of the bed. He was having a hard time keeping his voice steady, but he had to. He had to stand firm this time. "And that's why this has to stop." He stood up from bed, and with his back towards her, said, "I think it's time you leave, Rey."

He heard shuffling and sniffling behind him, but he refused to turn. He didn't want to see her cry. Didn't want the image of her laughing in his arms to be tarnished by her tears, and so he closed his eyes and waited for her to leave. Waited until the door opened and closed with a slam before opening his eyes to find Rey gone.

He never felt so alone.

* * *

Poe lay on his bed, scrolling through the messages in his phone. It was late, but he couldn't sleep. He had too much in mind, in particular a girl with a head of chestnut brown hair and a pair of hazel eyes. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her ever since she unexpectedly called him a few nights ago, with her breathy voice, gasps and sudden moans. Pain, pleasure, he still couldn't tell, but the fact that she had called right after he sent a shirtless selfie...well...his ego would like to think it was one way and not the other.

He tapped his phone against his chin. He wondered if he could repeat the results, and so he took another snapshot of himself and sent it over with a text.

 ** _Poe_** _  
Can't sleep. Your fault :)_

He smirked. If Rey were any other girl, she'd get his innuendo. But she wasn't any other girl. She was innocent. Untouched. And most importantly, she was...

His phone vibrated with a reply, and he blinked in surprise. He certainly wasn't expecting a response so soon. Not at this hour.

 ** _Reynabelle Snoke_** _  
Poe, are you free next weekend?_

 ** _Poe_** _  
For you Rey, I'm always free :)_

 ** _Reynabelle Snoke_** _  
Good. It's my 14_ _th_ _birthday next Saturday. I'd like you to take me to the fair._

Poe raised an eyebrow. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Rey was being pretty assertive.

He decided to push his luck.

 ** _Poe_** _  
Sure, Rey. It's a date!_

He waited for her reply. It didn't come until a few minutes later.

 ** _Reynabelle Snoke_** _  
It's a date._

Poe had to stare at the message a few times before it finally sank in. Rey had just agreed to go on a date with him. On her 14th birthday. Next Saturday.

A smile found its way to his lips. Things were moving faster than he had anticipated, and he couldn't be more eager.

He opened his phone's browser, looked up the local fair and began to meticulously plan for Rey's birthday. He would make it special, he thought. He would make it a day she would not soon forget.


	18. Chapter 18: Dameron

Sunday came and went, and now it was early Monday morning. Rey stood before her dresser mirror, staring at herself in her Raddus Hall uniform. It had finally arrived from the tailor's yesterday but she had been too despondent to fit it until today, when she would need it for school.

She slowly turned around so she could see if everything was in order. Her uniform consisted of a white button down shirt under a gray sweater, a dark blue blazer with the emblem of Raddus Hall on the left breast pocket, a green pleated tartan skirt an inch above the knee, knee-high black socks and black school shoes. It was a lot of articles of clothing to wear all at once, but it was worth it not to stick out so much at school anymore, or wear her new clothes which she was yet to be comfortable with.

She wondered what Ben would think of her new uniform but she immediately perished the thought. She should stop thinking about him. He had made his position perfectly clear, and he had driven it home in the way he acted around her the day before—keeping his distance, never once touching her, though he did ask after her well-being and encouraged her to eat despite her lack of appetite. He had also talked to her about mundane things—about school and the importance of diligence and hard work, giving her advice she didn't ask for. He was basically trying to act like a father. It annoyed Rey to no end, and she showed it through her general lack of interest in conversing with him, only giving him monosyllabic answers to any questions he threw her way. If he noticed, he didn't let on, and continued to act as though everything was normal.

But things were far from normal. She knew it, he knew it, but he wouldn't acknowledge it. There was now a chasm between them and she didn't know how it could be mended.

Straightening her blazer and grabbing her school bag, Rey exited her room and bounded down the stairs. Artoo should have brought her luggage to the car by now, so all she needed to do was get in and drive off with him.

"Rey!"

Rey stopped in the foyer and grimaced before she turned to Ben, who walked towards her in long strides. Already he was wearing his suit, ready for his morning commute to work. He paused a few feet away from her and looked at her from head to toe.

"Your uniform suits you," he said with a nod of approval before handing her a small Tupperware she didn't even realize he was carrying. "Here. I know you don't have time for breakfast so I made this for you. It's a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, just how you like it."

Rey took the Tupperware gingerly in her hands and stared at it for a moment. He made this for her. But she couldn't appreciate the gesture as much as she wanted to. He was trying far too hard and it was grating on her nerves.

"Thanks," she muttered under her breath and turned to leave when Ben followed her to the door, opening it for her. She went through without thanking him and hurried towards the waiting car.

"I'll be here when you get home," Ben called just as she was about to step inside the Benz.

"You don't have to bother," Rey called back without looking at him, then entered the vehicle without so much as a goodbye. It was only after Artoo started to drive away that she dared look back and saw Ben still standing there, staring after the car.

She faced forward once they had driven past the gates and opened the Tupperware Ben had given her. There were a couple of PBJs in there just as he had said there would be. He had taken the time to make this for her and yet she had barely even thanked him for it.

He deserved it, she justified to herself, and she continued to tell herself that as she took one of the sandwiches and bit into it, her tongue relishing in the flavors even though she herself didn't. He deserved it, she thought with every bite, every chew, every swallow. He deserved it for hurting her this way, for turning her down just as she was baring her heart to him.

She wasn't going to allow herself to be vulnerable like that ever again.

So why couldn't she stop crying?

Sobs wracked her body as she finished the last of her sandwich. Artoo said nothing, but handed her a box of tissues and a bottle of water, which she gratefully accepted.

It took a while for her to stop crying, and by the time she was done, Artoo had already parked in front of the school.

Wiping the last of her tears away, Rey disembarked from the Benz and led Artoo to her room, where he left her luggage by the side of the bed before bidding farewell.

Rey sat on her bed and looked around. Her room was exactly as she had left it—spic and span, with everything in its place. Then, her eyes darted towards the dollhouse, where she could see the Ben and Rey dolls just as she had left them—with Ben doll touching Rey doll's chest.

Cheeks flaming, she hurried to the dollhouse and separated the two, putting each in their own rooms before backing away. She wouldn't be playing with this dollhouse anymore, she thought. At least not for the foreseeable future. It reminded her far too much of Ben.

Straightening herself, she hoisted her school bag over her shoulder and walked out of her room, bumping shoulders along the way. It wasn't until she was nearing her classroom that she saw a familiar face emerge from the corridor.

"Rey!" Rose hurried towards her and gave her a big hug. "You look great in your uniform."

"So do you," Rey managed a smile as Rose let her go. "Where's Finn?"

"Oh, he'll be around later and..." Rose stopped midsentence, her eyes widening as she pointed to Rey's neck and whispered, "Oh my God, Rey. Are those hickies?"

Rey looked at her, puzzled. "Hickies?"

"Kiss marks," Rose reiterated. "On your neck."

Rey's hand flew to her throat, and she swallowed. She had noticed the splotches earlier but hadn't really given much them much thought.

"They're bites," she tried to lie, but blanched at her own words and added, "Bug bites."

"Yeah right, Rey. I know a hickey when I see one. Hold on." Rose rummaged through her bag and took out a red scarf, which she quickly wrapped around Rey's neck. "There. That should hide them, though you're going to have to keep wearing a scarf until the hickies disappear."

"Thanks, Rose."

Rose considered Rey for a moment. "So, it's really true? You really do have a boyfriend?"

Rey decided to go for half the truth. " _Had_ a boyfriend. We...we broke up over the weekend."

"Ouch." Rose grimaced as if in pain. "Man, I really thought you were fibbing when you said you have a boyfriend. So, you've also really gone to second base?"

That and more, Rey thought, although that would no longer be happening now. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, Rose."

"Ugly break up, huh?"

"Yes, ugly."

Rose opened her mouth to say something more, but a familiar voice rang out from the throng of students in the corridor, making both girls turn around to see Poe running towards them.

"Hey girls," Poe greeted and turned to Rey, his dark brown eyes on her red scarf. "What's with the scarf, Rey? Are you still sick or something?"

"Sick?" Rose repeated.

"She called me last Friday night. She sounded sick." Poe explained, then unexpectedly took Rey's hands. "Yeah, your hands do feel cold." He began to rub them to warm them, and Rey looked at him as though it were the first time she saw him.

Once she felt her hands were warm enough, she took them away and thanked Poe.

"Anything for you, Rey." Poe winked. "So...are you excited for this weekend?"

"What's up this weekend?" Rose quipped, and Rey suddenly remembered that she hadn't actually included Rose and Finn in her plans for her birthday.

She was going to have to rectify that. "Poe, would it be okay if Rose and Finn came with us? I think it will be more fun with more people around."

"Uhm, sure, Rey. Whatever you want. It's your birthday after all," Poe said with a smile, though Rey could tell that he was more than a little disappointed.

"You didn't tell me your birthday was coming up," Rose said, nudging Rey with her elbow. "When exactly is it?"

"This Saturday. We'll be going to the fair," Rey explained and turned back to Poe. "You wouldn't mind driving us, would you Poe?"

"No problem. Just text me your address and I'll pick you up at oh say...two o' clock?" Poe asked, and Rey shrugged.

"Two o' clock sounds fine to me."

"Great! Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get to class." Poe stepped away and waved. "See you at lunch!"

Rey waved at him as did Rose as he disappeared back into the crowd. Once he was gone, Rose nudged her by the elbow again.

"Did you just land us a double date with Poe Dameron?"

"Yes, I guess I did."

"Woohoo!" Rose pumped her fist in the air. "I can't wait to tell Finn! Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

"Yes. Fun." Rey tried her best to smile, but it was a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Not too long ago, she had daydreamed of her and Ben going to the fair. Now it would be just that—a dream and nothing more.

* * *

The week passed by slowly for Rey. Classes seemed dull and even hanging out with her friends had lost much of its luster. Rose was only too quick to notice Rey's dark mood and would often try to cheer her up, but to no avail. It got so the girl eventually became frustrated.

"You really need to get over your ex-boyfriend, Rey," Rose finally said at one point. "No use being hung up on the past when you've got Poe Dameron waiting in the wings."

Poe. He had remained sweet all week, always having lunch with them and doing his best to make her laugh. It didn't really work, but she could appreciate the effort, which she rewarded with a smile. That seemed to be enough for Poe, as his eyes always ended up twinkling.

Not for the first time, Rey wondered if she could move on with Poe. Not for the first time, she wondered why it couldn't just be as easy as that.

As for Ben, he remained a fixture in her inbox, texting her constantly to inquire after her, though his texts were no longer as frequent as before. No more selfies or photos exchanged. No more jokes either. Just a 'father' texting his 'daughter' to check up on her and make sure she was okay.

Rey replied to his texts but only in a few words. Short. Formal. Impersonal. And sometimes, she would wait hours before she replied. She had lost enthusiasm for everything, especially for communicating with him. Food was bland, the skies were drab, the days dreary. Whatever happiness she may have felt at the prospect of going on a date with Ben seemed so alien now, and she wondered if she could ever be that happy again. Maybe not. She really didn't care much anymore.

Soon enough, it was Friday afternoon, and she was once again in the Benz with Artoo on her way back to Alderaan Manor for the weekend. It barely registered to her that they had reached home until she spotted Ben waiting on the porch.

He had remained true to his word despite how curtly she had dismissed him when she had left.

Suppressing the feelings welling up in her chest, Rey exited the vehicle and stared up at Ben, who remained standing in his dress shirt and slacks, hands clasped in front of him. Only a week before, she had jumped into those strong arms, and he had held her fast, and things had led up to an intimate encounter in her bedroom. There would be none of that now.

Ben let out a small smile. He wasn't as clean shaven as before. There was a five o' clock shadow on his jaw line and there were bags under his eyes. He looked sick.

Unable to stop her concern, Rey walked up to him and asked, "Are you alright, Ben?"

"Never better." He tried to sound chipper but failed, and he stepped back from the door to let her in. "Shall we have dinner?"

Rey's brows met with worry for Ben. Nevertheless, she walked past him and entered the house, making a slow trek towards the dining room.

Dinner that night was an affair, consisting of lobster, sea bass and crab. Rey always did have a soft spot for seafood, and despite the awkward air around her and Ben, she managed to enjoy the meal.

"Think of this as an early celebration for your birthday tomorrow," Ben said when she had inquired about the food. With what seemed like his first genuine smile of the day, he turned to Rey and asked, "Are you ready for our date at the fair tomorrow?"

Rey didn't look at him as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Actually...I'm going there with my friends instead. They'll be picking me up here at two o' clock sharp. I hope that's okay."

Ben was quiet for a beat. "Uhm, yes, I suppose that's okay."

A pause. Rey looked up to see Ben staring at the opposite wall of the dining room. His mind seemed far away, and she could've sworn he was actually hurting.

"It's a good thing you're hanging out with friends your age," Ben finally said after a time, a tight smile on his full lips. "It's for the best."

Rey wasn't sure whether he was telling her that, or telling himself that.

"Will Poe Dameron be there?" Ben questioned, pouring a glass of wine for himself.

"Yes," Rey answered, her eyes on Ben's glass as he filled it to the brim. "He'll be the one driving us."

Ben said nothing. Not at first. Not until he had drank from his glass, emptying it half way. "Rey...about that boy. I strongly suggest you stay away from him."

Rey eyed him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just trust me on this," Ben said, a little firmly this time. "He's not good for you."

That response agitated Rey. "Oh. And of course you know _exactly_ what's good for me, don't you, Ben?"

Ben sighed. "Rey...please. I'm trying my best here."

"Trying your best to what exactly? Be the father I never had?" Rey demanded, her voice growing shriller. "That ship has sailed, Ben. You can never be my father. Not after everything that has happened. And I don't want you to be."

"And what do you want me to be, Rey?"

Silence. Rey could find no reply, no retort suited for such a question.

"See? You don't even know what you want or what you don't want," Ben pointed out and squared his shoulders. "I made a mistake. Several mistakes that have left you confused. I'm trying to make things right."

"Then don't come between me and my friends!" Rey snapped. "You want me to be around boys my age don't you?"

"Yes, but you're still too young," Ben argued.

"That never stopped you from doing the things you did," Rey retorted, and Ben winced as though he had been slapped. Rey pushed back her plate and exited the dining room, fuming as she stomped to her bedroom and lay on her bed to sulk.

It wasn't long after that Ben opened the door, though he didn't go in. Rey tried to ignore his presence as she stared angrily at the ceiling, as though willing it to cave and crush them both.

After a long moment, Ben finally spoke. "There's a possibility that Poe Dameron...could be your half-brother."

Rey immediately sat up from bed. "What do you mean?"

"The Dameron name has always sounded familiar to me, so I had someone look him up," Ben explained. "Turns out his father is Kes Dameron. A man your mother had a long term affair with."

Rey's stomach started to tie itself in knots as the information sank in. Poe...could be her half-brother?

"We haven't figured out yet if the timing of the affair is right," Ben continued, "Hence why it's only a possibility, but it's a possibility that's there. I'm sorry, Rey. I know you liked that boy."

Rey stilled, barely able fathom it. All those times Poe smiled at her, winked at her, held her hand and flirted with her...it all seemed so dirty now.

Once the dust settled however, Rey came to a new resolve. "It doesn't matter. If anything, it means I should hang out with him more."

"Rey..."

"If you're worried about anything sexual happening between me and Poe, don't be, that's not going to happen. Especially not now," Rey assured. "But if he is my half-brother, then I'd like to get to know him better."

"Okay, Rey. Okay." Ben nodded, and when Rey said nothing more, he said, "I'll uhm...I'll take my leave now. Good night."

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Please take care of yourself, won't you?" Rey asked, for the first time allowing genuine concern and care to seep into her voice. "Get some rest and lay off the alcohol for a while."

Ben pressed his lips together and nodded before closing the door, leaving Rey to mull over everything he had just revealed.

A Dameron, she thought. She could be a Dameron. She could actually have a father and a brother. A real family. Not like the dysfunctional dynamic she had with Ben.

The thought of texting Poe the news crossed her mind but she shot it down almost immediately. News like this was too personal to relay over text message. She would talk to him about it in person, she thought. Tomorrow. At the fair or after, when they get some time alone.


	19. Chapter 19: Birthday

Rey tightened the elastic band of her ponytail as she stood on the manor's front porch, waiting for Poe's Mustang to arrive. According to the last text message she received from him, they should be coming through the gates any minute now.

Nervously, she pulled down the edge of her denim shorts. It seemed to go well with her black t-shirt with the colorful print and her black sneakers, but it seemed the shorts were well...too short. She had picked it out because she wanted to look older than her thirteen, now fourteen years but that didn't mean she was comfortable with it.

She felt a presence beside her and looked up to see Ben, stepping up to her side. He hadn't changed since this morning, still wearing his dark gray sweater and baggy trousers, and he still looked tired as though he hadn't had his morning coffee yet.

"They're coming soon?" he asked.

"Yes, soon," she answered and turned away from him. "You don't have to see me off, Ben. I'll be fine on my own."

"But I want to meet your friends," Ben said, before finally turning to look at her, his eyes moving up and down as he stared. "You look...grown up."

"Thanks," Rey muttered, and tugged at her shorts again.

"Don't you think the shorts are a little...short though?"

 _"_ _That's what I've been thinking,"_ Rey thought but decided to instead say, "No. Other kids my age wear them like this all the time."

"Okay," Ben said unsurely. "I just don't want Dameron to get the wrong idea."

"Why would he?" she asked, and he looked at her contemplatively.

Before he could say anything more, car horns blared from the gate. Rey turned to the direction of the gate and sure enough, saw Poe's Mustang. Ben went back to the front door to press the panel to open the gate, and Rey watched as the Mustang went through the electronic gates and drove inside the property, stopping in front of the porch.

Poe, Finn and Rose all disembarked from the car, their eyes widening as they took in the house.

"Nice place, Rey," Finn breathed out with a grin, then stopped when Ben reappeared beside Rey. "Oh. Good afternoon, sir."

"Ben, these are my friends," Rey introduced, gesturing to them one by one. "This is Rose Tico. This is her boyfriend, Finn Wolff. And this is Poe Dameron."

Rose and Finn held their hand up in a small wave, but Poe actually went up the steps and held out his hand to Ben. "How do you do, sir?"

"Very well, thank you for asking." Ben shook Poe's hand for an unusually long time, Rey noticed. She also saw the way Poe seemed to be hiding a grimace. "How old are you again, young man?"

"J-just turned seventeen, sir." Rey watched as Poe tried to pull his hand away but Ben didn't seem to want to let go.

"You'll be in charge of these kids?" Ben pursued.

"Yes, sir." Poe nodded.

"Okay. You make sure to bring my stepdaughter back at seven o' clock sharp and not a minute more, you got that?" There was an edge to Ben's voice. Something threatening there. Rey stared as the tug of war of hands continued to transpire before her until Ben finally let go.

"I'll do my best to get her home before then, sir." Poe discreetly flexed his hand.

"Good." Ben backed off a little, his hardened features softening when he looked at Rey. "You have fun, alright?"

"I will," Rey said, then hurried off to join her friends, who were getting back inside the car. This time though, she sat on the passenger's side next to Poe while Rose and Finn sat in the backseat.

The car drove off. Rey looked at the side mirror and watched as Ben continued to stand on the porch, only tearing her eyes away once they were out the gates.

"Your stepfather's a lot handsomer in real life," Rose spoke up from the backseat. "And he seems pretty nice too."

"Nice?" Poe repeated, the grimace he had been hiding earlier now manifesting on his lips. "He damned near broke my fingers. Is he mad at me or something?"

He had directed the question at Rey, who simply shrugged. Who knew what went on in Ben's head these days?

The drive to the fair went on as normal, with conversation flowing freely about school, about life, and mostly what they were going to do at the fair, what rides they would go for, what food they would eat. In the end, they all decided to just wing it.

They arrived at the fair not half an hour later, and Rey was mesmerized. She had only seen the fair in pictures, but to see everything up close—the lights, the rides, the people—it was as overwhelming to her as the first time she went to the mall, perhaps more so because she was here not for shopping, but for an actual thrilling experience.

After Poe parked the car, they all got out and went into the crowds, making sure to buy their tickets first before entering the fair. There was so much to do, so many possibilities, so many places to go to, that Rey ended up relying on her friends as to what they should do first.

Deciding on a bit of sweet snack, they hurried to buy cotton candy, which they ate on their way to the shooting gallery. It was the first time Rey had ever eaten cotton candy, and she thought how this must be what eating a sweet cloud would be like.

At the shooting gallery, they all took turns shooting at mobile ducks. Rey barely hit a single duck. Poe and Finn though managed to do well enough to snag teddy bears, which they promptly gave to Rey and Rose respectively.

"Happy birthday, Rey," Poe declared as he handed her a pink stuffed bear, which she gladly accepted.

"Thank you, Poe." She hugged the small bear to her. "I'll treasure it."

Poe winked at her, then suddenly put his arm around her as they walked through the fair, Rose and Finn walking hand in hand ahead of them.

Rey stared at where Poe's hand lay on her shoulder. She wasn't at all comfortable with how close he was to her, and tried to move away but he held her fast, putting his whole arm over her shoulder so now she couldn't get away.

Rey steeled herself. She was going to have to tell Poe about what she had learned from Ben, if only to stop his weird advances. But how would she even begin? Rose and Finn were always in earshot and she couldn't risk revealing something so damning about her mother and Poe's father when the possibility of her parentage wasn't even certain yet.

She decided to start with something safer. "Poe, you mentioned your father and my mother were friends, right? How did they meet?"

"My dad works at a company which is a client of Solo Shipping Enterprises. He and my mother had lunch once with your stepdad and his wife Annabelle. I was there too but I was too young to remember much of it."

"How old were you then?"

"About three or four maybe? I don't know."

Rey mentally counted the years. Poe said he had just turned seventeen. That meant it had been thirteen, fourteen years since Kes Dameron met Annabelle. The timing seemed to be right.

However, there was something nagging at the pit of Rey's stomach. Something was off. But what?

"Rey?" Poe tightened his hold on her.

"What's your father like?" Rey suddenly asked.

Poe smirked, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Curious, are we?"

"I just want to know about the friends my mother had," Rey said.

Poe considered her for a moment, then his eyes darkened in a way that made her unsettled. "My father and I are estranged. We have been for a long time, ever since my mother died around ten years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Rey said softly.

Poe muttered something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like, "You ought to be."

"What was that?"

"I said don't be," Poe reiterated, though Rey was pretty sure that wasn't what he said the first time. Then, he smiled, though his eyes remained unreadable. "Enough of this sad talk. Let's head to the Ferris Wheel next."

The Ferris Wheel was huge, and each cabin could accommodate four people. Rey had hoped it could only accommodate two, so she and Poe could finally have some time to talk alone, but Rose and Finn didn't seem too keen on being separated from them, so all four of them got into a cabin, and Rey decided to just enjoy the ride.

Rey looked outside the window. She wasn't afraid of heights, and she certainly appreciated the view as they slowly made their way to the top. Finn pointed at all the other rides he wanted to try next, and Rey nodded, just as eager to try them.

The view from the top of the Ferris Wheel was absolutely breathtaking. She could see the entire fair, the lights, the colorful stalls, booths and rides, the hills in the distance, even the city. She was on top of the world and she was reminded why this was the ride she had most looked forward to.

After the Ferris Wheel came more rides—bumper cars, big top swinger, Goliath slide, carousel and several others Rey couldn't name, each one more thrilling than the next. They even went to the Haunted Mansion, where Rey for once didn't mind holding on to Poe's hand while Rose and Finn clung to each other, screaming their heads off.

They later exited the Haunted Mansion, laughing as they did before they decided it was time for dinner. Poe once again had his arm over Rey's shoulder as they went from stall to stall, buying corndogs, churros, burgers and sodas before heading to the picnic tables to eat. Rose and Finn surprised her with a four layer funnel cake, which they topped with whipped cream and a single candle in place of a birthday cake.

She'd already had a birthday cake of course, during breakfast with Ben as well as some of her favorite cookies and cream ice cream, as was their yearly tradition. She'd made a wish then, and she was making the same wish now as she blew out the candle of the funnel cake.

"What did you wish for?" Rose asked.

"It's a secret," Rey said with a smile. Even if she did tell them, they would never understand how her wish could involve her stepfather. "I'm famished. Let's eat!"

Conversation flowed all throughout dinner. Rey had never eaten so much junk food in all her life, and she felt a tummy ache coming on so she stopped short of finishing her burger. Poe was more than willing to polish off her plate, and did so without much prompting.

"Careful, Poe," Finn warned light-heartedly. "You keep eating Rey's food like that and your abs will turn to flabs."

"I don't intend to lose my abs," Poe said proudly, keeping an arm on the backrest behind Rey. "Besides, even if they do turn into flabs, I'm sure Rey wouldn't mind."

Rey frowned. "Why bring me into the conversation?"

"Because I value your opinion very much, Rey." Poe grinned, then ran a finger on the side of her arm, making her shiver and pull away. Poe was getting a little too touchy for her taste. She had to find some way to tell him what she knew.

Thunder suddenly rumbled, and Rey looked up to see thick, dark clouds forming on the ever darkening skies.

"I think that's our signal to leave," Poe declared, looking at his watch as he did so. "It's almost time to bring Rey home anyway. I'll drive Finn and Rose home first, since their place is on the way."

Rey nodded and stood up from her seat, as did everyone else. They then hurried out of the fair and back to Poe's car, taking the same seats they did earlier.

It didn't take long for them to arrive in Finn and Rose's neighborhood, and Poe dropped the pair off before turning to the main road again with Rey.

Rey breathed out. They were finally alone.

"Poe...about your father..."

"You know, Rey, we've still got some time," Poe cut in, turning the wheel. "There's a special place I'd like to show you. Somewhere we can be alone."

"But we're already alone."

Poe laughed. "Not on the road we're not, with all these other cars and shit. So what do you say? It won't take long. Think of this as my other birthday gift to you besides that bear."

Rey stared at Poe's profile. She couldn't read his eyes, but there seemed to be a smile of anticipation in his lips.

"Okay, Poe," she finally agreed, hugging the bear to her for comfort. They could use the privacy, she told herself, in light of what she was about to reveal.

Poe's smile widened and he turned the car to a road that led uphill. There were barely any cars on this road, no houses at all, and the light from the street lamps revealed thick trees and vegetation on both sides of the path.

Then, Poe turned to another path, an unpaved dirt road which seemed to lead to nowhere until they emerged at the edge of the hill, the drop barricaded by a wooden fence. A single lamp post illuminated their surroundings, but what caught Rey's eyes was what was beyond the horizon.

Thousands upon thousands of lights from the city lit up the scene before her. She could make out the silhouettes of buildings dotted with lights from the windows, could see the moving lights on the roads as cars drove through the night, could see the lights from houses and street lamps below illuminating the darkness. It was a brilliant feast for the eyes, something she never imagined she would see.

"It's so beautiful," she breathed out.

"Yeah...beautiful." Poe cut off the engine then angled his body towards her, one hand resting on the headrest of her seat. "But not as beautiful as you, birthday girl."

That brought Rey back to the present, and she turned to face Poe. "Poe, I—"

"Did I tell you you look sexy tonight?" Poe interrupted, his eyes wandering to her legs. "With that cute little pair of shorts? Did you dress up for me, Rey? You did, didn't you?"

"N-no, I—"

She was cut off by the lips that fell on hers.

Poe's lips.

Pressing against hers.

Poe was kissing her!

She quickly pushed him away, her back pressed against the car door.

Poe's brows met with confusion. "What's wrong, Rey?"

"That was...that was my first kiss," Rey whispered in shock.

"Oh yeah? I'm your first kiss?" Poe grinned widely, seemingly more excited than before. "Then let me give you your second."

He moved his face towards her again but she quickly pushed him back by the shoulders.

"No, Poe!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Poe...we could be siblings!"

That finally stopped his advance, though she still had to hold him back, his weight still bearing down on her. "What?"

"My mother had an affair with your father," Rey blurted out. "He could be my father too. And you could be my half-brother!"

Poe stared at her for what seemed like the longest time. She expected him to sit back in astonishment, maybe to voice out his disbelief.

She didn't expect the flat line of his lips to curl up into a sinister smile.

He laughed. "Oh sweet little Rey...don't you think I know that?"

Rey blinked. "What?"

"Of course I knew your mother had an affair with my dad. That's why my parents broke up. And you know what else?" Poe's smile turned dangerous now. Threatening, and Rey found herself cowering further down in her seat. "You're not my sister. Because your slut of a mother was already pregnant with you by the time she met my dad. I know because I saw them the first time they fucked."

Rey's eyes widened. She remembered now, remembered and realized too late that Annabelle had been pregnant before Ben even married her. Even before she met Kes Dameron.

"Do you want to know the details?" Poe went on, crawling to her so he was now looming over her. "How swollen her stomach was, how full her breasts were while my dad fucked her from behind in his office?"

"Stop!" Rey cried out. She tried to get away but Poe held her down fast. "Poe, please, I don't want to hear more!"

"Do you want to know what it did to my mother, Rey?" His grip on her shoulders tightened, and she winced in pain as fingernails dug into skin. "My mother went insane. Eventually killed herself for it. And now, it's payback time. Now, I get to fuck Annabelle Snoke's sweet little girl."

Rey's breathing became frantic, panic setting in. "Poe, don't!"

"Relax, Rey. You'll enjoy it." She could hear the clinking of a buckle, and she just new Poe was taking off his belt. "Your mother certainly did. I'll turn you into a slut, just like her. Like mother, like daughter."

She heard the unzipping of a zipper. Heard the shuffling of clothes as Poe shimmied out of his pants.

She couldn't look. She knew what he had down there. Had experienced it once with Ben.

But he wasn't Ben. There were no feelings of elation; no thrill to be had with Poe's advances; only fear. And when his hands began fumbling with the button of her shorts, that was when Rose's advice suddenly came back to her.

 _"_ _Some boys won't take no for an answer, at which point you can kick him between his legs."_

One hard kick upwards was all it took. One hard kick between his legs, and he jumped and hit his head on the car's ceiling before falling back in his seat in agony. Rey twisted her body and opened the car door, stumbling out of the vehicle before running as fast as she could. Down the dirt path. Away from Poe. Away from the horrors her mother had wrought as lightning lit up the skies, and the heavens finally bore down on her with icy drops of rain. It would be the only thing to wash away the warm tears streaming down her face.


	20. Chapter 20: Warmth

**A/N:** As always, warning for underage stuff

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

Ben drove slowly through the streets in his personal Lexus, squinting through the window to see if he could spot her. It was hard to see much of anything with all the rain pouring in, but he had to find her. The storm was also messing with the GPS signal from her phone, and he knew time was running out.

His blood continued to pound with equal parts anger and dread. He had been waiting outside the manor, worried as the rain poured in with no sign of that boy's Mustang, when Rey suddenly called him, crying and asking to be picked up. She hadn't told him what happened, but he knew something had, and all kinds of scenarios had run through his head, none of them good.

He turned to a fork in the road, checking his phone for her signal, thankful that he had had the sense to install a tracking app on her phone. Rey had said she had no idea where she was; only that she was at a bus stop somewhere.

One more turn on the road, and the signal led him straight to where she said she would be—at a lonely bus stop almost in the middle of nowhere. She was alone and shivering, her clothes pasted to her skin, her hair clinging to her face as she rocked herself back and forth, rubbing her shoulders with her hands.

He stopped the car in front of the bus stop and stepped out of the vehicle with an umbrella.

"Rey!"

She slowly looked up, and his eyes widened when he saw her face, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu washing over him. It had almost been exactly like this when he first met Annabelle—a stormy night, with her crying in the rain, so vulnerable yet so heartbreakingly beautiful.

But Rey was so much younger than Annabelle had been. Looked far more vulnerable that it nearly broke his heart when she called out his name.

"B-Ben..."

He didn't know who ran first, but he soon found himself hugging Rey fiercely to him while she in turn clung to him almost in desperation, burying her sobs in his sweater.

"I'm s-s-sorry, B-Ben," she cried. "Sh-should've gone with you. Sh-should've never g-gone with P-Poe."

He looked around, his face darkening. There was no sign of that Dameron boy, which was just as well, he thought. He might end up with blood in his hands if he found him.

"Come," he said after a time, leading her back to the car, his large hand on the small of her back. "Let's get you home."

Helping her to the backseat, Ben grabbed a jacket he had discarded on the floor and put it around Rey's shoulders before he hurried back to the driver's seat, turned the vehicle around and drove back towards the manor.

He revved up the engine, impatient to get home and yet careful with the wet, slippery roads, his eyes constantly looking at Rey from the rear view mirror. He couldn't tell if she was shivering from the cold or from crying, but he knew he had to get her home and warmed up fast.

By the time they got back to Alderaan Manor, Rey had grown too weak to stand on her own, and he had to lift her up in his arms, holding her close as he braved the rain and hurried up the steps to the front door.

Threepio was there to open the door for them.

"Threepio, where's Maz?" Ben asked, looking around the foyer to see if he could find the old servant.

"I believe you gave her the day off, Master Solo," Threepio reminded, "so she could attend to some personal needs."

Ben cursed inwardly. Rey was shivering something terrible in his arms. "Prepare some hot chocolate, Threepio, and bring it up to Rey's room. Bring in some logs for the fireplace too. She'll need to be warmed up quickly."

"Yes, sir."

Ben didn't wait for the old butler to leave, and hastened up the stairs and into the hallways until he reached Rey's room. He then carried her to the bathroom, where he had her sit on the closed toilet seat while he gently but quickly took off her shoes and peeled off every layer of her clothing until she sat naked before him.

For a moment, he was left dry-mouthed, unable to fathom how much she had grown in the span of weeks. He tried to be clinical about everything as he rubbed her down with a towel, patting her dry and pulling her hair loose of the ponytail, but his body had a strong response to seeing her budding breasts, the softening curves of her waist, and the collection of curls at the apex of her thighs.

Doing his best to clear his head of impure thoughts, he wrapped her up in the towel, went back to her room to grab the thickest nightgown he could find and helped her dress up, lifting her up a little so he could help her put on her underwear. She was still trembling by the time they were done that he had to carry her to bed and cover her with two thick comforters.

Threepio knocked and announced himself before entering, hot chocolate in one hand, logs in the other. Ben instructed him to put the hot chocolate on the nightstand and light the fireplace, which Threepio promptly did. Soon, the room warmed enough to Ben's liking, and he dismissed the old butler.

After taking Rey's temperature and finding it low, Ben paced the room and dialed the number to one of Rey's doctors, Dr. Kalonia. Once she answered, he quickly explained the situation and the state he had found Rey in.

"She might have mild hypothermia," Dr. Kalonia surmised. "You did the right thing getting her out of her wet clothes and covering her in blankets. Have her drink a hot beverage and monitor her temperature. Call me if anything changes."

"Yes, doctor."

Ben ended the call and strode towards the other side of the bed, where Threepio had left the hot chocolate. Gingerly, he had Rey sit up so she could drink. She shook her head weakly.

Gently, he said, "Come on, Rey. Take a sip. You need this."

Rey looked at him then, eyes so glassy and red-rimmed before she blew on the cup and took long sips. Gone was the young woman who had left his doorstep only hours before. What came back was a frightened little girl, dazed and confused, and if she didn't need him at that very moment, he would've torn the city looking for that Dameron boy so he could ram his head into a brick wall.

Rey sputtered, and Ben rubbed her back. Setting the cup aside, he laid her back down on the mattress and pulled the covers up to her neck. He was about to stand when she suddenly grabbed hold of his hand.

"D-d-don't l-l-leave me, B-Ben..."

"I'll come back, sweetheart," he reassured her, the endearment slipping through his lips. The last time he had called her that, he had been on the phone, encouraging her to pleasure herself.

Quickly shaking away the recollection, he continued, "I just need to change out of these damp clothes and take a hot bath. I won't be long."

"P-Promise?"

"I promise."

Rey let go then, and without thinking, Ben leaned over to kiss her forehead, his lips lingering before he realized what he was doing and pulled away. Rey didn't seem to mind. If anything, she had pressed her forehead further against his lips, or at least he thought she did.

Tucking her in once more, he left her room for his and took off his clothes, relieved to find that his cock was beginning to soften. He thought it wouldn't especially after he had seen her completely naked for the first time only moments before. At least now with his erection fading, he won't have to subject himself to a cold shower. Not on this cold night.

After a quick hot shower in his bathroom, he put on a white shirt and a pair of pajama pants before making his way back to Rey's room across the hall, where he found her still shivering under the covers.

"Rey?" He strode to her side and ran his knuckles against her cheek. Her skin was still cold to the touch.

"Y-Your hands...w-warm..." Rey stuttered through her chills, and Ben cupped her face with a palm, making her sigh with relief.

An idea wormed its way into his head. A small part of him refused, saying he wasn't supposed to even be thinking about it but he told himself she needed this, and so he took off his shirt, slipped under the blankets beside her and gathered her into his arms until she was pressing her cheek to his chest, her small hands splayed on his back.

He grimaced a little. She was ice cold, each touch seeming to zap the warmth away from his body but she needed this, he thought. Needed as much warmth as she could get, and he was only more than willing to give.

He didn't know when he fell asleep, or if he even did. He was in that strange place between sleep and awake, unable to notice the passage of time as he held her small body to his, and the next thing he knew, morning sunlight was pouring in from the windows, momentarily blinding his eyes with its brightness.

Blinking, he looked down and found Rey staring up at him. She was still pale, but at least her lips were no longer blue and she was no longer as cold as she was the night before.

Absently, he leaned over to kiss her forehead once more. He found it pleasing to do that, to be allowed to be this close to her after what seemed like an eternity of being at a distance that he didn't know how he could have lived without her close to him. "How long have you been awake, sweetheart?"

"A while," she answered, and he was relieved to find a blush rise up her cheeks. That meant her circulation was getting better.

"How are you feeling?" he went on, running his fingers through her hair. "Need anything? A hot soup? A drink?"

"No, I'm fine." Her voice was so tiny, he could barely hear her. And he could sense she was afraid. Saw it in the way she cowered, the way her shoulders hunched inwardly, saw it in her eyes.

There was a haunted look in her eyes that unsettled him. Depressed and angered him.

"What happened out there?" he asked gently, and almost instantly, tears welled up in Rey's eyes, and she began to cry in earnest.

"Rey, shhh, it's okay." Ben gathered her in his arms again, tucking her head beneath his chin as she sobbed into his neck. He could feel her hot tears on his skin, and he wanted nothing more than to skin Poe Dameron alive, yet at the same time, he couldn't stop mentally kicking himself. If only he had known, if only he had acted on his instincts and not let her go, none of this would have happened.

After a time, Rey's sobs turned into sniffles, and she said, "He...he kissed me, Ben. He stole my first kiss."

Ben blinked as he searched her eyes. He remembered a long time ago, when she was but a child, when she had declared that she would only kiss once she got married. It had been a dream of hers, a naive one he had thought, but he knew she had held on to that dream for so long. And to have it all shattered like that...it made him want to hurt someone.

Still, he could sense there was far more under the surface, and in a low voice, he asked, "What else did he do?"

Rey's sobs returned at full force. "He tried to...he tried to...h-have s-sex with me...but I kicked him and...I ran away..."

"It's okay, Rey." He held her to him again. He had suspected that something like that had happened ever since Rey called him, but he had hoped it wasn't true. But it was now apparent that that was exactly what had occurred. His worst fears had come to light.

He shut his eyes tight. He didn't think he would be able to take hearing more of the details but Rey was relentless in her revelations—from Poe not being her brother, to how he had wanted revenge because of what Annabelle had done to his family.

Everything led back to Annabelle, and Ben's anger grew tenfold. It was because of her that her own daughter had had to suffer like this. How much poison was that dead woman going to bring into their lives?

Rey continued to sob and Ben did all he could to reign in his anger—anger towards Poe Dameron, anger towards Annabelle, anger towards himself. Rey didn't need a man hell-bent on revenge right now. What she needed was comfort.

"You're safe now," he continued to assure her. "And your first kiss? He wasn't able to steal it." He pulled back so he could look into her eyes, framing her face in his large palms. "Your first kiss is the one you give willingly. You didn't give it to him, right?"

She shook her head.

"Then, you still have your first kiss," Ben concluded, giving her a small smile as he did. "And one day, you will give it to someone special to you. Do you understand?"

Rey didn't nod. Or react. She seemed to have been frozen in her spot, her eyes locking with Ben's as he continued to cup her face in his palms, their breaths mingling, their bodies heaving almost in unison.

Then, before Ben knew what was happening, Rey leaned forward and kissed him fully on the lips.


	21. Chapter 21: Kiss

**A/N:** Warning for Explicit Sexual Content and Consensual Underage Sexual Activities.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters

* * *

She kissed him. Kissed him the way she had wanted to for the longest time. Gave him what he said was her first kiss. Gave it willingly to someone special. Him.

It didn't matter to her anymore that it wasn't on a special day like her wedding. It didn't matter that it wasn't under better circumstances. What mattered to her was that he was here with her, in this moment, this man who had swooped down and saved her from the rain, took care of her and held her and made her feel safe, warm and protected again.

She didn't think about the consequences of her actions. Didn't care for them either. She knew what her heart wanted and she went for it. She would not regret this. Would not allow herself to.

Ben didn't respond to the kiss. She didn't expect him to as she pulled back to look at the stunned expression on his face.

He swallowed hard. "Rey..."

She put a finger to his lips and pleaded with him with her eyes. "Please don't. I don't want to regret this."

She removed her finger from his lips, though allowed it to linger for a bit. Her eyes, she kept on his eyes, never letting go of his gaze.

"You should've given it to someone else," he said after a time, and he sounded about as broken as he had when he had wished she was older. "I...I don't deserve it."

"Isn't that supposed to be my choice to make?" Rey asked without a hint of animosity in her voice as she ran her hand across the side of his face. "Ben...I wanted you to be my first kiss. I...I think I always have. That's why when Poe..." She trailed off when as a sob threatened to well up in her throat.

"He didn't, alright?" Ben reminded, and put a hand on her cheek. "You just gave it to me. Poe...that meant nothing."

Rey nodded. He was right. That kiss with Poe had meant nothing. Not like the kiss she had just given him. That...that had meant _everything_ , but she didn't dare say it. She couldn't. Not when this bubble they were in was so fragile, and yet, she dared to ask, "Can I kiss you again?"

Ben didn't reply immediately. "I don't think that's wise."

"Why not?"

"I'm not as great as you think I am, Rey," he said in a grave tone, his eyes darkening. "If you kiss me again, I might not want to stop."

"What if I don't want you to?" Rey said, putting a hand over Ben's where it lay on her cheek.

Ben shook his head. Rey could tell he was still fighting it, but his voice told her he was starting to break. "We can't, Rey. You're only thir...fourteen. I'm thirty three. I've already done enough damage to you."

"Ben, can we just...pretend for once that I'm older?" Rey pleaded. "Pretend that circumstances were different? That we met at a different time, a different place..."

"Rey..."

"I want to forget," Rey sobbed again, the tears flowing down her cheeks as images of Poe's face—the hunger in his eyes, the menace in his smile—flashed before her eyes. "Please, Ben. Just for today. Make me forget."

She saw Ben's shoulders slacken and his features soften, his eyes shimmering in the morning light.

And when he gently moved to wipe her tears away, she just knew she had broken through.

Without another word, he pulled her into his embrace, cupping the back of her head as he pressed his plush lips to hers. She melted into his arms then, following his lead as he angled his head, his lips never once leaving hers, parting slightly to nibble on hers.

Rey felt the blood rush throughout her body as her heart hammered against her rib cage. The kiss was soft and gentle, a dance of lips on lips to music only they could hear. Warm breaths mingling, Ben continued to kiss Rey, to hold her body against his until a hunger began to take over her. A hunger for more.

She suddenly remembered what she had witnessed at the mall. With Rose and Finn.

Slowly, tentatively, she prodded Ben's lips with her tongue, licking at the upper and lower lips before trying to wedge it in between. Ben stilled at first, but all too soon, he parted his lips to welcome hers, meeting her small tongue with his large one, moving it up, over and under, entwining it with hers.

What she had found gross when she first witnessed it, she now found to be far from it. This kiss was another first for her—far deeper and far more intimate than any of the few she had ever had. It reached deep into her, dangling her close to fainting but pulling her back at the last second. She felt her toes curl and soon, felt wetness pooling in between her legs.

She groaned into Ben's mouth and arched her back so she could press her body closer to his, and that's when she felt it—his erection. And it thrilled her that the kiss was affecting him too.

Ben slowly pulled back from the kiss, his eyes glazed as he looked at her, chest heaving with his heavy breaths.

"Wow, Ben..." Rey whispered, struggling to find the words, "That was...that was..."

"I know," Ben whispered back, pressing his forehead against hers.

"All those times...we did what we did..." Rey said in between breaths, "...and you never kissed me. Why?"

Ben's answer was not immediate, but when he did, he gazed at her with what looked almost like agony. "Because kissing makes me feel too much."

Rey opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, but Ben never gave her the chance. His lips were on hers again, insistent and hungry as he moved his body over hers. It scared her at first, the memory of Poe looming over her still not leaving her thoughts, and she had to remind herself that this was not Poe, but Ben—big, strong, muscular Ben, who was now trailing kisses down the side of her neck.

"Are you still cold?" he mumbled.

"No." Rey shook her head.

"Good," he whispered into her skin before he sat up and pulled the covers off of them both, "because I'm going to take off your nightgown now...if that's okay."

Rey nodded, afraid to break the spell. She would have settled for a few kisses, but things were now heading beyond what she could have hoped for and she was desperate for it to continue.

With a few gentle tugs, Ben lifted her nightgown off of her, leaving her naked save for her panties.

Her first instinct was to cover herself, even though she could still remember how completely naked she had been in front of Ben only the night before, when he had helped her off her wet clothes. Her actions seemed to endear him however, making a smile light up on his face.

"No need to be shy with me, sweetheart." He held her wrists tenderly and uncrossed her arms from her chest, his eyes now transfixed on her breasts. "Beautiful."

"I'm sorry they're so small," she said in a small voice, looking away as she did.

"Don't be. They're perfect..." he cooed and leaned down to take one of her breasts into his mouth while kneading the other with his large hand. Rey bit her lip, embarrassed by the sounds coming out of her lips. "Don't hold yourself back, sweetheart. It's just us now."

That was enough to make Rey moan out loud, and she grabbed the sides of her pillow as Ben trailed a hand from her breast, down the flat of her stomach, and into her panties.

She hissed when she felt his fingers on her clit once more, circling and rubbing it until she could feel it throb. He stopped unexpectedly, and she watched as he moved between her legs, tracing the wet spot on her panties with a finger. She whimpered.

"I want to see you, Rey," he said softly, still rubbing the spot where her clit was. "I want to see all of you. May I?"

She wasn't sure what he meant, and it was only when she saw him hook his thumbs into the waistband of her panties that she understood. "B-Ben..."

"It's okay if you don't want to," he assured, and unhooked his thumbs from her underwear. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

That touched Rey more than she ever thought it could. She wanted to please him. Wanted so much for him to be happy that she slowly nodded her approval, and he once again gave her that smile which warmed her heart.

Gingerly, he took off her panties, sliding them down her legs and setting them aside. Rey squeezed her thighs together. She was completely naked in front of Ben, but unlike the night before, this wasn't borne out of necessity, and she felt herself blush furiously when Ben wouldn't stop staring at her special place.

"Such a beautiful pussy you have, Rey." Ben encouraged her legs to open up before he reached down to part her labia with his thumb and forefinger. "So pink and wet for me..."

"P-Pussy?" Rey repeated the word.

"Another word for your vagina," Ben explained patiently, his eyes still transfixed on her...pussy. "Another word is cunt."

Growing self-conscious from all his attention, Rey put her hands on her face, parting her fingers a little so she could still see him. "Don't look at it so much. It's embarrassing."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby girl," Ben chuckled. "If it makes you feel better, I can get naked too."

"Wha—Ben? I—"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. Ben had been too quick to take off his pajamas, and before her sprang the first real penis she had ever seen in her entire life.

 _Monstrous_ was the word that came to mind as her eyes took it in—the mushroom-like head which was almost an angry purple, the veins which throbbed along its length. The pictures in her anatomy book didn't prepare her for such a sight, and she could do nothing but gape at it, gasping when she saw it twitch. It was so huge, how would it ever fit inside her?

"Rey?" Ben asked, concerned.

"Your penis is so big!" Rey exclaimed, sitting up a little and propping herself up with her hands. "I...I can't fit that inside me."

Ben almost laughed. He seemed very happy, and despite her initial fears of his penis, she was very pleased to see a constant smile on his face. "Call it a cock, sweetheart. And you flatter me, but we're not going to have sex."

All the tension left Rey's shoulders. "What are we going to do?"

"Just make each other feel good," Ben mumbled, then crawled on top of her to kiss her again, "And make you forget..."

Rey moaned into his mouth. She could feel the underside of his...cock...brushing against her clit, and she felt herself grow wetter. Her body wanted it, wanted to be filled up by him, to be full of him, but she was still too scared. Ben must've sensed it because he drew his cock away and planted soft, reassuring kisses down her throat and to her belly before he settled himself between her thighs. She could feel his hot breath on her pussy, and she looked down to stare at him questioningly. She was about to ask what he was going to do when he suddenly plunged his tongue between her pussy lips, fluttering it against her clit.

Rey threw her head back and almost shrieked. It was as if her whole spine was being electrified, and she arched her back, her hands grabbing Ben's head and clawing at his hair as he lapped up her juices.

"B-Ben...th-that's d-dirty down there!" she managed to breathe out between gasps, even as she didn't want him to stop. Oh God, it felt too good.

She felt rather than saw Ben smile, and he continued his attentions on her clit, sucking, kissing and licking until she was left weak-kneed. She felt him open his mouth wide to take all of her in, felt his lips moving over the entirety of her pussy and suckle it as though he were a man dying of a thirst that only she could quench.

Then, in one swift move, he slipped his tongue inside her.

Rey could only gasp. She had never had anything inside her pussy before, and she never imagined it would be Ben's tongue wriggling in there first. It far from filled up the emptiness inside of her, but it sent a thrill up and down her spine nonetheless, especially when he moved a thumb to toy with her clit while he continued to plunder her pussy with his tongue.

Ben's ministrations continued, and Rey's moans became shriller and shriller as she felt that pressure...that lovely pressure build up in her tummy, until she finally snapped and screamed, the sensations rolling around in waves, making her whole body seize before the last of the sensations faded away, and she was left breathing heavily on her mattress, legs splayed and with Ben still latched on to her.

With one last kiss to her still sensitive clit, Ben knelt between her legs and began furiously stroking the length of his cock. Rey watched in awe as the head seemed to grow darker in color, her eyes widening when Ben let out a shout, his cock spewing white, gooey liquid over her pussy, her stomach, her breasts.

Without thinking, she reached out and took some of the liquid in her fingers, moving it in front of her face so she could examine it. It smelled almost like bleach, but with a musk that was undeniably Ben.

As though he read the questions in her face, Ben said, "That, my dear, is semen, though it's usually just called cum."

"Semen?" Rey recalled the term from her anatomy book. She had a pretty good memory of that book's contents, and in a small voice, asked, "Did we just...make a baby?"

Ben smiled. He seemed to be doing that a lot more lately. "No, sweetheart. You only make a baby when you have actual sex. What we were doing was just making each other feel good, though it won't stop us from having an orgasm."

"Orgasm?" Rey questioned.

"My sweet innocent angel," Ben mumbled as he took his discarded pajama pants and began wiping the cum off her body. "It's when you reach the peak of sexual pleasure. You know that intense feeling you get after we do this, like there's an explosion within you? That's an orgasm."

Rey nodded in understanding. "You've taught me a lot today, Ben."

"Oh, sweetheart." Ben crawled to her side and kissed her on the lips again. "I still have a lot to teach you, if you'll let me."

"I'll let you," she said quickly, earning her another kiss from Ben.

"My baby girl...so eager..."

They stayed that way for a while, lazily kissing and touching each other until Ben stopped.

"I think it's time for breakfast. All this excitement has made me hungry," he declared and stood up from bed before leaning over to scoop her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. "But first, I think a nice warm bath is in order."

Rey giggled as Ben carried her to the bathroom. Bathing with Ben would be another first for her, and she began to wonder what else he would be able to teach her. It was all that filled her thoughts now—no more bad memories from Poe Dameron; just good ones from Ben Solo and all the other possibilities in store for them.

She could hardly wait.

* * *

 **A/N:** For the next chapters, I will keep up the warning. Warning for Explicit Sexual Content and Consensual Underage Sexual Activities.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters


	22. Chapter 22: Daddy

A/N: Warning for underage extremely sexual and explicit themes

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters.

* * *

Ben couldn't have imagined how things would end up. Not even twenty four hours ago, he had been distraught, felt murder run in his veins and now...now he could feel nothing but tenderness as he and Rey shampooed each other's hair in the tub, lathering until their heads were a crown of white foam.

Rey giggled and rubbed her hands together with the foam before blowing into her cupped hands to make a bubble. She made a big one before it popped, and the smile on her face dazzled him with its brightness. Even though she was a teenager, she was still very much a kid, but he couldn't allow himself to feel guilty over it anymore. In the last few hours, he had finally come to accept what he had always known—that he wanted to be with her, to bask in her presence, to enjoy her smiles, her laughter, her company—he wanted her, and as soon as he had accepted that, he felt the heaviness that had been in his chest for weeks lift away, and he could finally breathe. With her, he finally felt alive.

Ben leaned over to kiss her on the nose. What he and Rey had was nothing like what he had with Annabelle. Annabelle was like wildfire—all consuming, destructive. She dominated him, manipulated him, introduced him to the ways of the flesh and left him begging for more. Rey was more of a candlelight—soft and inviting...and dare he say romantic. He wanted nothing more than to nurture her, to show her what she could become. The fire she had in her didn't consume but enlightened, and like a moth, he was drawn to its warmth. He couldn't stay away anymore.

But it was still so new, so fragile what they had that he knew he had to tread lightly. The world would never understand and even a part of him remained adamant that he should not be going into this...relationship with her. But there was no going back from this, he thought. And he didn't want to. After years of being alone, and weeks of agony, he wasn't going to deny himself anymore.

Kissing her had changed everything. He wasn't lying when he said he avoided kissing her because he felt too much. A single kiss from Annabelle had turned him into a goner. With Rey, however, things seemed more intense, the feelings in his chest overwhelming him to the point of fright, but he had finally gained the courage to face it and accept it.

He took the showerhead and rinsed the shampoo off their hair. Once done, he rose to his feet and stepped out of the tub, ready to get the towel when he caught Rey staring at him.

In particular, she was staring at his now flaccid cock.

"Are all penises as big as yours?" she asked from the tub, and he felt his ego do somersaults.

"Penises come in all shapes and sizes. And let's call it cock, sweetheart."

"Cock," she repeated, and he felt himself stir. He always did find the less clinical terms hot, and it was hotter coming from Rey's lips.

Rey stepped out of the bath tub, dripping in all her naked glory, her eyes never leaving his cock. "It looks less scary like that. I...I think it can fit in me now."

Oh God, he thought. She was still thinking about sex. "Baby girl, it can't go in unless it's erect. Otherwise, it's just soft and floppy." He considered her for a moment, saw the curiosity in her face and asked, "Would you like to touch it?"

Rey looked at him then, surprise and excitement in her eyes as she considered his offer before she finally nodded.

He had her sit on the closed toilet seat before he presented himself to her. If she were standing or kneeling, their height difference would have made it difficult for her to be comfortable while examining him closely, so her sitting was the best option.

Gingerly, she reached out and encircled her fingers around his cock. Ben let out a guttural groan.

"Does it feel good when I touch it?" Rey asked, gently moving her hand up and down his length, mimicking what he had done to himself earlier before he came all over her stomach.

"Y-Yes, baby girl. Feels good." He could barely get the words out. She wasn't practiced by any stretch of the imagination, but the fact that it was her hand around him made it so erotic. "Squeeze a little, but not too hard. Move your hand up and down. A little faster. Yes, that's it."

He continued to encourage her as he watched her, watched as her beautiful face scrunched up in concentration while she pleasured him, watched as her hazel eyes widened when his cock hardened.

"It's big and hard again," Rey declared, this time stroking his length with both hands.

"That's because you made me aroused, baby girl."

"Aroused?"

"Sexually excited," he explained patiently, then licked his lips as he asked, "Can you kiss it for me?"

The look of disgust on her face should have made him recoil. Instead, it made him laugh. He had half-expected that reaction. Otherwise she wouldn't be Rey. "It's not so bad, sweetheart. I kissed your pussy and I turned out fine."

"Would it make you feel good if I kissed it?" she asked, hands still moving up and down his stiff cock.

"Yes," Ben groaned. "Yes, it would."

Rey was still hesitant to try it, but after a while, she moved her face forward and planted a chaste kiss on the tip.

Ben moaned. He wanted to feel more of those lips. "Kiss it deeply, baby. Part your lips for me and use your tongue on it."

Rey did as she was told, opening her mouth part way to accommodate the head while running her tongue along the underside of it. Ben swore under his breath as she clamped her lips down on him a little, the delicious thrill of it leaving him wanting to feel more, needing to feel more.

He cupped her face and had her look up at him, and the sight of her staring at him while the tip of his cock was enveloped in her mouth almost sent him over the edge. "Sweetheart, you want Daddy to feel good, right?"

He had only referred to himself as 'Daddy' once, and like before, he was too lust-addled to care about the implications. Rey nodded, his cock bouncing a little in her mouth and he shivered.

"Okay...I want you to open your mouth wide and suck on Daddy's cock," he growled, and not even a second later, she accommodated him, allowing him to push more of his cock inside her mouth, and he relished in the luscious sensations enveloping him. "Th-that's it. No teeth, baby girl. Hollow your cheeks and suck it."

Rey was only too eager to oblige, only to eager to please him, and he felt himself sink further into pleasure, though he stopped half way, not wanting to choke her.

"Don't stop sucking, sweetheart, and don't forget to breathe through your nose," he instructed as he held her head and slowly began moving his hips back and forth, chasing her damp warmth. "Fuck, Rey, your mouth feels so good..."

Her mouth was warm, wet and inviting—the closest thing he could get to her pussy, and it drove him crazy. He hadn't had a blowjob in so long that it all felt so new to him, and he had to restrain himself from just fucking her mouth senseless. He didn't want to scare her with his ardour, and so he continued to thrust gently until he found a good rhythm, and Rey bobbed her head in time with his thrusts.

"You're doing so good, baby girl," he cooed. "So good for me, ah...I'm going to cum soon..."

He hastened his thrusts, careful not to push too deeply into Rey's mouth as he chased after that electrifying friction. She could barely take him half way after all, and her mouth was stretched to its limit.

With one last push, he unleashed himself into her, and she felt him hold on to his hips fast as he came down her throat, euphoria making him unable to speak except in groans. He felt his knees tremble when Rey continued to suck, and he had to pull away lest he be drained of all he had.

He chucked her chin up with a thumb and forefinger, wiping away the streak of cum trickling down the corner of her lips. "Did you drink all of Daddy's cum baby?"

Rey nodded, then grimaced a little. "It tasted a bit bitter."

"You did wonderfully, sweetheart." He knelt down and kissed her on the lips, tasting himself on her tongue. He would not allow her to regret this.

"Did I really do good...Daddy?" Rey asked shyly, and if he hadn't just had an amazing orgasm, Ben thought he might grow hard again right there and then.

"Really good." He smiled and kissed her again. "Now it's Daddy's turn..."

He settled himself between her legs and parted them, exposing the glistening pink of her pussy, and it pleased him when he saw how wet she was. "Did sucking Daddy's cock make you wet, baby? That's so precious..."

He dove in and began licking her clit in earnest, making her moans echo throughout the bathroom. He rearranged her so now she had both legs over his shoulder, giving him better access to her dripping cunt.

Once he had had his fill of her juices, he made his first attempt at penetrating her with a finger.

Rey's reaction was almost instant, jerking back and looking at him in astonishment. "Ben!"

"It's okay, baby girl, it's okay," he reassured, kissing her clit and running his nose across her dark curls. "Daddy just wants to show you something...make you feel good..."

He pulled back a little so he could see his forefinger enter her slick folds, and he felt her inner walls tighten around the digit. She was so small, so tight, yet so wet that his finger easily slid in and out, and soon, Rey's grimace turned into a look of utmost bliss as he searched and found a spot that made her moan louder.

He tried a second finger next, stretching her out little by little, though careful not to push too far. He didn't want to deflower her at that moment. Not with his fingers anyway. "How does it feel, sweetheart?"

"F-Full..." Rey manage to croak. "Stings a little...when you stretch me like that...but feels good..."

Ben smiled and used his other hand to toy with Rey's clit while his two fingers plunged in and out of her, and not for the first time, he wished it was his cock ramming inside her tight little pussy instead.

He continued with his attentions, alternating from thumbing her clit to licking it, all the while moving his fingers in and out of her folds. Rey continued to moan incessantly, until she finally cried out in ecstasy, her body trembling as her orgasm rocked through her.

With a wolfish grin, Ben took out his fingers and licked them clean, making sure that Rey watched him as he did. Her cheeks were a bright pink now—perhaps from embarrassment, perhaps from the afterglow of their activities and he stared at her for a while, marveling at how beautifully spent she looked.

"You were amazing, sweetheart," he continued to praise her, and she smiled back, only too happy to receive the praise. "Now, let's get you cleaned up and we'll head down for breakfast."

Towelling himself down and then her, they both exited Rey's bedroom in long silk sleeping robes, walking hand in hand as they trekked to the dining room, letting go only when Threepio came in with the meals.

Breakfast consisted of Hungarian sausages and eggs with a side of mixed vegetables. Rey made a joke of rearranging her food so now the sausage was flanked by two eggs in what was clearly phallic imagery and Ben had to make her rearrange her food quickly before Threepio came in again.

"It's not as big as yours though, Daddy," Rey giggled, poking at her sausage and Ben felt himself grow red in the face.

"Sweetheart," he said gently, putting a tender hand on hers, "You don't call me 'Daddy' out in the open, okay? It's just between you and me."

"Okay Da—I mean Ben," Rey grinned, and proceeded to eat her food.

They spent the rest of that Sunday together, this time in Ben's bedroom, discovering and exploring each other in the privacy of its walls, coming out only to eat before losing themselves in each other again. It was as if all their pent up hunger for each other had finally been given a chance at being satiated, and they couldn't get enough. It got so Rey skipped school the next day, and Ben took a day off of work just so they could be together a day more. Rey even had to turn off her phone to avoid the constant calls from Rose and Finn.

Ben was particularly careful to reign himself in. With every kiss, every touch, every caress, he was getting dangerously close to claiming all of her when he knew she wasn't ready. Not yet. And he had to remind himself that if that day were to come, that it had to be special. It had to be perfect. It wouldn't be like the night he lost his virginity to Annabelle, where all she did was take and take and take. With Rey, it would be different. He would give as much as take, and she would do the same.

"I don't want this day to be over," Rey mumbled into his chest as she lay on top of him, her sweat mingling with his as the last vestiges of their recent orgasm faded away. "I don't even want to go to school tomorrow. I just want to spend all week with you."

"Sweetheart, you know I have work to do. And you already missed school today." He tucked her hair behind her ear as had become his habit and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "Don't worry. Friday will come soon enough and I'll still be here, waiting 'til you get back."

"But..."

"But what?"

"I...I can't face Poe."

He looked at her then, saw the fear evident in her face and he felt his blood curdle. What Dameron did had traumatized Rey, and he once again entertained fantasies of the violent kind involving that boy.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, Rey," he reassured, staving off his anger and running his fingers through her brown strands. "I can drop you off at school tomorrow. We can face him together."

That made Rey prop herself up on his chest. "You're not going to hurt him, are you?"

"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt him...too much."

"Ben."

Ben sighed. "Tell you what. Why don't I talk to the headmistress? I could file a formal complaint."

"Are you sure that's okay?" Rey frowned. "I don't want any trouble."

"Dameron invited trouble the moment he touched you," Ben said sternly before his features softened. "Trust me on this, sweetheart. I'll take care of everything." He paused for a moment, looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "I'll take care of you."

Rey smiled, and he felt himself melt all over again. He would take care of her, he thought, and this time, it would no longer be because of the promise he had made to her dead mother. He would take care of her because he truly wanted to.


	23. Chapter 23: Slut

**A/N: WARNING FOR UNDERAGE SEXUAL CONTENT. Long-ish chapter with plot.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters**

* * *

Rey bit her fist to keep herself from moaning. It was Tuesday morning, and the servants were already up and about. She herself was supposed to already be in the car a while ago, but instead, she was in Ben's study, back pressed against the door, one leg hooked over his shoulder as he, in his own words, 'ate her out'.

Ben was insatiable. It wasn't enough that they had spent two whole days in each other's arms and slept on the same bed, but he just had to have her while she was wearing her school uniform and he in his suit. He had always wanted to do this, he had said, ever since he first saw her in uniform, and Rey had only been too eager to oblige.

Her eagerness however, had caused her to be late for class. Caused him to be late for work. At the moment though, she didn't care. All she wanted was to chase that high with him, to climb up to the heavens until they both crashed back to earth.

It was the last time they would be able to do this until she came back from boarding school on Friday.

One more lick, and Rey came undone, almost drawing blood as she continued to bite her hand to muffle her cries. Once she finished, Ben emerged from under her skirt, lips coated with her slick as he stood up and unzipped his pants, freeing his throbbing cock to her.

She knew what she had to do.

Kneeling before him, she held his cock in place and sucked on it, moving her head back and forth as she took his length in her mouth, tasting the salt in his skin.

"Fuck, baby girl, you're getting good at this," Ben whispered, his face contorted in bliss, his hands carding her hair. "Mmm...you're gonna make me cum."

If Rey could smile, she would have. There was something so powerful about sucking Ben off. Maybe it was because he was at her mercy. Maybe it was because she was the one giving him pleasure. Or maybe both. Whatever the case may be, she had grown to enjoy doing it, even found herself titillated by it.

It didn't take long for Ben to spill forth inside her, and she allowed the warmth of his cum to slide down her throat as she sucked every last drop he could give. Once he finished, he grabbed her off the floor and kissed her torridly, exploring her mouth with his tongue until he was left breathless.

"There. That should tide us over 'til you get back," he said in between breaths after he had ended the kiss. Zipping himself up again, he walked over to the desk to grab a box of tissues, picking up Rey's discarded panties along the way. "Clean yourself up, sweetheart. Can't have you smelling like cum in school."

Rey did as she was told, wiping the slick from between her legs, after which Ben helped her put her panties back on. After straightening her hair and uniform, she took a peek outside the study, making sure there was nobody around.

"Coast is clear," she declared and opened the door. She and Ben quietly slipped out of the study and hurried out of the house where they found Artoo waiting in the Benz.

"You'll text me won't you?" Ben asked as they got into the backseat, and Artoo drove off. Rey almost rolled her eyes with a smile. As if she wouldn't communicate with him after all this, she thought.

"Of course I will. I'll even call," she assured, then took out her phone and looked at the black screen in confusion until she remembered she had forgotten to turn it back on after she had shut it off to stop Rose and Finn from calling her.

She turned on the phone and almost immediately after the boot up sequence, her inbox blew up with text messages and voicemail, all from Rose and Finn. Nearly all of the messages were from Monday, when she had skipped class.

 ** _Finn_** _  
Rey, where are you? Not going to class today?_

 ** _Rose_** _  
You okay, Rey? You missed class._

 ** _Finn_** _  
You're not sick are you?_

 ** _Rose_** _  
Been trying to call but can't seem to reach you. Hope you're okay._

 ** _Finn_** _  
Rey, Rose and I need to talk to you. Please answer._

 ** _Rose_** _  
Rey, answer your phone please._

Then, there were messages from earlier that morning.

 ** _Finn_** _  
Hey, Rey, we really need to talk_

 ** _Rose_** _  
Classes are about to start. Where are you?_

 ** _Finn_** _  
Are you going to be absent today too? Please call us._

 ** _Rose_** _  
Rey, I didn't want to say this over text. I was hoping to be able to talk to you first, but Poe's been saying a lot of stuff about you and what happened last Saturday. Is it true?_

It was that last message from Rose that took Rey from her earlier exhilaration to sudden dread. She tried to call Rose, but it led to voicemail, and she imagined her friend was probably still in class.

She fired back a message.

 ** _Rey_** _  
On my way to school. Was sick yesterday. What did Poe say about me?_

She waited for a reply. And waited. And waited. She began fidgeting in her seat, willing for the message notification to chime but it didn't, and with each passing moment, the dread loomed larger and larger.

She felt Ben's hand on hers, and it brought her back to the present. "Rey? Are you alright?"

She stared at the genuine concern in his face, and she wondered if she should tell him. Then again, she wasn't sure yet what Rose was talking about. She didn't want him to worry needlessly.

"It's nothing, Ben." She moved her hand so now she had her fingers were entangled with his. She didn't want to lie entirely, so she added, "I'm just worried about this whole situation with Poe."

"Don't be. I told you. I'll take care of it." She saw him look at the back of Artoo's head for a moment before quickly pulling her hand up to kiss her knuckle.

Rey blushed. Ben lowered their hands, keeping them at his side. They both had been careful not to be overly affectionate with one another in front of the servants, but there were just times like these when they would try to steal a moment or two, and Rey found it both endearing and exciting.

Momentarily forgetting about Poe, she asked, "Did you miss a lot of things at work yesterday?"

"Not much," Ben replied, caressing her knuckle with a thumb. "I mean, there's that supplier that's trying to undermine us, but my assistant was able to handle things without me. Which is good. I was also supposed to meet with a potential client, but I had it moved for later today. If all goes well, it could be lucrative for us..."

Ben talked more about his work, and though Rey had only the barest knowledge of the inner workings of Solo Shipping Enterprises, she nodded at appropriate times, asked questions when she could, and listened to what he had to say. She could tell he was passionate about his job, just as he was passionate about other aspects in his life.

Seeming to catch himself, Ben apologized, "I'm sorry. All this talk about work must be boring to you."

"No, not at all." Rey squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I like listening to you and hearing about what you do at work. You seem to really love your job."

"Not always," Ben chuckled. "As with everything else, it has its ups and downs. I used to really hate it. My parents raised me to take over one day when all I wanted to do was travel and explore the world. Then they died and I was suddenly forced to step in. I had to learn to love it otherwise the company would sink. I didn't want the legacy of my parents to crash and burn under my hands."

Rey thought about what he had just said for a moment. "So if your parents hadn't died...you would have traveled the world?"

"I probably would have," Ben sighed, and Rey sensed the longing in his voice. "I was so cooped up at home and later at school that I just wanted to break free from all that. Gain new experiences. See new things. I had it all planned out. But life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. In the end, the only trip out of country I ever went to was that honeymoon trip to the Maldives with Annabelle..."

The atmosphere in the car suddenly turned somber at the mention of Annabelle, and Ben stared off contemplatively.

Curious, Rey asked, "What was Mother like?"

Ben looked at her with shadowed eyes. "You already know what your mother was like, Rey."

"Yes, but I've yet to hear it from you," Rey pointed out. "I'm just curious as to what drew you to her...how you two met."

Ben stared at her for the longest time before turning away. It looked to Rey like he was going to cut off the conversation right there, so she was surprised when he continued. "I met her around fourteen years ago. She was nineteen. I was twenty, and still grieving the deaths of my parents. I was walking along the city bridge on a stormy night when I saw her crying in the rain. I thought she was going to jump and I stopped her. We talked. I took her home and one thing led to another and..." he trailed off, and Rey released the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Without looking at her, Ben pressed on. "She came at a dark time in my life. I was vulnerable. Naive and foolish. I believed Fate brought us together. When she told me she was pregnant with my child...I had never been happier. I thought I would finally have another family after losing mine." He smiled ruefully. "You know how that turned out. In the end...I despised her. Not only for what she did to me, but for what she's doing to you."

Rey bit her lip. It was a reminder of how Annabelle's actions had led to her encounter with Poe, and the dread she had felt earlier from Rose's text message returned.

Still, she soldiered through it, wanting the conversation with Ben to continue. "You must've loved her once. Enough to marry her."

"I loved the image she projected," Ben corrected, a faraway look in his eyes. "I didn't see the person underneath the mask until it was too late."

"And...what image did she project?"

"Kind. Innocent. Loyal. But it was all an illusion, meant to snare me into her schemes." This time, Ben turned to look at Rey, his eyes on hers as he whispered, "But you're not an illusion...are you, Rey?"

There was such pleading in his voice; a need for validation, and Rey was more than willing to give it. "I'm real, Ben."

They stared at each other in silence then, hands still intertwined, and if Artoo weren't there, Rey was certain Ben would've kissed her. She could see it in the way his gaze fell on her lips, the way his Adam's apple bobbed with a swallow, the way he leaned in closer until their shoulders touched. But she knew they had to control themselves, and so she straightened back in her seat, though her hand remained clasped in his.

He squeezed her hand three times. She squeezed back.

They passed the rest of the ride in companionable silence. By the time they got to Raddus Hall, it was nearing second period, and students were beginning to file out of classrooms, heading out for the next ones. Reluctantly letting go of Ben's hand, Rey stepped out of the vehicle with him and entered the school building while Artoo handled the luggage.

"I'll go talk to the headmistress first," Ben said. "In the meantime, go lead Artoo to your room. I'll catch up."

Ben looked around before planting a kiss on her forehead. She watched him head out into the hallways, admiring the view from behind. She found that she liked that his pants were a little on the tight side.

Catching herself, she walked along the hallways with Artoo, passing other students from various grade levels.

She slowed down. Something strange was going on. It seemed like every other student was looking at her funny, with some of them whispering and pointing. She recognized some of those students to be in the same year as Poe, as she had seen him hang out with them at times. Others were from her year.

 _"_ _Isn't that her?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her."_

 _"_ _Oh my God, but she's so young!"_

 _"_ _I can't believe she actually did it."_

Rey frowned and looked around. The students looked away guiltily, resuming their whispers once she started walking again.

"Rey?"

Rey turned and saw Rose walking tentatively towards her, books hugged to her chest. She found it strange since Rose was usually a bundle of energy, running towards her and often excitedly pulling her into a tight hug.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Rey looked around. Other students were still glancing her way. "Why does it feel like everybody's looking at me?"

Rose tightened her lips. Instead of answering, she said, "Rey...I've been trying to call you all day yesterday. Where were you?"

"I texted you. I was sick." Rey did her best to appear truthful. "Why? Did something happen?"

Rose stared at her in silence, and Rey couldn't tell if that was a worried expression on her face or a pitying one. With a sigh, Rose turned to Artoo. "Can you excuse us for a minute, sir?"

Artoo nodded, and Rose pulled Rey into a quiet corner by the bulletin boards.

"Rey...I'm not going to beat around the bush so I'll just straight up say it." Rose took a deep breath and whispered, "Poe's been telling everyone who will listen that you two had sex in his car last Saturday at Lookout Point. Is that true?"

Rey's jaw dropped. She blinked at Rose, unable to believe what she was hearing, and it took a while for her to respond. "He...he told everyone that?"

"In more crude words, yes," Rose confirmed, holding her books tighter to her chest. "He even said it was you who came on to him and that you were very insistent."

"That's not true!" Rey finally exclaimed, her voice shrill. "He was the one who tried to...he was the one who kissed me and tried to..."

"Rey, calm down," Rose tried to placate her but Rey was too distraught.

"He tried to force himself on me!" Rey cried out, tears now prickling at the corners of her eyes. Poe had betrayed her trust that night and now this? "He tried to force me, but I kicked him and escaped." She paused, waiting for Rose to respond but she didn't. "Rose. You believe me, right?"

"I told Poe that you would never do what he said you did. Finn said the same thing," Rose finally said, then lowered her eyes. "But I just can't see Poe forcing himself on anyone, least of all you. He likes you."

"Likes me?" Rey repeated. Everything from that night—everything Poe did and said—it all came back to her, and like a dam unleashed, Rey spilled out the truth. "He hates me! He hates me because my mother had an affair with his father and his mother killed herself for it."

That stunned Rose. Rey felt her shoulders heave with her breaths as she watched her friend absorb what she had just revealed.

After a time, Rose said, "Rey...don't you think that's a little...convoluted?"

"You don't believe me," Rey said in disbelief and took a few steps back.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you," Rose defended. "It's just that...why would Poe even hate you for something you didn't do?"

"Because he's crazy, that's why!" Rey shrieked. Already they were attracting the attention of others but she didn't care. She was too hurt from Rose's apparent lack of belief in her. "I can't believe you're even defending him after what he did to me!"

"Rey, I'm not defending him. I'm—"

Rey didn't let Rose finish her sentence. She simply turned and stomped away to the direction of the dormitories, Artoo hurrying to follow her. She was fuming and hurting all at the same time, and she wiped away the angry tears running down her cheeks. How could Rose do this to her? How could she not believe her?

Still seething, she started for the steps of a staircase when she bumped into a girl coming down the stairs. She muttered her apologies when the girl exclaimed, "Well, if it's isn't little miss slut."

She knew that voice. She rarely heard it but knew who it was. She looked up and sure enough, found Kaydel Ko Connix, staring down at her while putting on some red lipstick.

"Isn't there a rule against wearing make up in school?" Rey asked testily. She didn't mean to sound so catty but Kaydel hadn't exactly called her by a nice word.

"Isn't there a rule against dating your friends' ex-boyfriends?" Kaydel shot back.

"We're not friends," Rey said through gritted teeth. "And I'm not dating Poe. Your crazy ex-boyfriend tried to force himself on me."

"Oh, so that's the story you're going with?" Kaydel chuckled then leaned in, hands on her knees. "You ought to be thankful that Poe's bragging about tapping your ass. Now the whole school knows about you. You're famous!"

Rey bristled. "You're sick in the head."

"And you're a slut," Kaydel retorted, her voice silky yet full of venom as she stood back up to her full height and shifted her backpack from one shoulder to the other. "But I'm going to be the nice girl and congratulate you on fucking Poe Dameron. He's a good fuck. You should enjoy more of it."

Disgusted, Rey stormed past her up the steps, Artoo following quietly close by. Finally arriving at the hallway that led to her room, she hurried to her door and tried to insert her key in when she noticed the door was slightly ajar.

Alarm set in. Either she had forgotten to lock her door last week or someone had been in her room.

Her heart pounding hard, she reached for the knob and opened the door, the blood draining away from her face when she saw what was inside.

* * *

"This is a very serious allegation, Benjamin," Amilyn Holdo said after Ben told her everything he knew. "Have you contacted the police?"

"I don't want the police involved. I just want this kid expelled," Ben stressed, his brows meeting in barely concealed anger. Having to relay the events as Rey had told him had stoked the fires of his rage, and he was having difficulties reigning himself in. "I don't want my stepdaughter going to the same school as a would-be-rapist."

"It's not going to be as quick or as easy as that," Amilyn sighed. "We will need to conduct a thorough investigation. It's going to take some time."

"So you're saying Rey has to breathe the same air as that bastard while you investigate?" Ben demanded. "For Christ's sake, Auntie Amilyn! Rey's traumatized. I'd barely been able to convince her to go back to school because of that boy."

"Yes, I understand." Amilyn nodded. "But we have protocols that need to be followed in cases such as these, and we will actually do our part in ensuring Rey is separated from her alleged attacker."

"Alleged?" Ben repeated incredulously. "Poe Dameron _is_ her attacker. Rey would never lie, especially not about this."

"Benjamin, there is such a thing as 'innocent until proven guilty'," Amilyn reminded patiently, and for the life of him, he couldn't understand how she could remain calm when he was angry enough to start throwing things around. "Now, we can start by having me talk to Rey, so we can proceed further with the complaint."

"Fine," Ben huffed and stood up from his seat, took out his phone and dialed Rey's number. It took quite a few rings before she answered. "Hello, Rey? Are you still in your dorm room or are you already in class?"

"Ben..."

He froze. Rey sounded small. Frightened. And she sounded like she was crying. "Rey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"M-my room," she sobbed. "Th-they did something to my room."

"I'll be right there. Just stay put, alright?" Ben ended the call and turned to Amilyn. "Something's happened in Rey's room. I have to go."

"I'll go with you," Amilyn offered, and together, they hurried through the hallways and the staircases with Ben several steps ahead of the headmistress.

Soon enough, they got to the dormitories and Ben quickly hurried inside Rey's open door. "Rey, what—"

Ben stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with shock. The room had been completely vandalized, with the walls spray painted in bright red with the word 'SLUT' over and over. The same words were all over the dresser mirror, except this time it was written with what looked to Ben like red lipstick.

Ben turned around. Everywhere in the room was the word 'SLUT', and at the center of it all stood Rey, sobbing as Artoo put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Rey..." Ben hurried over to her and immediately pulled her in his arms, allowing her to bawl in his chest. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm here."

"H-He told everyone, Ben," Rey sobbed, tears running fast and hot down her cheeks. "Poe told everyone that he and I had sex in his car. They all believe him and now someone...someone did this and..."

"Shhh. It's okay," he whispered and kissed the top of her head, trying to remain calm for her even as he was shaking with rage.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Amilyn looking around the room in shock. He let go of Rey and approached the headmistress, who stilled when she saw the look on his face.

"Benjamin," she began, "I know you're upset right now, but let's keep a cool head. We'll get to the bottom of this and—"

"Where is he?" Ben's voice was dead calm. "Where's Poe Dameron?"

"I...don't know." Amilyn looked away.

"Oh, I think you do, Auntie Amilyn," Ben said through clenched teeth. "Now you better tell me something or your school will lose a major benefactor."

The threat was serious, and it was clear Amilyn knew it. "I'll...have him called to my office. But you have to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior."

Ben grunted his yes. Amilyn nodded and took out her phone to make a call. While she did, Ben returned to Rey's side and knelt in front of her, wiping her tears away with a thumb.

"Baby..." he whispered, "You'll be face to face with that Dameron boy soon so you're going to have to be strong, alright? I'll be there to protect you, so don't be afraid."

Rey sniffled and nodded. Ben badly wanted to kiss her, to reassure her that everything would be alright but he managed to hold himself back.

"Alright." Amilyn interrupted them with a sigh. "I've called his teacher. He should be in my office in a few minutes. We should head back."

Ben got up and took Rey's hand as they followed Amilyn back to the administration building while Artoo returned to the Benz with the luggage. Once in her office, Amilyn had Ben and Rey sit on chairs at one side in front of desk, while an empty chair, presumably for Poe, sat empty on the other side.

They didn't have to wait long before knocks echoed from the door.

"Come in," Amilyn called out, and the door opened to reveal a nervous Poe Dameron poking his head in.

He froze when he saw Ben and Rey, and if it wasn't for Rey tightening her grip on his hand, Ben would've leapt off his chair and punched the living daylights out of him. Instead, he settled for a death glare, which worked at turning Poe's tan skin pale.

"Mr. Dameron?" Amilyn asked, and Poe blinked.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Have a seat, please."

Poe entered the room in slow, measured steps, this time not even daring to look at Ben and Rey as he took his seat.

"Mr. Dameron, do you know why you're here?" Amilyn asked.

"I can't say I do, Ma'am," Poe denied, his voice surprisingly steady.

"Liar!" Rey snapped unexpectedly, and Ben stared at her, surprised by the fire in her voice even as her hand trembled in his. "You know exactly why you're here, Poe Dameron. Stop lying and tell the truth!"

"What's there to tell?" Poe drawled, seeming to have gained confidence as he turned to Rey and smirked. "You came on to me and we had sex in my car. I only did it because you wanted it."

Ben was shaking now, his hand tightening around Rey's, his self-control starting to wear dangerously thin.

"I didn't want it. You tried to force me and you know it." Rey's voice was still strong, though Ben could hear the faintest hint of a sob coming on.

"Mr. Dameron," Amilyn called his attention, "It seems you _do_ know why you are here. Tell me again why we should believe you."

"Because she really did want it," Poe insisted. "She's a slut, just like her mother."

Ben was off his seat in a split second, and with a strength he didn't know he had, lifted Poe off his seat and threw him against the wall.

Poe's eyes bugged out of their sockets. "What the fu—"

His words were cut by Ben's fist connecting with his jaw.

"Benjamin!" Amilyn tried to put a hand on Ben's shoulder but he brushed her off and turned Poe around, slamming him against the wall and twisting his arm painfully up to his back, his other hand pressing hard on the boy's head.

"Ah! Motherfucker, you're going to break my arm!"

"I'm going to break more than just your fucking arm if you don't start telling the truth!" Ben threatened, pulling at Poe's arm until he yelped. "Now say it!"

"Benjamin, stop!"

"Ben, please!"

He couldn't hear Amilyn and Rey's cries through the screams of his own rage. Only Poe's yelps and whimpers seemed to satiate him, and he twisted the boy's arm some more, wanting to hear him in pain, twisting just short of hearing the crunch of bones and joints.

"Say it, Dameron!" A twist. A cry. A yelp. "Tell the truth!"

"Alright, alright! I tried to rape her!" Poe finally admitted, crying in pain as he did so.

Ben still wouldn't let go. "What else?"

"I told you, man! I tried to force her to have sex and—"

"Admit that you lied to everyone about what happened!" Ben demanded. "Admit it!"

"Okay, okay! I told everyone Rey wanted it but she didn't!"

Ben tightened his grip on Poe's head, and the boy gurgled on his own saliva. "Now, admit that you vandalized her room."

"V-Vandalized?" Poe seemed genuinely confused. "I didn't vandalize anything—ow! Ow! My arm!"

"I'll break it if you continue to lie!" Ben seethed. "Did you or did you not vandalize her room?"

"I've been telling the truth!" Poe cried out, wincing in pain as Ben twisted his arm a little more. "I tried to rape her, I lied to everyone about it but I didn't vandalize her room!"

Ben considered Poe for a moment, watching the boy's erratic breathing as he endured the pain. He had no proof of Poe's involvement with what happened to Rey's room except the circumstances, so he pulled Poe off the wall and shoved him to Amilyn Holdo. "There. There's your confession. Now do your job and expel him."

"I can't, Benjamin." Amilyn shook her head as she held a whimpering Poe to her. "I can't accept a confession that's been extracted under duress."

"Well then..." Ben straightened his jacket and his tie, his anger now calm but still deadly as he said, "You just lost the school a student and a benefactor. Good luck explaining that to the board."

Without another word, he took Rey's hand and stormed out of the office with her, leaving Amilyn to call out to him, pleading him to reconsider.


	24. Chapter 24: Envy

**A/N: As always, warning for underage sexual stuff. You know what you signed up for when you first started reading this.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters**

* * *

Ben looked up from his paperwork to stare at Rey, who stood gazing out of the tall windows of his office. After all the fiasco in Raddus Hall, he had decided to bring her to work with him, if only to divert her from all that had happened. She had never been to his office before, and it had initially worked at distracting her, what with Rey looking around in awe at the hustles and bustles of the cubicles and offices as they walked past. He had even taken her to lunch at a fancy restaurant and introduced her to a few noteworthy people in the company. However, nearly all of them had the same comment:

"Is this Annabelle's daughter? She looks so much like her."

"My dear, you're the spitting image of your mother."

"Such a beautiful young lady. Just like her mother."

"You look so much like Annabelle, it's eerie!"

With each comment on her looks, Ben noticed Rey's mood grow dourer and dourer until she seemed to withdraw into herself. He hadn't had time to talk to her about it because of work, but now that things were winding down, he could finally see how much it affected her.

He put the papers down. "Rey."

Rey turned, not moving at first until he gestured for her to come to him. With a deep breath, she walked over to Ben, standing within reach of him until he encouraged her to sit on his knee, which she did. He had no qualms about being this close to her. Nobody entered his office unless his secretary buzzed them in first.

"Baby..." he began, one hand snaked around her waist, the other holding her hand. "I know this day didn't exactly go so well. I know you're going to miss your friends, but I hope you understand why I have to pull you out of that school—"

"I understand," Rey deadpanned but he could sense she was trying to keep the hurt from her voice. "And I don't have friends. Not anymore."

"Oh, sweetheart." He leaned over to kiss her but she turned away before he could, his brows meeting in concern. "Rey?"

"Ben...how much am I like my mother?" Rey asked flatly, her face turned away so he couldn't read her expression.

He tensed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, how much am I like her?" She turned to look at him then, and it unnerved Ben how expressionless her face was. "Do I really look that much like her? Sound like her? Because that's all everyone seems to notice."

"The resemblance is uncanny, I'll admit," Ben said truthfully. "And you do sound a lot like her, but—"

"Am I a slut like her too?"

Her question stunned him into silence, and he had to blink several times for it to register that it was Rey who spoke those words.

"Rey, no. You're not." Ben shook his head vehemently. "Don't let what that Dameron boy said get to you."

"Am I not acting like a slut?" Rey pursued, emotionless. "Doing the things I do with you?"

"This is different," Ben said fiercely, holding on to her hand even as she refused to let him tangle his fingers with hers. "Rey, you're not sleeping with different men. You're only being intimate with me. You're not a slut. You're not like your mother. In fact, you're everything Annabelle isn't. You're worlds better than she will ever be."

He took in a deep breath. He had said it with such passion, he was sure she would get the meaning behind his words. But when he looked into her eyes, he saw the blank expression had turned into turmoil.

"I look like her. Sound like her. But I'm better than her," she said slowly and softly, yet Ben could sense the edge in her voice. "Is that why you want to be with me, Ben? Because I'm the better version of my mother?"

Ben was stunned. That wasn't what he had meant at all. "Rey, that's not what I'm saying."

"When you look at me, who do you see?" Rey pressed on, relentless. "Do you see me, or do you see a version of my mother that you've always wanted? An illusion made real?"

The last question made Ben wince. She was throwing his own words against him and he was so blindsided, he started scrambling for the right words to say, only to come up empty. "Rey, I...I see you."

"Do you really?" she questioned, the disbelief now apparent in her tone. She extricated herself from his arms and stepped back from him. "When we get home, I'd like to sleep in my room tonight. Alone. I need to think."

"Rey…" He wanted to reach out to her, but the inches of distance between them felt more like a chasm he couldn't cross.

"Ben, please." Rey put her hands up to ward off his. "I need some space."

"Okay, sweetheart. Okay." Ben dropped his hands and watched as Rey trudged back to the window to gaze out once more.

He had never felt as hollow as he did at that moment.

* * *

The ride home in the Benz was quiet, with a clear divide between Ben and Rey. It was a stark contrast to their ride to school that morning, with their fingers meshed together and conversation pleasant and warm. Now there were no words spoken, no skin touching. Just two people sitting on opposite ends of the backseat, mulling over their own individual thoughts.

Rey pressed herself against the car door, intent on putting as much distance between her and Ben as possible. His answers to her statements and questions in his office had left her so disappointed and distressed that she could barely even think of anything else—not the lies Poe had spread about her, her vandalized dorm room, or Ben's strong-arming of Poe into a confession.

She stared out the car window, saw her reflection and quickly turned away. She hated it. Hated that she looked so much like Annabelle. What was a blessing of good looks, now seemed more like a curse, bringing with it the wrath of the likes of Poe Dameron and what she now deemed to be Ben's inability to see her for who she truly was. And it was that last part that hurt the most.

Did he see Annabelle every time he looked at her with those eyes full of adoration? Did he feel her skin whenever they touched and caressed? Taste her lips whenever they kissed?

Rey's hands bunched up on her skirt as her fingers curled into fists. She never thought she would be this envious of someone who had been dead for a long time. Especially not her own mother, who had done nothing but lied and betrayed Ben throughout the course of their marriage. She shouldn't be jealous, she thought. Like Ben said, she was worlds better than Annabelle ever was. But the fact of the matter was she was still being compared to a dead, if not imperfect mirror image of herself. She would never escape the shadow of the mother who came before her.

The Benz finally arrived in Alderaan Manor, and Rey stepped out of the vehicle as soon as it stopped in front of the house. Dinner would be ready soon, but she was in no mood to eat, especially not with Ben.

"Rey, aren't you going to have dinner with me?" Ben asked when she headed for the staircase instead of the dining room.

"I'm not hungry." She continued walking up the steps, not even bothering to look at him.

"I'll bring dinner to your room," he offered, and even without looking, Rey could sense he was starting to follow her up the stairs.

"Don't bother," she said tersely, hoping to discourage him. "I'll come down when I'm hungry."

The footsteps from behind her stopped then, and she hurried up the rest of the steps, walking briskly towards her room and making sure to slam the door shut. She remembered what it had felt like when he had avoided having dinner with her for weeks. Let him feel that pain for once, she thought bitterly. Let him feel how it was like to be rejected.

Rey changed from her school uniform into one of her long nightgowns and spent the rest of the evening stewing on her thoughts, ignoring the text messages from Rose and Finn. She didn't want to care about her so-called friends or what they think anymore, didn't want to care about what the rest of the school thought of her. She was much too caught up in the churning emotions brought about by the exchange she had with Ben to care much about anything else.

The hours passed, and the more it did, the more Rey was convinced Ben wanted her only for her resemblance to her mother; wanted her only because he thought of her as a chance to start over with a new and improved Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke. He didn't want poor little Reynabelle Eliza Snoke. She was far too young, far too small and skinny compared to the absolute mature beauty Annabelle had been. Rey knew these thoughts only served to deepen her pain, but she couldn't help herself. Pain hardened her heart, and the more it did, the more she could stop these feelings for Ben from swelling further inside her chest. She couldn't afford to feel for him more than she already did. She needed to nip it in the bud while she still could.

It was past midnight when she decided she had had enough of her grumbling stomach. Wrapping a robe around herself, she stepped out of her room and trekked to the kitchen, all the while thinking about the leftovers she could eat or the sandwiches she could make. The servants should all be asleep by now, so she would have to serve herself.

She made the turn to the kitchen and stopped at the doorway.

She wasn't alone. Ben was standing by the kitchen counter, dressed in nothing but a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, and she had to ignore the way her body reacted to the sight of his naked chest.

"Finally decided to come down for dinner, huh?" Ben asked, a small, sad smile on his lips. He looked tired, and she had a nagging suspicion that he had been here a while.

Rey wrapped her arms around herself and frowned. "What are you doing down here, Ben?"

"Can't sleep," he said, keeping his hands on the marble countertop. "Would've had a nightcap to help me sleep but I remember you telling me to lay off the alcohol, so..."

Rey bit her lip. "You don't have to do what I tell you to. You're not under any obligation to do as I say."

"I know I'm not." Ben kept his sad smile. "But I want to do it anyway. For you."

She did her best to ignore that last part. Steeling herself, she said curtly, "Did you always want to do everything my mother said too?"

Ben sighed deeply. "Not everything is about Annabelle, Rey."

"I think it is," she insisted, her dark thoughts from earlier looming over her like a cloud. "You wouldn't even want to be with me if I didn't look so much like her."

She watched Ben close his eyes slowly and lower his head, watched as he worried at his lip before he lifted his head again to look at her with pained eyes. "Rey...you deserve the truth. I confess. My attraction towards you did start out from the fact that you look like your mother. But at every turn, you proved to me that you're more than just your outer appearance." He lifted his hands off the countertop and walked around it towards her, stopping just within arm's reach of her. "You're your own person. You're smart. You make me laugh. You're charming. You're braver than you think you are. And most of all, you're genuine."

He was saying everything she needed to hear but she refused to believe it. She would rather wallow in the conclusions she came up earlier, if only to harden her heart against him.

"Genuine...unlike my mother," she almost spat. "You're able to put me on a pedestal because you stack me up against my mother's mistakes. Let's face it Ben. She didn't set the bar high at all, which makes it all too easy to see me as the better replacement."

"You're not a replacement, Rey." Ben stepped forward. "What do I have to do to make you see that?"

He was so close now that he could reach out and take her in his arms, and Rey wasn't sure whether she wanted him to or not.

"If I'm not a replacement, then tell me, Ben. How much do you really know me?" She looked up at him defiantly, arms still wrapped tightly around herself. "Do you even know my favorite color? My favorite food? My favorite flower? My favorite time of the day? No, you don't know. You don't care enough to know or ask. All you care about is seeing and feeling my mother again through me."

Ben's lips tightened into a fine line, and with his eyes not leaving hers, he backed away. "You can be very cruel when you want to be, you know that?"

"Just like my mother, huh?" Rey fired another shot, and it was clear in the way Ben's eye twitched that she had hit the mark. She knew she was being mean, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from lashing out.

They stared at each other in silence for a while, electricity seeming to cackle in the night air, and Rey wasn't sure if the tension was going to lead up to a full blown fight or lead to them tearing each other's clothes off and having their way with each other. Again, she wasn't sure which she preferred.

Ben turned his back on her. She thought he was going to finally leave, give her some reprieve from all the confusing feelings stirring inside her, but he didn't. Instead, he walked over to the refrigerator, took out a bowl of something and popped it in the microwave.

"Lilac," he said, making her look up at him in surprise. "Your favorite color is lilac. You love pastel hues but you love lilac the most." The microwave dinged, and he took out the bowl and set it on the countertop in front of Rey, the smell of spaghetti and meatballs assailing her nostrils. "For someone so sickly, you've never been particularly fussy about food. You love seafood but your childhood favorite has always been spaghetti and meatballs."

Rey didn't say anything. She couldn't. He had been right so far and she didn't know what to make of it.

"Your favorite flowers are lilies," Ben continued without skipping a beat. "When we used to visit your mother in the hospital, you would always gravitate towards the lilies by her bedside. It got so you have drawing books filled with sketches of lilies. It seems to be the only positive memory you have of Annabelle during her last days." He looked into Rey's eyes then, his eyes still full of anguish. "Your favorite time of the day is late afternoon. You love watching the sun set through your window, love the changing colors of the sky as it turns into night."

"How do you know all this?" Rey asked, bewildered, suspicious and more than a little surprised.

"I observe. I ask. Maybe not you directly, but I ask Maz when I can," Ben explained, his eyes a little softer now. "There's still a lot I don't know about you, I know, but each new thing I learn, I commit to memory, and I always look forward to learning more. Because believe it or not, I do care, Rey. More than you will ever know." He swallowed at that last part. Rey felt there was more to what he was saying, but she didn't dare hope. She couldn't afford to, especially with the way her heart was fluttering in her chest. "I'm sorry if I compared you to your mother. To be fair, I compared all the other women in my life to her. She was my first love and my first heartbreak. It's only natural I compare her to all the others that came after her."

"And how do I compare? To her and to all those other women?" she asked, curiosity now getting the best of her.

"There's no contest." Ben stepped forward once more until he was once again within arm's reach. "Rey...you've grown up to be an incredible, amazing young lady. You've made me feel more alive than I have ever felt in years. You've brightened up my life in ways that I cannot even begin to describe. And if I could change things for us, I'd change it so that I met you first before Annabelle."

Rey felt her lip quiver. She was breaking, she just knew it, and she had to tighten her grip on her shoulders to keep herself from falling apart. "Do you mean that?"

"Every word." His voice shook as he said it, and he tentatively reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She let him. "Maybe if I met you first, you'll believe me when I say I want you for you. That I see no one else when we're together but you."

That did it. That broke her, and the walls she had built around her heart came falling down along with her tears.

Ben didn't gather her in his arms like she expected him to. He didn't press. Instead, he opened his arms and waited for her to come to him.

Sobbing, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest as he returned the embrace and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry, Ben," she cried. "I'm sorry for being cruel. It's just...everything that happened in school...it was all too much. I was overwhelmed, I—"

"I know, sweetheart, I know." He knelt in front of her and cupped her small face in his large palms. "But it's all over now. You're safe here with me."

He started kissing her tears away then, moving his lips down her cheeks until his mouth was on hers, and she closed her eyes, wondering how she could have ever doubted him when the kiss told her what she should have known all along—that he cared deeply, felt deeply, for her and only her.

"My Rey," he whispered in between kisses, his voice soft and reverent as he worshipped her lips with his, "My beautiful, precious little Rey..."

He called her name over and over, as though it were a chant, a prayer, and there was nothing that could have sounded sweeter to Rey's ears than this confirmation that it was she whom he saw. She whom he was touching. She whom he was kissing. It was her. It had always been her.

Lips still on hers, he lifted her up to sit her on the counter before he moved between her legs, pulling her flush against him, the hem of her nightgown riding up to her hips as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. She gasped into his mouth at the feel of his hardened cock against her crotch, and she immediately felt herself grow wet with want.

They didn't stop kissing as Ben grinded himself against her. Didn't stop kissing as he palmed her small breasts through her nightgown. Didn't stop kissing as he slipped his hand inside her panties to rub her all too slippery clit. Kissing was their lifeline. Kept them connected. But all too soon the heat became too much, and Rey wanted to be connected to Ben in ways that kissing simply could not satisfy.

Lips and tongues still intertwined, Rey removed her hands from his shoulders so she could pull down her panties, and as soon as Ben saw this, he stopped kissing so he could help until the panties lay discarded on the floor below. His mouth was quickly on hers again, fingers now freely exploring her folds before Ben pushed two in, and Rey gasped at the sudden fullness.

"Rey...Rey...so beautiful...so wet and tight for me..." Ben continued to chant, seeming to be in a daze as his fingers probed in and out, the wet sounds of her own slick echoing pleasantly through Rey's ears.

But it wasn't enough. She wanted more. Needed more.

She needed _all_ of him.

With his fingers still deep inside her, Rey lifted her legs off of Ben and used her feet to push down his pajama bottoms, exposing his angry, weeping cock to her. She then grabbed his wrist and took his hand away from her center before pulling his whole body against her, and she almost wept when she felt his cock rubbing against her dripping cunt. Skin on skin. Flesh on intimate flesh.

"Fuck, Rey!" Ben cursed, and Rey felt a thrill shoot up her spine. He was coming undone, and so was she. They were getting drunk. Drunk from their shared, torrid kisses, drunk from their shared caresses. Now it was their most intimate parts that kissed, his cock rubbing against her clit as he moved his hips up and down, rolling it against hers.

"R-Rey...I want to...I want to..."

"Yes, Ben, yes." Rey was only too eager to nod, too eager to grant him permission. She wanted, needed, hungered for him.

She had to have him inside her or else she would die.

They gazed at each other then, both eyes glazed and half-lidded. Rey could barely think through the haze of her feelings as she spread her legs for him, eager, ready to take him into the warm embrace of her flesh. She watched him stare at her pussy with pupils blown wide. Watched him swallow as he pumped himself to get harder. Watched him align his rock hard cock to the entrance of her pussy.

He pushed through her slit and began his slow descent into her, the head pushing in between the folds, deeper into her flesh, stretching her achingly slow...

Glass shattered, breaking the spell. Rey and Ben quickly turned, the blood draining from both their faces all at once.

There, standing at the kitchen doorway, was the old servant, Maz Kanata.

* * *

 **A/N: What about that cliffhanger eh? Should I keep you guys waiting or do I post soon?**


	25. Chapter 25: Consequences

**A/N: Warning for underage sexual themes**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or its characters**

* * *

The world seemed to have stopped spinning as Ben continued to stand by the kitchen counter, his cock partially buried in Rey's wet cunt, his pajama bottoms around his ankles, Rey's hands on his shoulders and her nightgown bunched up to her waist while Maz's pale, wrinkled, bespectacled face stared at them in shock and horror. Nobody moved or breathed, and it felt like the moment lasted forever when in reality, it had only been a split second.

"I'm sorry," Maz finally said, shattering the excruciating silence as she backed away from the doorway. "I...I'm sorry!"

Ben watched Maz quickly turn and flee the scene, and he hastily moved away from Rey and pulled up his pajamas. "Maz, wait!"

He tried to run after the old maid but by the time he got to the doorway, she was gone, perhaps back to her room in the servants' wing.

He stopped and put one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his eyes as he lowered his head. Maz had seen them. They got caught. And all because they had been too caught up in the heat of the moment to even think.

He cursed inwardly. How could he have been so stupid? So careless? Now Maz, of all people, had seen them in the act—Maz who had raised Rey from infanthood. Helped raise _him_ from infanthood. He couldn't even imagine what must be going through the old woman's head, seeing her former charges together in the throes of passion. It probably wouldn't have mattered much if Rey had been of age, but the fact of the matter was she was still four years shy of being legal, and Ben was suddenly terrified of the consequences.

"Ben?"

He turned to face Rey, who had gotten off the kitchen counter and straightened her nightgown and robe, her face ashen. "Are we in trouble?"

He swallowed hard. Instead of answering, he walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace. She clung to him then, and he could sense she was frightened. What he couldn't tell her was that he was probably just as terrified as she was.

He was going to jail for this. He would never see Rey again. And it was that last thought that frightened him the most.

"It's okay," he said, sounding braver than he actually felt. "It's going to be fine. I'll talk to Maz first thing in the morning. Make her understand."

"What if she doesn't?" Rey asked, worry making her voice small. "What if she tells everyone and they break us apart?"

"She won't," Ben reassured, even as uncertainty loomed large. "Maz cares about us. I'm sure she wouldn't do anything that would harm either of us."

Rey nodded and continued to cling to him, and they held on to each other for a long time, trying to find comfort in each other before they reluctantly let go.

"Come." Ben kept one hand over Rey's shoulder. "Let's clean up the broken glass from the floor first. Then we can head to bed."

Ben did most of the cleaning to make sure Rey didn't wound herself on the slivers of glass Maz had dropped on the floor. Once done, he took her by the hand and they traversed the now quiet mansion until they reached their bedrooms.

He was about to bid her good night when she asked, "Can I sleep in your room tonight, Ben?"

It was a complete change from her earlier decision of wanting to sleep alone in her room, and Ben couldn't refuse. "Of course, sweetheart."

He led her inside his room, where she almost immediately sank into his bed.

Nothing more would happen between them that night except for a few kisses, and even those were more for comfort than desire. Their nerves were still too frayed from having been caught in the act by Maz that to do anything more invited an unexpected bout of shame. Ben hated this feeling and once again, kicked himself mentally. He should have gone directly to the bedroom with Rey when things started to become hot and heavy. Maybe then they could have still kept their relationship a secret.

Rey would be the first to sleep, while Ben would spend the next few hours just holding her in his arms and memorizing the details of her face.

These may very well be the last few moments he would still have the chance to.

* * *

Rey woke up to the morning sunlight streaming in from the windows. She blinked a few times before rubbing her eyes and stretching, groaning as she did so. The instinct to get out of bed for school almost kicked in, but she managed to remind herself that she was no longer a student of Raddus Hall.

She turned to her side and gazed at Ben's sleeping face. So much had happened yesterday that she was still trying to process it, but foremost in her mind was the memory of Maz stumbling upon them. Without the haze of lust and overpowering emotions, Rey realized just how close she had been to losing her virginity, though she wasn't sure if the fact that they had been stopped was a good thing or not. If there was anyone she would rather lose her virginity to, it would be to Ben and to Ben alone. Nevertheless, she began to wonder if the timing was right.

Or if they even still had time left together at all.

She reached out to run her hand on the side of Ben's face, feeling the beginnings of a stubble around his jaw line as she committed his features to memory—his long nose, the moles that dotted his pale skin, his full lips that had brought her to bliss.

Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't lose him. Not now, and that was when she knew she had to talk to Maz herself. Ben had already done so much to protect her. It was time she returned the favor and did what she could to protect him. Protect what they had.

Kissing him gently so as not to wake him, Rey carefully slipped out of bed and padded out of the room. The sun was still barely up, but she knew Maz would already be awake by now, if she had slept at all.

She made her way through the vast house and to the corridors which led to the servants' wing. She had only been there a few times, back when she was a child and still needed a lot of mothering from Maz, and she knew where the old maid's room was.

She arrived at Maz's door, her heart thudding in her chest as she lifted her fist to knock.

"Who is it?" came the old woman's voice. She sounded hoarse, like she had been crying.

"It's me, Maz. It's Reynabelle." The servants, including Maz, all referred to her and Ben by their first names with the exception of Threepio, who called Ben Master Solo.

It took a while for Maz to open the door, and when she did, she immediately gestured for Rey to come in, which she did.

Maz shut the door and before Rey could say anything, the old woman hurried over to embrace her. Maz was a diminutive woman, barely taller than Rey herself but she seemed to have grown smaller now.

"Dear child," Maz sniffled before pulling back, keeping her hands on Rey's shoulders. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"No, Maz," Rey shook her head. "Ben would never hurt me."

Maz's brows rose beyond the rims of her coke-bottle glasses. "But...but I saw you. He was...he was..."

"I wanted it," Rey interrupted before Maz could finish her sentence. "I wanted it, Maz. Ben and I...we're in a relationship. He would never make me do something I didn't want to do."

"No." Maz shook her head softly, denial in her voice. "No, Reynabelle. You can't...you can't be in a relationship with your stepfather."

"We're not related," Rey protested, and she was suddenly brought back to the time when Ben had tried to push her away, and she knew what Maz would say next.

"You're fourteen, and he'll be turning thirty four," Maz said, and Rey thought it was the strangest way to be reminded that Ben would be celebrating his birthday soon. "You're a child. He's an adult. Do you not see what's wrong with this picture?"

"I love him," Rey blurted out, surprising not just Maz, but herself as well. She loved him. She loved Benjamin Lucas Solo. Loved him with all her heart and soul, and she felt the warmth in her chest bloom up to her cheeks. She knew she felt deeply for him, but to finally be able to articulate it in words was...liberating.

Maz however, clearly didn't see it that way. "No. Just, no. Reynabelle, you're not in love with him. You just think you are. You're too young to understand what's happening, but he...he's taking advantage of you."

"You're the one who doesn't understand, Maz," Rey interjected, her tone now taking on an edge. She had just discovered that she was in love with Ben. She wasn't about to let anyone, not even Maz, take that away from her. "He cares for me. He protects me. He makes me feel whole. He's a good man. You should know. You helped raise him."

"I...I did..." Maz trailed off, her mind seemingly elsewhere as she let go of Rey's shoulders, her hands limp on her sides. "But I never raised him to lust after a child."

Rey grew indignant. Why did everyone see her as a child and not as the young woman that she was? But she knew she had to be calm about things. She knew she had to try and reason with Maz. "I'm not a child, Maz. I've grown up. And it's not lust. He loves me too."

"He told you that?" Maz asked, and Rey faltered a little.

"Not yet, but I know he does." She added that last part quickly. Ben hadn't told her he loved her. Not in so many words but she was certain that he did. She could feel it in her bones. But Maz had inserted a seed of doubt in her conviction.

"How long has this been going on?" Maz's voice was calmer now, but it still put Rey on the defense.

"A while," she answered. "It happened gradually, but I think...I think I've always loved him, even when he kept his distance. I admired him for all the things he did for me despite what Mother did to him. And a lot of things happened that pushed us closer together until..." Rey shook her head, once again overwhelmed with feeling as she reached out to hold Maz's hands in hers. "Oh, Maz. I've never felt this way before. I love him so much it physically hurts to be away from him. So please. Please. I'm begging you. Don't take this away from us. Please."

Maz was silent for a while, her hands limp in Rey's grip before she let out a sad smile. "I stayed up all night, trying to understand what I saw, trying to look back on everything, if I had seen this coming. I admit, I have noticed you two growing closer. Saw those smiles on your faces. Those touches that might seem innocent at first. Saw how much happier you two have been. I just never imagined..." she trailed off and choked back a sob. "You may be my employers, but you and Benjamin are like the children I never had. I want nothing more than your happiness, but Reynabelle...you have to understand that we have laws against this. Benjamin is breaking the law by being with you."

"Nobody else has to know," Rey insisted, tightening her grip on Maz's hands. "Please, Maz. I know you've already done so much for me through the years, but I'm begging you. Please keep this between us. I don't want Ben to go to jail."

"I don't want that either," Maz admitted, much to Rey's relief. "He's been nothing but kind to me. But I can't condone this." Maz was quiet for a while before she stood up straight. "Reynabelle...why don't you come live with me? I have a house in the countryside. It's small but comfortable. I could still work here to support us. You could go to public school. Be with other children your age. And you could still have supervised visits with Benjamin every weekend. And when you turn eighteen, you can do whatever you want."

Rey let go of Maz's hands. The offer wasn't tempting at all. In fact, every part of her rebelled against it. Supervised weekend visits with Ben? For the next four years?

She shook her head. "I can't do that, Maz. I told you. It hurts to be away from Ben. I can't leave him."

"You'll still see each other," Maz persisted. "Think about it, Reynabelle. This is the best option for you and for Benjamin. All I want is to protect both of you, that's all."

Rey's mind understood. But her heart, oh her heart was breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it, and she continued to shake her head vehemently. "No. I don't want to leave. And I'm not going to."

Maz sighed deeply and lowered her gaze. "Then, I'm going to have to take this up with Benjamin myself." She looked up at Rey again, and this time there was no trace of sadness in her wrinkled face; only determination. "Please tell him that I'd like to talk to him in his study after breakfast. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change into my work clothes."

That was as curt a dismissal as any, and Rey could only nod before seeing herself out.

She had come here to try and do what she could to protect Ben. But in the end, she came up empty save for an alternative that was unbearable to her. There was nothing else she could do except hope and pray that Ben wouldn't agree to sending her away. Not again.

* * *

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Ben had woken up to a somber Rey, standing by his bedside and telling him that Maz wished to speak with him in the study later. He hadn't asked, but he assumed Rey and Maz had talked. He didn't pry either. If Rey wanted to talk about it, she would, but she didn't, and so they had spent the meal in silence, lost in their own individual thoughts.

Finishing the last bite of the pancakes, Ben stood up from his seat and tightened his black silk sleeping robe around him. "I'm going to head to my study to wait for Maz. What are you going to do?"

Rey shrugged. "Probably just wait for you in your room."

Ben waited for Rey to say something more. He badly wanted to know what she and Maz had talked about especially since it seemed to have caused Rey such distress. But she wasn't talking and he didn't want to force her. So he just leaned over, planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and hurried over to his study.

He didn't have to wait long for Maz to come knocking and announce herself, and he quickly called for her to enter.

Maz entered the study slowly and shut the door just as slowly. She had her usual dark gray frock on, her silver hair pinned up into a harsh bun, her thick spectacles making her eyes seem larger than they actually were. She looked older and feebler than he remembered her being, and he tensed as she approached his desk, stopping a few feet away from it.

Without so much as an introduction, Maz said, "I'd like Reynabelle to come live with me."

Ben blinked. "What?"

"She and I talked about your...your relationship." Maz swallowed, as if saying that was so repulsive to her. "Benjamin, you know this can't continue. She's just a child."

"I know that," Ben said, doing his best to steady his voice even as it threatened to break. "But you don't understand, Maz. She and I...what we have is special. Something I've been searching for my whole life. She makes me the happiest I've ever been."

"I know. I've seen you through your ups and downs. Saw how miserable you had been through the years and I admit, I have never seen you, or her so happy." Maz wrung her hands together. "But this happiness comes at a cost, Benjamin. You're robbing Reynabelle of her childhood."

"I've never made her do anything she didn't want to do," Ben protested. "Her consent is of utmost importance to me."

"She's too young to even give consent," Maz pointed out, and Ben clenched his fists at the reminder. "She's too young to think for herself. It's gotten to the point where she fancies herself in love with you and—"

"In love with me?" Ben interrupted, his mind running a thousand miles a minute as he tried to process what Maz had just revealed. "Rey said she is in love with me?"

"Yes."

His world seemed to shatter and become whole again all at once. He felt hot and then cold, his two sides warring for dominion as it always did when it came to Rey, and it took a while before his inner turmoil finally settled, and a kind of peace that had eluded him for so long made its presence known.

Rey was in love with him.

Rey...his precious Rey actually loved him.

His voice calmer than it had ever been, he said to Maz, "Now, there's no way I can let her go."

"Benjamin..."

"I love her, Maz," Ben finally admitted, and he felt his heart soar to the high heavens. It felt so good to be able to say that out loud after so long of trying to repress it, but he couldn't deny it anymore. "I love her. With all my heart and soul, I love her."

Maz stopped wringing her hands together and clasped them in front of her bosom, almost as if to plead. "If you love her as you claim, then you would let her go."

"I've done that," Ben explained. "I sent her away to school. Made her go out with friends her age. Pushed her away. But at every turn, Fate seemed to bring her back to me."

"Just like it was Fate that brought you and Annabelle together?" Maz questioned, and this silenced Ben. "Benjamin, life is not a fairytale. You would think you would have outgrown that notion by now. Life is cruel. And you and Reynabelle can't be together. Not as you both are now. If you could both just wait four more years—"

"I can't be apart from her for that long." Ben shook his head, and he could feel the pinpricks of tears at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. "I...I would die."

"You'll have supervised visits with her every weekend. You can still call and text each other. You won't be apart," Maz assured, but it did little to calm the Ben's anguish. "Look, Benjamin. I only want to protect both of you. Reynabelle living with me is the option you have. Even you have to admit that."

He ran a hand across his dark hair, mussing up the once perfect waves. Logic dictated that Maz was right, but his heart was screaming otherwise. Two sides warring once more.

"Benjamin, please," Maz pleaded. "If you love Rey, truly love her, then you would do what is best for her."

He heard her. Heard what Maz had said and now there was a tug of war within him. He loved Rey. He had to do what was in her best interest. And yet, he couldn't bear to let her go. She was his oxygen. His water. His sunlight. Without her, he would wither and die.

But in the end, this wasn't about him. It never was. It was about Rey.

It had to be about Rey, and with that thought, he made his decision.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the sporadic update guys. I've actually written the next chapters but I've been so busy lately I sometimes forget to update. I hope I didn't lose you. Thanks for your patience!**


	26. Chapter 26: Decided

Rey remained seated on the side of Ben's bed, swinging her legs as she twiddled her thumbs. Ben and Maz had been talking an awful long time in his study, and her heart began to pound with dread. But she tried to remain optimistic. He wouldn't send her away. Not now when they made so much progress with their relationship. Not now when she had fallen in love with him. He wouldn't hurt her. Not that way. Not again. He loved her too. She had to believe that. He was probably still reasoning with Maz. That old maid can be stubborn if she wanted to be, but she cares for them both. If there was anyone who would understand, it was Maz.

She had to believe all of that or else she would go insane.

The door to Ben's bedroom opened, and she looked up to see Ben entering. She smiled and got off the bed, ready to run into his arms when she saw Maz following close behind.

She froze.

"Rey..." Ben began, his voice sounding strong but feeble at the same time. "We need to talk."

Rey looked at him, then at Maz, then back at him again. In disbelief, she said, "You're sending me to live with Maz, aren't you?"

The pain that lanced across Ben's features mirrored her own, and she saw the beginnings of tears glistening in his eyes. "It's what's best for you. It's what's best for both of us."

"No!" Rey shook her head vehemently, and in a panic, she rushed to Ben, gripping both of his forearms as she looked up at him, pleading with him. "I don't want to leave. I want to stay with you!"

"Rey...you can't stay," Ben said, trying his best to sound firm but only coming out broken. "If you stay, I won't be able to get a hold of myself. I'll ruin you forever."

"You can't ruin me, Ben. Not you." Rey forced out a smile even as her lips trembled. "You can't ruin me if I want it. And it's what I want."

"You're too young to know what you want." He was repeating the same argument he had made back when he had first turned her away, and it brought back all the frustration, all the desperation Rey had felt during that moment. "And what we've been doing...what _I've_ been doing to you is illegal. I could go to prison."

"Nobody else has to know." Rey looked at Maz, imploring the old maid with her eyes. "It'll just be the three of us. Right, Maz? You won't tell on Ben, right?"

"Reynabelle..."

Rey turned away from Maz and back to Ben. He seemed to be in a daze now, as though he couldn't believe this was happening. And she knew the feeling. Knew it all too well but she had to remain focused. She had to if she were to convince Ben to let her stay. "Ben, please. Please don't send me away. If you want, we don't have to do anything anymore. We can just...go back to the way things were. No more sexual stuff."

She was offering him the same thing that he had offered her back then—a platonic companionship. She would settle for that. Anything to keep them from being apart.

And yet, just as she had done before, Ben rejected it.

"You know that's highly unlikely, Rey." Ben's arms were still limp in her grip. "I...I can't control myself around you. And let's be honest. Can we really go back to how we were before?"

Rey stared at him. At the anguish that cut through his long face. Yes, her mind screamed. They could go back. No more touching. No more kissing. Just as long as they were together. But her body betrayed her. Even at that very moment, she longed to be held in his strong arms, to have all her fears kissed away by those plush lips of his.

"Yes, we can," she lied through gritted teeth. "We can do it, Ben. We don't have to be apart."

"That's a risk we cannot take." It was Maz who spoke this time, stepping in further from the doorway, hands clasped tightly in front of her. "Reynabelle, I was young once too. The temptation is too strong especially when feelings are involved. I...I cannot allow things to escalate further."

Temptation.

Feelings.

She had one last card to play.

She turned to Ben again, tightening her grip on his arms as she said, "Ben...please let me stay with you. I...I love you." Her voice shook as she said it, trembling along with the fingers that continued to hold on to him. "I love you so much. I...I can't be away from you. Please."

Ben's lip quivered. It took him a while to respond, and when he did, his voice was raw with emotion. "I...I love you too, Rey. I love you...more than I have ever loved anyone."

It was the first time they had ever told each other how they felt, and tears swam in Rey's vision before the droplets ran down her cheeks. She realized then how long she had waited for him to utter those words, and to finally hear him say it brought her joy such as she had never felt before. But the reality of the situation quickly came crashing back in, and tears of joy quickly turned to sorrow.

"Fight for me, Ben," she begged through her tears. "If you love me, then fight for me."

"I am fighting for you." Ben's lip was still quivering, his eyes red and glassy. "I'm fighting for what's good for you. What we have is special, and I will always cherish it, but it's not the kind of love you're ready for. Not at your age."

"B-But..."

"Four years, Rey," Ben reminded, taking a deep breath as he said so. "We just have to wait four years. I'll visit you at Maz's house every weekend. I'll call and text you every day. Think of it as though you're away to boarding school. I'll also be sending a weekly stipend so you can both live comfortably. I can begin the process of turning over legal guardianship to Maz as soon as possible. There's a public school not ten minutes away from Maz's place that can still accommodate you and—"

"You've already decided on this." Rey let go of Ben's arms and backed away, tear-filled eyes moving from one adult to the other. "You two have already decided on this."

"I'm sorry, Reynabelle," Maz said. "It's for the best. We leave first thing in the morning."

"Tomorrow?" Rey asked incredulously. "We're leaving tomorrow?"

"I'll help you pack," Maz offered. "We would have left right away, but we need at least a day to prepare your things. Artoo will take us there in the Benz. I have my own Volkswagen but I don't think everything will fit in there."

Maz droned on and on about their travel arrangements, and all Rey could do was stare at Ben, who stared back at her in silence, his lips in a fine line. Rey backed away some more her hands flying to her hair. Too much, this was all too much! She hadn't been able to recover yet from everything that had happened—Poe's betrayal, the incident in the school, being caught, and now this?

Ben approached her, worried. "Rey?"

"Get away from me! Both of you, just get away!" she yelled and ran out of Ben's bedroom and into hers, slamming the door in the process. Sobs wracked uncontrollably through her body, and she flung herself to her bed, bawling into the sheets.

She loved Ben and did all she could to keep them together. Ben loved her and yet he was giving her up. He was allowing all this to happen. Allowing them to be torn away from each other. And it left her heart bleeding.

She cried at the unfairness of it all. Cried until she had nothing left. Cried until sleep mercifully took her under its wing, lulling her into a world without dreams. A world without pain or loss. A world of nothingness. And she welcomed the relief.

* * *

Ben was tired, oh so tired, but sleep was elusive. He hadn't been able to go to work that day because of everything that had happened, and he had spent almost the entire day in his room releasing all his pent up frustration and anger, taking it out on the furniture until his room was nothing but a mess of toppled chairs, broken things and pulled out sheets.

Then, for what seemed like the first time in years, he had allowed himself to weep. He had cried until his eyes hurt, until his voice turned hoarse from sobbing. He had cried for all that could have been, for all that could never be. Most of all, he had cried for Rey, his sweet little Rey, his beloved who was left broken by it all. And he couldn't even be there to help her pick up the pieces.

With a ragged breath, he covered his still swollen eyes with a forearm, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to spill forth again. He hadn't seen Rey since that morning. She had refused to come out of her room, had vehemently refused to see him. Maz had brought her food, had started packing her things for her, and by the time the old woman came out of her room, it was clear to Ben that she was just as affected by everything, but he couldn't sympathize with her, for while he had agreed with Maz into this decision, part of him resented her for it. Wanted to lash out at her for it. Fire her. Bribe her. Threaten her. All those thoughts went through his head yet he had controlled himself enough not to act on those impulses. And so he had taken out his anger on his possessions.

He angrily wiped a stray tear that ran down the side of his face as he reached out for the nightstand drawer and took out a bottle of sleeping pills. He hadn't needed to take these in a long time. The last time he constantly did was during the height of Annabelle's affairs. Alcohol would have been an alternative, but he didn't want to be hung over the next day. Rey may have refused to see him, but he was going to make sure he saw her out tomorrow morning, sober and clear-headed.

Making sure the pills were not expired, he popped one in and dry-swallowed before laying back down on his unkempt bed, waiting for it to take effect. And when it did, he felt himself swept up by relief.

He had a dream that night. A wonderful one. In it, he and Rey were running across a grassy field, wearing all white, the sunlight highlighting the chestnut color of her hair. Laughing, he grabbed her and they rolled down the slope until she was on top of him, kissing him with abandon, her lips traveling down his body as she moved lower and lower, and the next thing he knew, she had his cock in her pretty little mouth, sucking him and taking him in deeper than she had ever dared.

He groaned as he felt the rush of blood through his extremities. The sensations felt so powerful, so real, that he had to open his eyes so he could watch her.

The field of green instantly vanished, and he was back in his room, dim and illuminated only by the lamplight. But the sensations remained. Stronger. More intense. And he looked down to see Rey, moving her head up and down his crotch, his hard cock disappearing and reappearing from her mouth.

He gasped when she let him go with a pop and ran her tongue through the entire length of him.

"Do you like this, Daddy?" she whispered breathlessly as she stroked him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when she began sucking and licking his balls. "Do you like what your baby girl is doing to you?"

He couldn't utter a single coherent syllable. He could still see that he was in his room, but this didn't seem real. Like it was a dream. Rey had never sounded this sultry, this seductive before, and he felt himself keen when she put him in her mouth again.

"I love your cock, Daddy," she crooned, kissing from the base to the tip. "So big...so hard for me..."

She took him again in her mouth, took him so deep he could feel the back of her throat, felt her do her best not to gag, her lips clenching all around him. What she couldn't take in her mouth, she squeezed in her hands, and soon, he was bucking up to chase the delicious warmth she could give.

He reached down to hold her head, his fingers curling into her hair as he fucked her sweet little mouth, moaning as she gurgled all around him. His head was spinning, his body moving on its own accord, and he could feel the pressure tightening in his abdomen. He was getting close, and he thrust upwards in earnest, chasing after his climax.

She let him go before he reached his peak, and he practically whimpered.

"Don't worry, Daddy..." Rey hushed him, running a finger over his lips. "Baby girl's got something better for you..."

Through half-lidded eyes, he watched her crawl up his body and hike up her nightgown to reveal the smattering of curls between her legs. She wasn't wearing any underwear, and he felt his cock twitch.

Then, she lined up his cock and began guiding him into her pussy.

He groaned when he felt the puffy lips descend on the tip, devouring him in an agonizingly slow pace. He could feel the beginnings of the ridges from within her, the entrance tightening with each descent.

Rey stopped for a moment to whimper. He could feel strong resistance in her flesh, and his eyes flew open to see her beautiful face contorted in pain.

All at once, the sleepy haze disappeared, and horror dawned on him. This wasn't a dream. This was real!

Moving faster than he had ever moved in his entire life, he pulled her off him and rolled to his side, pinning her down on the bed, his eyes wild as he searched between their legs. There was no blood, and she hadn't made it past half of him.

The relief was short-lived as anger took hold, and he gripped Rey's shoulders, shaking her. "What the hell were you thinking, Rey? I told you we shouldn't be doing this!"

"B-But I want to," Rey stammered, frightened by his outburst. "It's our last night together and—"

"To hell with what you want!" Ben spat, tightening his hold on her shoulders, making her wince. "I'm doing all I can to protect what we have and you're ruining it!"

"I just want to be with you one last time, Ben," Rey sobbed, tears running down the sides of her face. "I love you."

That should have stopped him. Should have melted his heart. And it did, but only for the second it took him to regain his senses.

"If you love me, you wouldn't have come and tormented me," he rasped. "If you love me, you would have waited."

"Four years," Rey wept, her words broken. "Four years, Ben. That's forever away."

"Love...true love requires sacrifice," he said, almost in a growl, rage, sadness and disappointment clawing at his throat all at once. "I'm willing to wait. Willing to make that sacrifice for you. For both us. And if you're not...then I have to wonder if you really love me as you say you do."

Rey looked like she had just been slapped, her sobs stopping all at once. And when he saw the hurt in her eyes, he knew his words had cut deeper than he had intended.

His features softening, he let go of her shoulders and sat up. She rose from the bed, but wouldn't look at him. "Rey...I..."

She held up a hand and shook her head. Wordlessly, she slipped out of the mattress and hurried out of the room, the slamming of the door shaking him to the core.

He stared down at his hands—the same hands that had carded through her hair as she brought him to bliss, the same hands that had gripped her shoulders until she grimaced in pain. And it was in those same hands that he buried his face as he screamed into the night, howling out all the pain that seared at his heart.

* * *

His mind was foggy from the lack of sleep, his eyes staring blankly as Threepio and Artoo marched past him in the foyer with Rey's luggage, carrying it to the waiting Benz. Maz oversaw everything because he himself couldn't. All he could do was stand dumbly at the sidelines, watching everything unfold.

Rey was leaving. And after everything that happened last night, all the hurtful words he had thrown her way, he began to wonder if she would even want to come back to him after the four years was over.

"I think that's everything," Maz declared, hands on her hips as she tried to catch Ben's eyes. "I'll go get Reynabelle now."

He nodded in silence and watched the old maid walk up the great steps before disappearing into the hallway. He stood patiently by the door, his eyes towards the stairs as he waited for one last glimpse of Rey. After a while, he saw them emerge, Maz's hand around Rey's shoulder.

He swallowed. Rey was wearing one of her dresses again, all laces and frills, her chestnut hair coming down on both shoulders, a pretty bow atop her head, her face expressionless like a doll's. There was no trace of the young woman he had thought he'd come to know—only a little girl, broken beyond repair.

Maz had her stop beside Ben. "Reynabelle, is there anything you would like to say to Benjamin before we go?"

Rey shook her head, and without looking at him, walked out of the front door and headed towards the Benz.

"She's just in a bit of shock, I'm sure," Maz reassured Ben as he watched Rey slip into the back seat. "She'll come around once you visit this weekend. What time should we expect you?"

"I'll be there at nine in the morning," Ben answered absently, his eyes not leaving Rey.

"Just in time for breakfast then." Maz nodded and said her goodbye before heading towards the waiting vehicle.

All too soon, Artoo started the car, and Ben took several steps out to the porch, eyes on the back of Rey's head as the Benz headed out of the property.

He willed for Rey to look back, to give him one last glance before they disappeared through the gates.

She never did.


	27. Chapter 27: Visits

Saturday morning finally came. It seemed like forever before it did, and if it weren't for the sleeping pills, Ben would have spent many sleepless nights waiting for the day to arrive. He had especially needed a good night's rest yesterday, to prepare for the two-hour long drive to Maz's place the next day.

He checked his phone to make sure he was headed in the right direction before turning the Lexus to an unpaved path flanked by shrubs. Maz wasn't lying when she said she lived in the countryside. He had driven mostly through vast acres of farm land with a few houses in between before arriving in town, and even then he had to go to the outskirts to get to Maz's house.

He stopped in front of a brown one story cottage surrounded by a white picket fence. It looked quaint and cozy, but nowhere near the size of Alderaan Manor, and he wondered if Rey was adjusting to the smaller confines of her new home. He had certainly asked after her through texts, had even tried calling her several times but he received no reply. It was clear that she was avoiding him, and it hurt. But now...now he would get to see her again. Maybe even talk to her. Smooth things out a little bit.

He cut off the engine and grabbed the bouquet of lilies he had brought with him from the passenger seat as well as a manila envelope before emerging from the car, taking in a breath of fresh country air. He straightened his gray button down shirt and smoothed out the wrinkles of his black trousers before walking through the fence gate, hurrying up the steps of the small porch and pressing the buzzer.

It didn't take long for Maz to answer the door, and she welcomed him with a smile. "Benjamin, you're just in time. I've just finished preparing bacon, eggs and hash browns. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. It's been a long drive." He smiled back and stepped inside, looking around at the space which held the living room and the dining room, his eyes training on the small corridor which he just knew led to the bedrooms. "Where's Rey? Still in her room?"

"Yes, I've been telling her to come out since this morning." Maz let out a frustrated huff. "You go sit yourself at the table, Benjamin. I'll go get Reynabelle."

Maz left for the corridor, and Ben took a seat at the table, setting the bouquet and manila envelope beside his plate. Breakfast smelled delicious, and he looked forward to eating Rey. It had been days since they last shared a meal together, and he missed that. Missed watching her take dainty little bites of everything, missed talking to her over food, missed her smiles, her laugh, missed her presence beside him. Sure, Maz will be with them, but he didn't mind so long as he had Rey sitting by his side again.

Maz emerged from the corridor, and the look on her face wiped the smile from Ben's lips. "I'm sorry, Benjamin. Reynabelle...she refuses to come out."

"Why? Is something wrong? Is she sick?" Ben started to stand but Maz shook her head.

"She says she doesn't want to see you."

Ben lowered himself back in his seat and stared at his plate, all appetite suddenly gone.

Maz sat beside him and patted his hand. "Did something happen with you two?"

Ben blushed at the question but quickly composed himself. "We...we had a fight. Seems she really doesn't like this new arrangement."

Maz nodded solemnly. "I know. She has barely come out of her room ever since she got here. But that should all change starting next week, when she goes to school. Speaking of which, do you have the papers from her previous school?"

Ben handed her the manila envelope, and Maz did a quick check of the papers inside. "I think everything's in here. And by the way, what happened to that boy who hurt Rey? Did they ever find out who vandalized her room?"

Ben took a sip of orange juice. He had had to fill in Maz about what happened in Raddus Hall, in case the new school asked why Rey had to be transferred on such short notice. "Auntie Amilyn called me the other day. Said they couldn't expel Dameron due to a lack of evidence and the confession was inadmissible because of the way I got it out of him. They did suspend him though, along with that girl...I believe Connix was her name? They found red spray paint in her backpack and in the end, she confessed." He grew quiet for a moment. "Will you tell Rey that? About Dameron and Connix? I mean, it doesn't matter much I suppose since she doesn't go to Raddus Hall anymore, but maybe it will make her feel better."

"I will," Maz promised before standing up and taking the plate beside Ben's. "I'll bring Rey her breakfast first, and then we'll eat."

"Give her these too." Ben quickly handed over the bouquet of lilies, which Maz took with her free hand. "And tell her I miss her."

The smile on Maz's face was sad as she disappeared into the corridor. It was a while before she came back, and when she did, the sad smile remained. "Well, she took the lilies at least. She's putting it in a vase right now."

That perked up Ben a bit. It wasn't much, but it was something, and he would take it.

His appetite returning, he and Maz have an uneventful breakfast, talking mostly about the arrangements with Rey. The paperwork to transfer legal guardianship would have to wait a bit, he said, because he had to take it up with his lawyer. In truth, Ben wanted to drag it out as long as possible. Being Rey's legal guardian seemed to be his last connection to her, and he didn't want to sever that any time soon.

Maz went on to talk about Colossus High, one of the two schools in town where Rey was going to be enrolled. It's a nice, respectable school. No uniforms so Rey would have to wear her own clothes. Ben promised to send Maz some shopping money so Rey could buy more suitable clothes. "No more dresses if possible. I don't want her to stand out or to be bullied because of it."

Maz nodded in understanding and finished her meal, after which, she took the plates to the sink to wash.

Ben waited around for a few hours more, hoping that Rey would finally emerge from her bedroom. Lunch time rolled around, and still no Rey in sight. Maz had had to again, bring her food in her room and when it became clear to Ben that she wouldn't be coming out, he finished his lunch, said his goodbyes and left, his steps as heavy as his heart.

* * *

The next few weekends would be more of the same. Ben would come over for breakfast and lunch, bringing lilies for Rey while she remained in her bedroom, refusing to come out and see him. And if it weren't for the photos Maz showed him on her tablet, he might have thought Rey had completely disappeared from the face of the earth.

"This was Reynabelle on her first day." Maz showed him a photo of a somber Rey, standing in front of a typical school building. She was still wearing one of her dresses, and she stuck out like a sore thumb amongst a sea of t-shirts and jeans.

"I thought I told you to have her wear more casual clothes," Ben gently reminded the old woman.

Maz sighed. "I tried to make her wear them but she refuses. She says the dresses keep people away."

Ben grew a little alarmed. "She...doesn't have any friends?"

Maz shook her head. "Not that I know of. Poor thing must still be traumatized from what happened with her and her friends in her old school."

Ben's hands curled into fists, his heart breaking at the thought of Rey eating lunch by herself, talking to no one and walking through the school corridors alone, bumping shoulders with strangers.

Maz put a gentle hand on his. "Don't worry, Benjamin. She'll come out of her shell eventually. We just have to be patient and give her time."

Ben nodded. He will be patient. He will give her time.

And perhaps one day soon, she will finally come out to see him.

* * *

"Reynabelle made some friends."

"Oh?" Ben looked up from his waffles to look at Maz, who was beaming like a proud mother. It had been a month since Rey moved in with the old servant and Ben's only glimpse of her had been through pictures.

"Yes. She's been talking non-stop about them all week, and I got to meet them yesterday." Maz produced her tablet and showed Ben photos of Rey with her friends, pointing at each one. "This is Tam. This is Synara. This is Neeku and this good looking young man beside her is Kazuda Xiono. He was the first one to approach her. They're all in the same grade together."

Ben stared at the photo, then swiped the screen to view the next ones. Rey was wearing casual clothes now, and for the first time in a long time, he saw her smile. And he felt his heart ache painfully and pleasantly at the same time.

He swiped some more. In each photo, Rey looked like she was having fun with her friends—going out to town, eating at a local cafe, hanging out at a playground. But the one other thing Ben noticed besides Rey's smile was the boy, Kazuda Xiono. He seemed to always be around Rey, either standing or sitting close to her, or looking at her with what he could only describe as admiration.

He felt himself grow tense.

"Benjamin? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing," Ben denied and handed Maz back her tablet. He shouldn't over think this, he thought. He shouldn't be jealous of every guy that shows a hint of attraction towards Rey. It was to be expected. Rey was a very beautiful girl, heartbreakingly so. And she loved him. They may not be in good terms at the moment, but she still loved him. She would never look at any other guy like she did him.

Right?

With each passing week, Ben became more and more dependent on sleeping pills. His doctor recommended he see a psychiatrist, maybe even a therapist. Get some antidepressants. Get his issues worked out. Get to the root of his sleeping problems. He refused. He would deal. He just needed something to help him sleep.

Rey still refused to see him, or answer his calls and texts, and the more time passed, the more he felt like he no longer existed to Rey. Still, he visited without fail, brought bouquets of lilies without fail. The only solace he took was the fact that Maz assured him that Rey took care of the lilies until they wilted, so he made sure to bring fresh ones every weekend.

Conversation with Maz always centered on Rey—what she was doing, how she was doing in class, and by the looks of things, she seemed to be doing well. She still hung out with her friends, though the more time passed, the more photos Maz showed him of just Rey and Kazuda together.

"Who's this Kazuda kid?" Ben tried to ask casually, but the question came out terse.

Maz stared at him for a moment before she took the tablet from Ben's hands. "Kazuda Xiono happens to be the son of the town mayor. He's a good kid." A pause. "Reynabelle thinks he may have a crush on her."

Ben's jaw clenched. "And...what does Rey think of him?"

"She doesn't know him enough yet to know for sure, but she likes him." Maz wasn't just being honest. She was being completely blunt, and she continued to be with her ensuing statements. "Benjamin...this is an opportunity for Reynabelle to be with someone her age. She's finally living life as a normal, happy, healthy teenager, with the potential of having a normal, healthy relationship."

"But we were supposed to wait four years together," Ben said, and winced. Even to his ears, he sounded pathetic. "It's barely been two months since she started living here."

Maz put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "Benjamin, you can't hold her to that. She's young, and you need to let her live her life, to let her grow and blossom into a young woman. And if in the end she still chooses you, then it's meant to be."

 _If_ she chooses him. Not _when_. _If_. And he found part of himself shattering.

His visit would be shorter that day. And when he got home, he would go straight to his study to find solace at the bottom of a bottle of bourbon.

* * *

The weekend of his 34th birthday, he arrived at Maz's cottage with cake and ice cream. Red velvet and Cookies and Cream. Not his own favorites, but it was Rey's. He'd had to buy the ice cream from town, to make sure it didn't melt during the drive, but the cake was made by his chef in Alderaan Manor, made just the way Rey liked it.

Maz prepared a little feast of her own: roast chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. As always, Rey refused to come out, but Ben asked Maz if he could talk to her through the door.

"I doubt you'll be able to convince her to talk, but okay." Maz gave her approval as she took the dishes to the sink before heading to her room. "I'll give you two a little privacy. The least I could do for your birthday."

Ben greatly appreciated that, and he approached the door to Rey's room, knocking nervously.

"Yes, Maz?"

Ben felt a shock go right through him. It was the first time he heard her voice in what seemed like forever, and he replayed it over and over in his head. "No, Rey. It's me. Ben."

Silence.

"It was my 34th birthday last Thursday," he continued when she didn't reply. "I thought we could celebrate it together today. I brought cake and ice cream. All your favorites."

Rey still did not respond. But he knew she was there. He could see the shadow of her feet from the large gap at the bottom of the door.

"Rey, please," he said hoarsely. "I've been trying to be patient. To give you time. It's been almost three months since I last saw you or talked to you. Please."

She still wouldn't talk. With a frustrated huff, he turned around and leaned heavily against the door, the silence growing more deafening by the minute, and so he decided to talk. He talked about his job, and how he was getting by. He talked about the servants at Alderaan Manor and how they missed her. He talked about how Maz had filled him in on her, about her school, her friends, everything.

He didn't tell her he had been having difficulties concentrating on work. He didn't tell her he had turned to alcohol again, and how he couldn't sleep unless he took sleeping pills. He didn't tell her about the hollow feeling at the pit of his stomach, about the black cloud that loomed over him, growing darker with each passing day. And he didn't tell her how he truly felt about her spending time with a certain friend of hers.

Instead, he omitted certain truths. "Maz talks about you and Kazuda Xiono all the time. I understand you've become very close to him." He chewed on his lip, steeling himself for what he was about to say. "Rey...you were right when you said four years is a very long time. A lot can happen in those four years and I...I don't want to hold you back. I want you to be happy and if this Kazuda can make you happy, I want you to know that...that I won't stand in your way."

There was a whimper on the other side of the door. Some shuffling. Then, he felt something poke at his feet, and he saw a gift being slid through the gap at the bottom of the door.

"Is this for me?" He bent down to pick it up. It was wrapped nicely, with a bow that reminded him of the ribbons Rey put in her hair. "Can I open it?"

He received no response, but he took it as a yes and carefully unwrapped the present.

He stared at it. It looked to be a thick leather book of sorts, and when he opened it, he found pressed flowers—lilies—glued on each of the page, and at the bottom of each page was a date which corresponded to all the times he had visited up until last week. The pages were full, telling him that she had pressed every single one of the lilies he had given her thus far, and he felt heat bloom in his chest at the realization that she had been counting the dates. That she treasured the flowers he gave her enough to try and preserve them.

"Thank you." He tried not to choke on his own words. "I will treasure this. Thank you, Rey."

He would sleep that night with the book held close to his chest, just as he held on to the hope that one day, he would see her again.

* * *

The next week was particularly hard for Ben. Shipments failed to arrive on time, meetings scheduled left and right, paperwork up to his neck, and to top it all off, Maz had to send him regular updates on Rey and Kazuda. Ben had given his blessing it seemed, so the two had been spending a lot more time together as of late.

Ben knew what Maz was doing. She was easing him into it so he wouldn't be so blindsided if the two ever got into a relationship but he couldn't help but feel angry at Maz, despite knowing that she was only a messenger. The reality was, he had no one but himself to blame. He had hurt Rey to the point that she didn't even want to see him or talk to him. He had told Rey he wouldn't stand in the way between her and another boy who could possibly make her happy. And now he had to stand by what he had said despite how much it hurt.

Bourbon and sleeping pills. Those were his nightly companions now. One helped dull the pain. The other lulled him into a much needed rest. They were not a good combination, his doctor had said, and begged him again to see a psychiatrist so he could get some antidepressants. He said he would. He never did.

That weekend, he overslept. He had a particularly bad night, and had upped his dosage of the pills and the next thing he knew, he was waking up well past lunch, groggy and irritable.

He drove the two hours it took to get to Maz's place, fresh lilies in tow. When he arrived at the cottage, Maz welcomed him with open arms, though she was visibly concerned.

"Benjamin, you don't look too good," she observed. "Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"I'm fine, Maz," he lied. "Is Rey still in her room?"

Maz shook her head, which caused Ben to arch his brows in surprise. "She's in town right now."

Ben stilled, fingers gripping the base of the bouquet in his hand. Almost without thinking, he pivoted and headed back out the door.

"Benjamin, where are you going?" Maz followed close behind.

"To town." He slipped inside his Lexus and started the engine. He was surprised when Maz got in the passenger's seat. "Maz!"

"I'm not going to let you see her by yourself, Benjamin Solo," Maz warned. "We agreed to supervised visits only."

"Fine," Ben sighed and began driving away. "It's not like I'm going to do anything anyway. I just want to talk to her."

"Yes, but I've seen that look on your face before." Maz pointed, and he was relieved to find that she was grinning. "You're too excited for this. You'll need someone to keep you grounded especially since we'll be going somewhere public."

Ben grinned back and drove away. For the first time in months, he was actually smiling. He would get to see Rey again. She probably wouldn't want it seeing as she had taken great pains to avoid him, but this seemed to be the only opportunity he would ever have to see her again, and he would take it.

"She's in the local coffee shop," Maz informed him after checking her phone. "Shouldn't be hard to miss."

Coffee shop. Perfect. They would have a bit of brew together. He needed the caffeine in his system anyway. They'd talk over steaming cups; catch up on everything they had missed. Maybe even share a smile. And dare he hope, he would let him hold her hand?

The thought sent excited jitters through him. He was so starved for her that even just the thought of a simple touch from her was getting him giddy. They would take things slow. They would work their way back together. Maybe not in each other's arms, not until the four years was up, but at least as much as Maz would allow.

He parked the Lexus near the center of town, his eyes homing in on the coffee shop across the street.

With the lilies on hand, he crossed the street, and that was when he saw her. Sitting by the large shop window. Sipping on a paper cup with what looked like her name on it.

 _Rey._

He stepped closer. She didn't see him. She seemed to be lost in thought. Smiling as she took another sip. She looked healthy. Happy. And she had never looked more beautiful. She wore a white cardigan over her yellow sun dress with the flower prints, her brown hair combed to one side. It suited her.

Nervously, he held the bouquet of lilies with both hands as he prepared to go around the shop to get to the main door.

He stopped when he saw him. That boy. Kazuda Xiono. Walking in to sit on the empty chair in front of Rey, a tray of coffee and cookies in hand. Rey beamed at him and rose from her seat, leaning over to kiss Kazuda on the lips.

The bouquet hung limp in one hand as Ben stared at the scene before him. Rey's perfect pink lips on someone else's. The fires of rage ignited within him, only to be quickly extinguished by the icy drops of rain from the dark cloud that had been hovering over him the last several weeks.

The kiss ended, and he found himself growing numb. He barely even felt Maz's hand on his forearm. "Benjamin...I'm sorry..."

He took his arm away and marched back to his Lexus, throwing the bouquet of lilies in the trash along the way. Maz called out for him, but he couldn't hear her from all the screaming inside his head. He thought he heard Rey calling out his name too, but he knew it was only wishful thinking, and he got into his vehicle, driving away with tires screeching.

Only three months out of the four years had passed.

Rey had moved on.

He hadn't.

His visits stopped abruptly.

He would never set foot in Maz's cottage or that town ever again.


	28. Chapter 28: Dark

**A/N: Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt. I know that's a spoiler but I thought I'd give people a heads up.**

* * *

Two weeks had passed since he last visited Maz's cottage. Two weeks since he last saw Rey. Two weeks since that incident in the coffee shop, and it still tore at his insides, searing like a hot knife. It had been all that consumed his thoughts, almost all times of the day, tormenting him with the memory of Rey's lips on someone else's.

 _She hadn't waited for him._

To say that he was a mess was an understatement. His assistants and his secretary had had to work overtime to pick up the slack. His work was suffering; his life spiralling out of control; the dark cloud looming large over him, suffocating him with terrible whispers. He was a useless. He was worthless. He was pathetic. Stupid. Unlovable. It got so bad he finally went to see a psychiatrist, who got him on antidepressants.

He shunned the idea of a therapist entirely. What was he going to say? That he was madly in love with his 14-year-old stepdaughter? That he had been in a physical relationship with her? That seeing her with someone else, a boy her age, was driving him insane? No, just no. Client confidentiality be damned, he just couldn't risk it. He'd be lucky if he wasn't reported to the police. He had enough problems on his plate already, and more seemed to be piling up.

And so he went about his days, burying himself in work, trying but failing to appear in control. His employees noticed it, he was sure. He could see them looking at him curiously, hear them whispering. His appearance was less than impeccable; his suit wrinkled, his tie loose, his face unshaven, his usually perfectly combed hair dishevelled. He looked like a man who had given up, and most days he felt like he had.

Three months. Three months was all it took before Rey fell in to someone else's arms. He should have seen it coming. Maz had prepared him for this inevitability but it didn't make it hurt any less. What made it worse was that he had been the one to give her his blessing. He had only wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with him. He knew there would be consequences to his words. He just didn't believe she would actually go through with it. He had believed too much in her love for him, just as he had believed too much in Annabelle's love. Now, both women—mother and daughter—had left him shattered, but somehow, this felt worse.

He thought about that kiss again. How casually Rey had shared it with that boy. There was every indication that it wasn't their first kiss, and his body revolted at the thought of the many other kisses she and that boy could have shared. The many times they could have been alone. The possibility that she could have...

No. He would not go there. He couldn't afford to let his thoughts wander in that direction. His mind was already going into dangerous places as it was, pulling him into ever darkening thoughts until the only relief to be had was in a bottle of prescription pills.

"You're a mess, boy," Chester Chewbacca, one of the company's co-founders and a member of the board, said to him one day after finding him in his office, hands shaking as he took another pill.

"I'm fine, Uncle Chewie," Ben said, using the burly man's nickname. Chewie wasn't just a member of the board. He was also his father's best friend. Watched him grow up. Seen him through his ups and downs. Now he was seeing him at one of his lowest points.

"Who are you kidding? Look at you! You look like shit." Chewie was never one to mince words. "Last time I saw you like this was when your wife cheated on you. But even then you were still able to get it together." Chewie sighed before putting a heavy hand on Ben's shoulder. "Listen, boy. Whatever shit you're going through right now, you need to deal with it before it kills you. Take a break. Take the week off if you have to. The company will still be here when you get back. I'll make sure of it."

Ben hadn't needed much convincing. He knew he was becoming a liability, and so he had gone home early, retired to his room and with the help of some sleeping pills and a few shots of bourbon, he slept the day away.

That was how he would spend the next few days—alternating between sleep and awake, though the two seemed to meld into one another, leaving him dazed and confused. He wasn't sure what was real and what was a dream, because all of it felt like one long nightmare.

Maz would come by to check on him when she wasn't working, doing what she could to talk him into eating, into taking care of himself. Even Rey was worried about him, Maz had said, but he didn't believe her. Why would Rey even bother with him now when she was happy with someone else? Rey didn't need him anymore.

 _No one did._

His staff could go on with their lives without him. The company would still run without him. Rey would continue to move on. Live a normal life. Go on to marry and have kids. There was an entire future ahead of her.

The least he could do was make it secure.

For what seemed like the first time in months, he found a purpose. He cleaned himself up. Went to work with a better disposition, so much so as to surprise his employees. He treated his assistants to lunch, as an apology for being 'such an ass' the last few weeks. He sent Chewie a bottle of his favorite whiskey. He smiled more. Ate better until the color returned to his cheeks. Even Maz noticed and was relieved.

Nobody knew he had stopped taking his medication.

He called his lawyer, Larma D'Acy. He needed to make a new will, he told her. She seemed suspicious, asking him what spurred this on. He assured her it was nothing. Just taking precautions since he planned to travel outside the country soon. Anything could happen.

 _Anything could happen._

He had D'Acy come over the next day, and after pouring through everything with her, he signed the will along with his two witnesses, the Solo family's long time servants, the butler Threepio and the chauffeur Artoo. Artoo signed quietly. Threepio voiced out his concerns, saying the master was too young to be thinking of such things. Ben only smiled.

He looked at the will one more time, his eyes swimming through the words. Rey would be well-taken taken care of now.

There was only one thing left to do.

He called the entire house staff to his study and told them to take the next few days off. Take a vacation. See their families. They would be paid of course, as thanks for a job well done. They need not worry about him. He will be fine on his own. Most of the staff was only too happy to accept. Only Threepio showed some misgivings, practically hovering over Ben until he was ordered out of the house.

Ben waited until the next day to ensure he was alone. He didn't want any interruptions. Made sure to switch off his phone.

He woke up to the howling of the wind and the roar of thunder. An unexpected storm. Perfect.

He did his best to make himself comfortable and happy that day. He hummed as he prepared his own breakfast of corned beef hash and omelettes. Once he finished eating, he went to the living room, turning on the flat screen tv as he grabbed the pen and paper he had swiped from his study. One more thing he had to write before he went.

He put the paper on the coffee table and scribbled as he listened to the news, enjoying the warmth from the fireplace. Torrential rain pouring in. Flooding in surrounding counties. No one would be able to get to him now.

 _No one._

He filled the paper with happy thoughts. He needed to make the person who would read it understand that he was in a better place. That he hadn't felt this happy and relieved in a long time. That he had lived a full life, that nobody should have any regrets or feel any sort of guilt.

The power suddenly cut off just as he finished writing his note. He could hear nothing now but the raging storm outside, firelight illuminating the room and casting long shadows on the walls.

With all the rain and floods, it could take days for the power to come back. Not that it mattered. He wouldn't be around that long anyway.

He folded the note carefully and set it aside before digging in to his robe and taking out two bottles of sleeping pills. He also reached out for the decanter of bourbon he had placed on the coffee table.

These should do the trick.

He opened the first bottle of sleeping pills and slowly raised it to his lips.

A vision of Rey with tears streaming down her face flashed through his mind but he quickly shook the image away. She didn't need him anymore. She would be better off without him. And he needed to do this. To ensure that her future was secured.

He loved her. And it was because he loved her that he needed to her to be completely free from him.

He opened his lips and began tilting his head back.

* * *

 **A/N:** **To those suffering, please know that suicide is never the solution to a temporary problem. If you or a loved one is in crisis of this sort, please call your local suicide hotline or seek professional help.**


	29. Chapter 29: Dread

Several weeks ago...

Rey did nothing but cry every since she left for Maz's place. She cried once the Benz was far enough from the manor. Cried when she got to her room in the cottage. Cried several nights after that.

Maz tried to soothe her, telling her that this was for the best. For her and for Ben.

She couldn't tell Maz that she had come into Ben's room and tried to seduce him, only to have him not only reject her, but outright question her love for him. And that had cut her deep. Hadn't she shown enough how much she loved him? Given so much of herself to him? And was it too much to ask to be with him just for one night more? Wouldn't he have wanted the same thing if he were in her shoes? Four years was a lifetime away...

Her heart was still bleeding by the time he arrived for his first visit. Angry and hurt, she outright refused to see him. She wanted him to feel her pain, to know what it was like to be rejected. Then of course, he had to have come with a bouquet of lilies, and she almost went out to see him.

Almost.

A few days later, when the flowers started to wilt, she began a new ritual of pressing them into a leather bound book, marking each with the date of Ben's visit. She wanted to preserve them forever if she could, if only to remember the feeling she had when Maz first brought them in, knowing they were from Ben. She was still mad at him to the point of still refusing to see him and ignoring his calls and texts, but she couldn't deny what she felt for him. She still loved him, even if Maz didn't believe her.

And Maz would continue to question her. In the coming weeks, she would try and convince Rey that what she felt for Ben was nothing but a flight of fancy, borne from a long period of manipulation. Rey hated it when Maz talked like that, because it made her love for Ben seem so dirty. Made Ben seem like a creep. Ben didn't manipulate her, she insisted. He didn't force her to do anything, least of all force her to fall in love with him. And he loved her, otherwise he wouldn't sacrifice so much for both of them; wouldn't be willing to wait four agonizing years for her.

It was in that moment, when those words tumbled out of her mouth, that Rey realized and finally understood what Ben was doing for her. What Ben was doing for them. And when Rey pointed it out to Maz, even she admitted that Ben's feelings for her may be genuine.

"But it's not Ben's feelings I'm questioning here. It's yours," Maz said. "You're too young to even know what real love actually is."

"How can I prove to you that I really love him?" Rey asked, her muscles tense from arguing.

"By giving yourself another chance at loving someone else," came Maz's reply, her voice soothing. "You need to experience a normal, healthy relationship with someone your age. That way, you'll have something to compare it to. And if in the end, you still want to be with Ben, then I won't stand in your way, but only once you turn eighteen."

Rey knew who Maz was referring to when she mentioned someone of her age. By this time, Rey had already been befriended by Kazuda Xiono and his friends, and Maz encouraged her friendship with Kazuda, deeming him and Rey a perfect match.

Kazuda was nice. Pleasant to the eyes, funny, if a little on the clumsy side. But she supposed that was part of his charm. Still, he was nothing like Ben. He was immature, at times timid, not even a hint of being dangerous at all, which she thought was probably a good thing. Kazuda was...safe. A sound choice.

Rey resisted at first. Even after Kazuda made his intentions clear, she still wanted to remain loyal to Ben, despite the fact that they weren't on speaking terms, though that was no one's fault but her own. She had dragged out this act of refusing to see or speak to him for so long that she honestly lost all nerve to come out and face him, ashamed of her actions yet at the same time too proud and still hurting from his rejection to apologize. Perhaps the next week she would come out, she told herself, but once he came around, she would continue to put it off. She still had time. And she needed time.

Then, the week of his 34th birthday came. She tried to psyche herself up to talk to him, but she froze the minute he started speaking to her through the door. He pleaded with her, and her heart wanted to go to him as she listened to him talk. She even reached for the knob, trying to muster the courage to turn and open it. But when he started telling her that he knew about Kazuda, and that he was going to step aside if it meant her being happy with someone else, she broke down into silent tears. She knew he was being selfless, but a bigger part of her wanted him to be opposite that. She wanted him to fight for her. To assert himself. Tell her that she was his and his alone. But once again, he was letting her go, and it devastated her. Was she not worth holding on to?

She gave him her gift of pressed flowers then, hoping at least that he would understand what the lilies meant to her. That he still meant so much to her despite all the pain, all the tears and heartache, that she counted down the dates of his every visit because she did appreciate it. She hoped he would treasure the gift like he said he would.

Maz told her that night, as she cried, that Ben had given her the gift of choice, and that she shouldn't waste it. Once again, the old woman encouraged Rey to give herself another chance at a healthier relationship in light of Ben's blessing, and so she opened herself up to Kazuda.

Kazuda was sweet. Awkward during their first few dates, but sweet and very much the gentleman. He was not dangerous at all like Poe, but not exciting like Ben. He was just...harmless.

He didn't feel like home like Ben did.

Still, Rey tried with Kazuda. See if she could be happy with him. And for a time, she was. He gave her friendship. He gave her companionship. He did his best to make her smile at all times. And she appreciated that.

Their first kiss was just as awkward as he was. It happened on the night of their third date, and Kazuda had just walked her up to Maz's porch when he leaned over and pursed his lips, shutting his eyes tight. She almost laughed at his expression, and relented on giving him a peck on the lips. She felt like she owed him that much.

There was nothing earth-shattering about the kiss, or the few kisses after that. They were all chaste, almost friendly kisses, mostly quick pecks—nothing at all like the kisses she shared had with Ben, which left her weak and craving for more. With Kazuda...Rey mostly did it to make him happy. It felt nice to make someone else happy for once, even though she knew she was being unfair to Kazuda. She liked him, but she didn't love him. Maybe someday she would. He was a nice boy. The kind Maz and the rest of the world would certainly approve of.

But her heart longed for something else.

Then, one weekend, Rey woke up with the courage to see Ben again. She would face him this time, own up to her mistakes. Apologize for her behavior and tell him how much she appreciated what he was doing for them. Tell him how much she still loved him. She was going to have to come clean about Kazuda too. Hopefully Ben won't take it so hard. He did give her his blessing after all. Then, she was going to have to break it gently to Kazuda.

Maz would probably be disappointed, but she would try to cushion the blow by saying she had at least tried to make it work, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And she would wait, she thought. She would wait just like Ben.

But then Ben didn't show up for breakfast or lunch. Rey heard from Maz that he would be running late. He had overslept, and so she decided to accept Kazuda's text invitation to go out for some afternoon coffee while waiting for Ben to arrive.

While Kazuda ordered his coffee, Rey lost herself in thought, imagining what it would be like when she and Ben saw each other again later. She tried to think of the best case scenarios...maybe him bringing her a bouquet of lilies again. They would look at each other, speak with their eyes rather than their lips. Then, she imagined he would at the very least, reach out to hold her hand.

She smiled. She would like that, she thought. A simple touch from Ben. Even the thought of it sent a thrill through her. She missed him so much.

Kazuda appeared with his tray of coffee and cookies and leaned over, pursing his lips at her the way he always did when he wanted a kiss. She didn't think; only acted as she leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the lips. Barely lasted a second. Harmless.

Then, at the corner of her eye, she saw Ben's retreating form from the shop window. Saw him throw a bouquet of lilies in the trash and she instantly knew he had seen them.

 _He had seen them kiss._

She ran out of the coffee shop then, calling out his name but either he didn't hear or he deliberately ignored her as he got into his car and sped away.

That had been the last time she saw him. For the next two weeks, she waited, but he didn't show. She mulled over sending him a text or giving him a call, but she kept chickening out at the last second. She didn't think she could bear it if he yelled at her, rejected her, or didn't answer her, and even if he did answer, she wasn't sure how to explain herself, so she resorted to asking Maz after him.

Maz didn't come back with good news. Ben had withdrawn, it seemed, barely ate and kept to himself. But he'll be alright, Maz assured, though Rey wasn't so sure about that.

One day, Maz returned with a surprising turn of events. Ben had apparently given the entire house staff a few days of paid time off. He was getting better too, Maz said. He was eating again and he seemed much happier. Rey smiled along with the old maid, even though an unpleasant feeling settled at the pit of her stomach.

That same day, Maz offered for Rey to come with her to visit her sister a few counties away. Rey politely declined. Something told her to stay put, so she lied about having the cramps, even though her period ended days ago. She promised Maz she would be fine on her own, and to take as much time with her sister as she needed.

Maz left that afternoon, and Rey was alone in the cottage for the first time since she got there.

She woke up early the next day to the howling of the wind and the rattling of windows. A freak storm. Ominous.

Her phone rang, and she quickly took it from the night stand, thinking it was Maz.

It was an unknown number.

She answered anyway. "Hello?"

"Mistress Reynabelle?"

"Threepio?" Rey asked incredulously. The old butler had never called her before. "How did you get this number?"

"All of the staff has your number, Mistress Reynabelle, in case of emergencies," Threepio said as-a-matter-of-factly before his tone turned serious. "Speaking of which, is Maz there? I've tried calling her but I couldn't reach her."

"She's with her sister," Rey explained, frowning as the branches of a nearby tree clattered against her window. "She will be there for a few days."

"Oh dear, oh dear," Threepio bemoaned. "I know that county. There's flooding there too. Oh dear, oh dear."

Rey shifted on the bed, suddenly concerned. "What's wrong, Threepio?"

Threepio exhaled deeply. "It's Master Solo. I've been trying to reach him but his phone appears to have been turned off and he isn't answering the landline. I was hoping Maz would go check on him. I would have, but there's flooding where I am too."

Rey's heart began pounding with dread. "Why would you need to check on Ben?"

Threepio was quiet for a moment. "I'm very worried about him, Mistress Reynabelle. He has been so depressed lately, and then suddenly, he was just...happy. It's rather alarming. But what's worrying me the most is that he's made a new will." The old butler paused, and Rey listened to the silence at the other end of the line, the information not really sinking in just yet. "Then he goes and gives everyone paid time off. He's all alone. I'm just worried that he's..." Another long pause, followed by a sigh. "It's probably nothing. I'm sure Master Solo will be alright."

Threepio started to say goodbye when Rey stopped him. "Threepio, how do I get to the manor from here?"

* * *

Rey bounced her leg and wrung her fingers as she stared out of the bus, looking for something familiar—a house, a street, a landmark, anything. She had been traveling close to two hours now, and all the rain was making it difficult for her to spot the bus stop that Threepio mentioned she should get off at.

She asked the bus driver again if they were close to where she needed to be, and again he said they were. He had been saying that the last couple of bus stops.

Worry and frustration made her bounce her leg faster, as though it will help make the bus run faster. Threepio had protested to her going to the manor by herself, but she had insisted. There was no flood in her area and she was the closest to the manor at the moment.

All the while, Rey continued to try and call Ben's phone. She knew it would only lead to voicemail, but she was getting desperate. She hoped Threepio's worries were unfounded, that Ben was alright and had either forgotten to charge his phone or simply had it turned off for no particular reason. But the more time passed, the more her gut told her something was very wrong.

Depression. Sudden happiness. A new will. Having all of the servants leave all at the same time. It all led to one horrifying conclusion which she tried not to entertain. He wouldn't...would he?

The bus stopped, and the driver told her this was her stop. She rose from her seat and pulled up the hood of her jacket before hurrying out of the bus.

She began running. The neighborhood was familiar now, despite the low visibility from the pouring rain. The wind howled all around her, slapping her cheeks with icy droplets as she ran, sneakers splashing against the wet pavement. Just a little further, and she would be at the manor. She prayed her stamina would hold out. She was by no means athletic, and she wasn't exactly dressed for the weather, having only thrown a jacket over her white blouse and knee-length skirt. In her haste to leave, she hadn't even brought an umbrella with her, and soon she was soaked to the bone. She hoped she wouldn't get sick from this.

One more turn, and she almost cried with relief at the sight of Alderaan Manor, peeking out from behind the surrounding trees. She hurried to the gates, ready to scale it if she had to, only to find it unlocked. She looked at the house and could find no lights through the windows. The power must be out, and she thanked her lucky stars.

She entered the gates and splashed through the path until she reached the front door, tugging at the double door's handles.

It was locked.

Heart lurching to her throat in fear and still too breathless from the run to speak, she raised a fist and began banging against the door.


End file.
